The Dagger Blog

You can talk tactics in here pal..sling ur hook!

2010-11-18T12:47:00.000-08:00

Its been months since i posted a blog posting...but the time has come to vent some rants! and its all good in FML world...or is it..

In GW voller this evening (1 of my only 3 gw`s..well nearly) a fellow user was asked to move along from the tactics room for talking about tactics!! lovely..were playing family fortunes you see and im afraid..X eh oh (or whatever the noise is) you cant talk tactics in the tactics room...so run along nothing to see here..go talk in the lobby with the lobbyists..

The Lobbyists...a bunch of highly comical sometimes bordering on damm right offensive..but dare i say comical again!....walking a tightrope accross a cavern of muting and yellow cards...nah! cos we are always just on the right side of the line..i try to be funny most of the time....random facebook pictures of fellow users girlfriend has been high on the amusement list in valderamma this week..."well i say..dont bloody add me to facebook if you dont want the abuse" its not hard..Random lobby joke of the week..from fellow essex boy..chris sawya! "I failed my politics exam question, which was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer."

This evening i noticed when signing into voller or sancheez..i cant remember which one...there was a message about gameworldplus`s new podcast! i grabbed the old iphone 4..downloaded the explicit content..and with much excitement started to play it...i gotta be honest...you miserable gits!! its like 3 blokes in an empty pub all holding knives to there wrists!! liven it up lads!! a bit of humour is needed!! wahey!

The forums are boring me at the moment...FML is dying blah blah...MARC DUFFY IS A CONE blah blah...the m.e is shit blah blah...well lets pep it up a bit and add some amusing screenshots...cant wait for the youtube addition...theres going to be more videos with classic cockups than a video stream from youporn.com!!

Restart restarts...Ive restarted in all 3 of my gameworlds...and one word..just one..PACE...its easy..filter the available players..and just pick any with half decent stats and PURE pace...in one of my teams..the slowest player has 18 pace...its highly amusing watching them leg it past 14-18 rep teams..

Poundland...role up role up...24 rolls of kitchen towell for £1 or if you want..u can have 16 players for £16..thats just £1 each!! amazing bargains!!

So i thought what i would do...in valderamma is..all the Teams in the DFA would get there own season preview!! your nuts..no i clearly have too much time on my hands..i completed the task in 3 hours...and it was generally recieved well...if your gonna pay a fiver of your kids inheritance on a game..you may as well get involved..its only a game alan!!

Kev.

The Final Whistle...The Return of the Toni Report!

2010-05-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle

Is back “phoenix from the flames of blissett” for a special editon!
Also returning Is the Toni Report!!! Our legendary shoot from the commentary box coach of the daggers brand and “getitupemutd”

First we check out on the Daggers FML Football Franchise…

Daggers UTD-GW Valderamma: The Youth Project: Regens and Academy built..no grads yet!! Ho ho!

Having just disposed of all but 2 senior players from the original pool of wannabee regens Daggers Utd are now focused on youth..Currently around 50th in the youth rankings..but probably should be a bit higher up..but until they sort out different youth categories for 16,17,18,19 and 21 this is where we will expect to see the Daggers Kids.

Dagenham and Romford UTD: GW Turkyilmaz: The 27-30 club!

All players are aged between 27-30 and all from the original pool except 1 player purchased.

Current Ranking 603rd, no youth team- The Paul Walker Cone Academy was built on 28th April current grads zero..the special bus hasn’t delivered any yet.

Dagenham and Romford AFC:GW Voller: the 21-30 club + mexio youth academy..total grads 3

Currently 776th in the world rankings…the long ball game being played here..5th in the 2nd run of EFA comps..and a healthy projected finance..current transfer fund 1m…this is for a rainy day or for when all the rest of the clubs go bust cos the owe the florist too much money for flowers!

Daggers Glory UTD: Gw Butragueno: The im not sure why ive got this account team!
Currently ranked 554th in the rankings and 9th in the reception football league standings..Youth academy in Holland..have received 2 grads and neither of them are going to be playing in “shexy football”

GET IT UP EM UTD! GW Lemerre: Simply a drunk subs..got home from a few lucky ones with the lads and thought it would be funny to get a 5th account! The mrs loves its..Sega 4.99 on the old daily text fro the bank! I`ll have to cancel a couple soon..once the old free subs run out on 3 of them from various prizes we won during the Christmas prize bonanza thing before reset!

The Toni Report

So FML is reset and we are all still bloody moaning..ive seen it all this last few weeks…sour grapes..moaning about AI winning the league, people telling us there quitting on the forums..and I bet they don’t…you cant put this down kids!! `Rage quitting` was quite a fasion for a few weeks…oh ive changed my mind…please can I have some money to get some more players..cos I think I learned from my mistakes..oh yeh sure..have some cash buddy…knock yerself out..you get some more attention..coochy coochy coo!

How about the big RT biting the dust…well im not to sorry to see he go..i was often in the headmasters office getting told off with smilies and party hats…the new regime has already flexed its muscle and caused chaos in the market place chat..its great..we can discuss why managers..are trying to flog 85k mv players for 1.7m!! KABOoOOOM! All we need is a few of the photo shop kids to do some nifty work with a rubber and an air brush and advertise him as a potential king of zamunda to the African nation of kiwake mular! And we have ourselves the next Didier drogba! Bingo!! Oh actually he`s not he`s a 3 star potential player that would probably only make it at some Sunday league team in the blue square league south league 2 reserve league!

The match engine is the main topic of discussion on the forums and the main reason for people quitting… …”if you cant beat em join em” its simple..stop moaning play narrow and stick 3 big lads up front!! I cant believe you haven’t thought of this “Double face palm!”

Is it me or do the games take longer to play now..i keep having to check with the bench to see if the lads are set to fast speed…I can now make a whole flask of coffee last a whole game!! It saves going back to the burger van ever ten minutes..speaking of burger vans..when can we get these from the Rep points store…Larry the Lion is the only amusing thing worth purchasing of late…having the black leopard mascot scares the kids..so that’s no good..give us a burger van to put on the pitch or a picture of an old rusty tractor!!
Back to the Car lot for toni this week…time for him to boof up the quiff and sell some cut and shutters to the poles!

“managing a football team is like making love to the wife
or failing that a beautiful women”

And finnally...

says: (20:59:26)<:colour#0>
<:colour#4281545523>larsson lolby please <:default#>

says: (21:05:57)<:colour#0>
<:colour#4281545523>we have 48 in the Keane Chat <:emoticon#67><:default#>

come on now..cant you boys all play in the same chat rooms..do u really have to stay on your own sects...its like the "Gracious church of our lord the saviour of FML" new age churches popping up everywhere...its a community thing i guess.. oh not its not..its a lets have our own private chat room because of the takeover the lobby kids in the main world..get it up em utd!!

After the first publish of the lastest final whistle..we had complaints from our avvid reader MR Matthew Thomas of farmer land in colchester...after trawling the acrhives of google images..i found a random matt thomas picture..i believe this is him...

If you see him talking rubbish in the EFA chat room in valderamma..dont worry its because he`s been smoking manure flavoured roll ups..give em up son!

The top 24 do`s and donts!

2010-05-04T13:26:00.000-07:00

Things to do and not to do when playing FML.

1. You must insert and amusing “middle” name into your screen name

2. You must never interact within anyone under the age of 18 as they seem to be better than you at everything, they know the answers to everything, they are quicker witted than you and all appear to want to go into politics’. God help us

3. Do not ever get chatting to anyone from a “mafia” based cult from Scotland.Do not interact with anyone who delivers milk and lives next to a graveyard...yes these people play fml

4. Learn how to sell utter rubbish for a profit...this will help your ebay career.

5. DO not ever get involved with discussions in the lobby full stop.

6. Never insert amusing adverts trying to sell mahogany sideboards in the market place..this isn’t Ebay.

7. Never Link any external sites in the lobby..even if its only for a cooling fan for a PC..this will get you a talking to by a support moderator.

8. Never offer to do Reports on your FA without first seeing a counsellor as the FML mail setup is worse than trying to send an EMAIL via AOL webmail.

9. Try and get the most irritating colour for your name so everyone puts you on ignore.

10. Try and help as much as you can in help even if there is 14 chat helpers online at once..you then get told “thanks but no thanks” when applying for a job

11. Learn the “foth” language..this includes “FU”, “FO” “Waxer” , “Cone” and “Kent”
12. Learn how to spam the EFA room with the devil emoticon

13. Remember your in a new world now and try not to discuss too much your previous worlds..even if you have been in more than you can actually remember

14. To remain unnoticed by anyone do not bid crazy money for youth players..as this will spark a 300 page discussion in your in box.

15. Never Argue with officially appointed people in the game..as they know best..honest.

16. The basics..no swearing, no racist jibes,talking about the church, or posting tasteless but highly amusing jokes that someone just text you on your iphone

17. Get as many Subscriptions as possible so it looks like you have too much time on your hands....and this way everyone get confused as to which gameworld you are in and then cancel them all at once and see people loose there jobs.

18. Get banned from ALL FML gameworlds then appear in a gw after the reset just incase SI run out of money.

19. Have the TV on whilst playing FML even tho your not actually watching it..thats what they invented I player and newsgroup download for. Turn it off, think of the Emissions!! vote green!

20. If you badly need a to go for a piss..go for a piss..”just one more game”, turns into an hour later and you have probably burst your bladder

21. Create an amusing blog to vent your frustrations on…but whatever you do don’t make it into a documentary

22. DO not sit up till midnight waiting for rankings to update..as they do every hour now!!

23. When signing into your chosen gw..please remember which world you in so you don’t make yourself look a right tit in help.

24. And Finnaly..do not whatever you do..feed a FML manager after midnight..and Deffinately do not let him see sunlight!! Oh and if you have a wife or family…make sure you have a picture of them on your desk so you don’t mistake them for being the cleaning company.

25. AND dont be embarrassed of your surname...just putting "Brad" or "Dave" or some other silly thing like "Don" or even the most annoying "SIR" in place of your full name is not good for your self esteem...man up!

Duffy in slur at Daggers Manager...

2010-04-29T13:29:00.000-07:00

To the bat cave! oh no its the SI forums..

So...Richy T has been shuffled from power...theres a dedicated thread put up in memory of the "Great man" and i made a few comments...and eventually Duffy tells me to shut up...WELL `duffy` dont put these kind of posts in a public forum...i know anyone reading this (rik) will say STFU Kev..but nigh on short of putting flowers around the forum like they do when somone dies in a car crash...its just ludicrous..IF Rt was that well liked and well thought of at SI or Sega surely they would have found a job for him?

These things happen..i got out of supermarket management some months ago now because they were removing a tier of management..even tho i would have been safe for a while..things change quickly...as it does in any buisness..

I get all the "he done loads for me", "he helped me in my life", im sure he did..but the long and the short of it is...you were a moderator in a FOOTBALL MANAGEMENT SIMULATOR and he was all of a sudden your best mate..well great..im sure he pays your mortgage for you as well

People move on loose there jobs, homes every day..im sure he saw this coming and made plans for the future...did he do a good job...probably...i dont know..i had many an email from him regarding concerns with the game..his over-use of the emoticons was amusing and his script supplies were legendary...but was he really the "best fwend you can ever have" get a grip..

so ends the RT rant..and as DUFFY said to me in the nicest possible way STFU!

peace.

2010-04-24T04:21:00.001-07:00

Its all about the Quick play!

2010-04-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

Every time i sign into one of my 4 accounts..all i read is a bout Quick play this quick play that...last call...last reminder...starting at 8 blah blah!! What is going on?? Is that all people want now quick plays?? im a bit tired of it in all honesty...and lets be honest..there not really quick...they sometimes spread into the next day where people sign out after they start.

FML has gone down hill a bit lately and im just getting a bit tired of it...the continual lag is a nightmare..every night in my main account in valderdrama.

The biggest thing that is currently annoying me..is the continual mail messages when someone wins something with...oooh well done..up the st johns or up the greaves...get a grip people..those days have gone..your in new worlds now..forget all that and move on...its highly annoying...

what we need is some MR T type action...

"whats this home boy..you missing your old world? you want to play with your old buddies in the old world..chatting in the new world chat rooms with all your freinds...mix with the new boys in the new chat room...your old gameworld is gone
its finished..its been deleted...GET SOME NUTS"

Tommorow night...Daggers Manager to record an interview with the GW1 lads accross the pond...im not sure what to expect with in terms of questions...this all came about after i had a little dig on the facebook post around only speaking to fanboys and mods...then i thought..am i a fan boy?? nope...and im deffinatly not a mod..and never will be one..my rap sheet is bigger than the servers can handle!! ive only every had 1 yellow card amazingly in all my FML career...hopefully i`ll be good enough to go onto there broadcastable pod cast...i`ll try my best to give the views of the wider community and not the fan boy base!!

Lag or a Blag!

2010-03-30T13:13:00.000-07:00

ITs not often i find myself blogging something serious and thought provoking...but theres a first time for everything!!

right lets do some maths...10 gw`s with 1000 users in each..thats 10,000 subscribers or paying customers as the great british supermakets would say...so 10,000*4.99 is 50,000 give or take a few ££ as there are subbers who still have freebies offerings from previous gw`s...

So to the point...50k per month turnover for FML roughly...not alot really is it..when u pay out wages and power and server stuff etc..

so why has the lag been so appauling in all worlds since launch...i found myself defending Sega/SI over the last few days but actually if you look its just poor management. From what ive heard its about personal data being retrieved from the old gw`s which while the old gw`s are still running are taking up valuble server space for the new compacted gw`s

Lets look at this futher..when the restart happened i think most peeked at around 350-390 online at once...as to be expected to try out the shiny new gameworlds..this has now dropped from what ive seen to around 180-220 in most worlds..im only judging this on what ive seen in the worlds im in.

but why hasnt the data retrieval been done over the last few months? why has beta not shown up all the bugs that have now been shown up since restart..the academy fiasco..well maybe because beta is poorly managed..the bug posting process is terrible..posting on a forum in the hope your post might be seen by a developer..just needs to be sharper so this kind of thing doesnt happen...im sure FM10 is played and played and played by paid beta testers to ensure retail is as good as possible..even then you find patches are released hours after retail release..but its an evolving game..even games like command and conquer 4 have already had patches applied to them...

the biggest problem SI have with FML is always going to be the funding..its such a NICH market mmo..and especially football management games..its the biggest game on the planet with millions being spend worldwide...will this ever happen to an MMO game like FML? well probably not as to SEGA its not the next sonic the hedgehog..its a football sim to a very small in comparison market...will we see versions on the iphone or console? i doubt it...theres so much more to get right before they even look at this...get the basics like lag and gameplay with finances and academies before the nice stuff...im sure most would settle for that.

will we be playing FML in 12 months time? im not sure i can answer that..you hear FM 2.0 will have the 3d Engine from FM09/10 in...but surely the current servers cant handle the current game let alone overloading it with more graphical content...

whats the answer? who knows...but i do feel theres too many people slapping people on the backm in beta...the in word is the `fanboys` the people who say yes to everythying..im not sure even tho they say the do..actually lads..that ideas a piling steaming pile of portsmouth finances..just dire..

you have to have objective views in an evolving game like this..maybe its the way its put accross...

on the whole the game is better and will last longer..but get the basic right first before anything!

Its all about Alan!

2010-03-26T13:49:00.000-07:00

The phrase of the moment..

`Thats Lovely Alan`

everyone knows a dave right...but i can bet your life you know an Alan as well...but the whole gag is based around confusion..

try it..if someone texts you..reply with `Thats lovely Alan` the recipitent will look at there phone in some confusion..yes yes..i know its dumb! but life is dumb!:-)

Back to footballing matters...The Daggers have had a patchy start to pre-season even with the early first games promise...so it was time to turn to the youth! yet again the big youth wage battle is on..and having missed out on a few during the early bouts of crazy wage paying i managed to snap a couple of kids up from the regens! who needs an academy and waiting 7-14 days for some right dodgy tatt to come out of it..you`d have a better chance of getting some promising kids from the local teen disco!

Amsuingly i did manage to force someone to pay 7k wages after a late minute 6999k wage bit! For what is no more than a shot in the dark and `his stats look good to me` sure 7k will be alright, after all i did get a right load of old hackney marsh rejects in my original dirty 50!

What you really need is David Gold and Sullivan to give you a team talk...that`l do the trick..i see Franco Zola has banned them from the dressing room...hmmm...i know you own the place lads...but id rather you didnt talk to the lads at the moment..there a bit sensitive and furnishing them with copies of the Sunday sport will just un-settle them.

I think i`ll get them into my dressing room with some topless lovelies! boost the old morale a bit..thats what we need in the RP store..some good old adult smutt!! you give us the finger and a pile of poo..how bout some tits! theres plenty of tits in the world! may as well have a emoticon to go with them!

The Drunken late night purchase...had a few too many blue cans or green ones with world cup tokens on them? made some terrible purchases...shame!! have you not learnt yet...we`ve been beta testing this for 2 years now and we still purchase tatt!! its like a drunken ebay bid!

Have SI not learnt yet...they have opened a new LIVE world..Franscescoli!! i really hope for there sake its not full of quad accounters just looking to start again...i am guilty of this..i do have 4 subs going at the moment..2 regen and 2 returning stars..although i can be buggered if i can tell the diference..theres not one name i recognised in my starting 50 in the RS worlds..some people got kieron dyer and andy johnson! whats all that about! i thought they were suposed to be all even these pools..oh my mistake! there both inj in here as well!! shame

More from the Daggers in the next few days when i can think of something else to rant about!!

Daggers UTD arrive in Vallderrama!

2010-03-25T06:54:00.001-07:00

The Daggers have made the jump from Blissett to there new home of Valderama..and where not playing golf!

Although we have left our coaching team behind us,im sure Swiss Toni and Louis Balfour will soon be making a guest appearence in the blog over the next few weeks.

It looks like the new breed are making a good start to there new careers.

With our Legendary Blog coming with us, hopefully this will be the new home of Daggers Utd!! *shakes rattle and waves scarf*

So pull up a comfy sofa, grab a beer from the fridge or stick the kettle …and get on board!

its gonna be one hell of a ride!

Kev.

The Crowd are on the Pitch....

2010-03-18T14:18:00.001-07:00

14 months have gone and Blissett as it is now will soon be blowing the final whistle..

14 Seasons ago / A crack set of Football Teams where sent to a bad FML GAMEWORLD by a Football Management Tribunal court for a foul they didn't commit and a goal that was clearly in!

These Teams promptly escaped from Duffy & Collyer maximum security Compounded GAMWORLD to join Blissett. Today, still wanted by Richie `the General` Tebutt and the support team mods from SI headquarters, they survive as Football managers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can join .. BLISSETT!!

its been a hell of a journey...bit like going round on the tube and getting stuck on the northern line for 3 hours..

How did the Daggers fair over the last 14 months....i would say `Iain Dowie` winning 22 official FA titles (most of them youth, ill say that before bradley starts meh meh at me!), but in reality the daggers would have ended up in the championship..just like Hull will be with Dowie at the helm.

But its been a blast...from the Early bad boy days of Swiss Toni..to the Current Daggers Argies!! its kept me sane from the real world..6 months not working and it kept me going!!

The weekly blog with snippets from the real world of football kept us entertained.

The Banter will always be the best thing about a game like this...the discussions the arguements..the bar room brawls...the car crashes the cone factor..the molloy factor..the bradleee factor...the Ross Factor...and durn durn durn..the Jason Factor!! i quote "The FA:user#632> says: (23:20):08 nobody seems to ever want to give help on tactics in here" please note the time...its 23:20..yes PM and do you know why jason!! cos were all going to bed cos were a bit knackered!! we`ll leave you with Cleon and Bradley...the night boys!!

A Fair few have come and gone in the last 14 months...but the hardcore have kept at it from the start...The Cream of blissett...the sunbed hoggers...theres a few to mention...Ally, Tom , Stephen (even tho he did bugger off for a bit) Matty Mollloy, Arne, Bart, The Good Life..(leanne) apparently, lase, Jeff, the list goes on...then theres the mods...a fair few have been to blissett to learn the ropes....i had nothing to do with any of them leaving honest....Glenno!! the legend went awol..then they gave Bradleee the powers of the force!! even Diccon got his little shield!! The organisers...Eric `mcd`s wifi` Western, Gary `up your pineapple fritter` your knicked son Harrison! Ben `SON` Hibbert, legends in there own right..the list goes on and on!!

Its difficult to remember them all, its the community that makes this game..the Trialist world cups, the google powered quizzes, the youth FA with more competitions than u can ever think of, the who can get muted first game, XFACTOR WEEK, There was even a song written about some welsh bloke...good times have been had by all...

a few highlights from previous blogs...

The Diccon Brown Column..Training Guru!

"Being as it holiday time, this week's seen my players on a world tour.

First stop was Spain where players were left in the centre of Madrid wearing signed Ronaldo shirts. Those that were left have proven agility and will never be phased by anything again

Next was Africa for speed training with cheetahs
USA included entry into the Ultimate Fighting Championship where da Costa my red and yellow card expert excelled. He has since dyed his hair red and yellow to celebrate.
France saw players perfecting their Gallic shrug to help in protesting their innocence.

After Skeleton Bobsled in Austria none of my players are worried by diving headers anymore.
And after a final stop in Amsterdam now has my wingers flying."

The Toni Report

Have you been hurt in an accident that wasn’t your fault? Would you like to keep 100% of the compensation! GOD im glad im back at work...i couldn’t suffer anymore daytime TV..its getting more like America every day! Although i have missed watching home and away for the fit lovely`s and countdown and deal or no deal...but hey thats what the V+ is for!! You have to be kidding me...your not gonna record that tat are you...erm no! So with not as much time to while away the hours playing FML, it’s good to be back in the working class. Its good for the soul...if you have to play a computer game this much you have problems..serious problems...get help! Its also come to my attention that am calling everyone SON at the moment at work...im going to take Ben Hibbert to court for corrupting me!! And im sure i`ll be able to keep 100% of the compensation! Its what that advert said!! Blissett the gameworld the legends...is having an average of 35-40 managers at any one time good? Not really...is it good that all official FA games are delayed for a week?? Hell no! Is it good for Official SI appointed people to be condescending to customers? Hell yeah! Of course it is! Its in the Official appointed book for all officially appointed people surely! Theres some good and some bad but theres not much point in moaning...CAN WE HELP? HELL no! Cos your not an officially appointed person and anyway we don’t like the way you talk...you`ve had enough chances i tell ya! Maybe im a bit too jazzy for you? Or maybe i actually enjoy the game and don’t want to be mugged off but power crazy people with extra buttons to press! Being an officially appointed person in an online MMO might float some peoples boat..but for me channel 424 on Virgin Media is better than that! Toni.

A few Classic Lobby Quotes:

Sam Worger says: (16:34:48) I can tell if there going to be a superstar when there in the womb!

Ross Allan says: (16:39:51)
A moderator said to me what part of don’t swear don’t you understand I said well would you believe me if I suffered from dyslexia

Jim _: says: (16:35:41) Ah man my cat just put her foot in my coffee

Andrew Hunter says: (19:03:36)
It’s me who needs money, that tom guy keeps tempting me with nice youths

Brad: says: (12:43:08)What exactly is the problem, I was eating pie so was afk..

Jim Hamilton says: (22:59:09)
'life getting you down? try new JML Swine Flu!'.

Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (21:02:01)

Leather jackets from Burton with built in hoodies, gives you that Justin Timberlake look

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:32:24) I Like them HEAVY

theres more than i can type in here...just funny times!! its the bit we all forget about...after all its just a football manager game!!

so where to next...not sure really...will we be here in another 14 months time..possibly...or will we all be playing settlers 7, Command and Conquer 4 or the new CIV game at the end of the year...of course we`ll still be here..you just cant put it down..not matter how much it annoys the hell out of you..football manager is in the blood...well not really...its just part of the routine now...will you be checking back every hour to see where your ranked..will you be sitting up at midnight to get the regens in...will you be bantering in the lobby...who knows...but for now we`ll put the final few nails in the coffin of the Great Blissett gw and float her down the River Nile....we`ll end on a song..to the Mod Legend of Blissett..the one and only....Deano Philpin..a legend in his own Toy shop...

If i havent given you a mention its because im wiping away the tears...its been emotional lads and michy!! have a good final week in blissett...and dont forget to save yourself a sunbed in the new worlds before the germans get there first!:-)

Kev.

Probably one of the funniest Forums posts..

2010-01-20T01:43:00.000-08:00

And I'm sitting at my chair thinking "Well done lads, thats what I pay you for"...
But little did I know...

I am pretty convinced that the following conversation took place in my opponents bench-

-Assistant Coach:: Hey Coach, the medics are taking our Striker away, we need to make a sub
-Coach takes a look at his bench, sees only one guy sitting- :: Get him in
-Assistant Coach:: But but.. he's a Centre-Back?!?
-Coach sits back down on the bench and lights up a cigare-:: Bah, kids these days, they have no faith... WE'RE THE AI GDAMN IT, WE CANT LOSE!!!

Needless to say, 93 odd minutes later, my 4* squad lost 2-0 to a 3* squad filled with a bunch of 34yos , with a DC as a solo striker serving one goal, and scoring the second.His entire teams AQ fees added up where less than two of my U20s MV added up.

And while I sit there, watching the match stats, trying to think it rationaly, find out what kind of mistakes I did, try to understand why my 18acc,16pace-multiplestatsabove18mentals-18teqn-20dribble-3milion worth Wingers just got -TOTALLY- erased by some unknown 33yold 10acc-highermental13 fullbacks (who btw my niece would outrun if I dared telling her that we hid icecream by the corner flag) and how my DCs got outplayed by another DC, then something hit me.. and I saw a white light, and was promptly abducted by allies and ... well not exactly.

The clusterfck ragefit came, and it was the bookcase that paid the price, because hey, bookcases are much cheaper than 50inc plasmas or laptops.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE IN ALL HONESTY?!?

In between 3 seasons now, and with the 1.3 arrival, we have gone:

1) From semi decent playing goalkeepers, to goalkeepers playing like a candidate for the Special Olympics to Cyborg goalkeepers who enter the field carrying a wheelcart full of bricks and tar 5 minutes prior the game, and build a MOFOOKIN wall between the posts, then sit down and have tea

2) From DCs scoring 1 per two from corners, to DCs missing headers from 5 foot 8 jumping/10 heading forwards

3) From winning more than 65% of your games vs weaker teams, to getting a draw and consider it a 'good' result.

4) From the age of 'You have 18acc/18pace/12 finishing , dont worry 1 per 2 scoring is guaranteed' to the 'What? 20 first touch/20 finishing/20 off the ball/20 composure 1.9mil AQ Fee striker? We DONT CARE! Go miss 5 ccc's vs randomjoe WC goalkeeper.

5) From the age of 20% of the conceeded goals coming from tactical mistakes / player mistakes / own goals to 55% , yes for my team which is AEONS better than when I started, of the goals conceeded being mistakes ( missed header, missed interception , missed the bus, you name it) from defenders or goalkeepers (I even had mistake led to goal on my lone forward who plays so attacking that he rarely if ever gets back into our own pitch side)

6) From the age where you signed a DC with 130-150k AQ Fee and decisions/determination/positioning/influence/teamwork around 17 , and marking/tackling around 16 and you felt you are watching Beckenbauer reborn, to DCs with 20's in pretty much all important attributes puting the ball in your own net with the composure and attitude of the biggest HHN forward ( I have clips where the ball is 6 yards away from my posts, the closest opposing player is 15 yards away , and my DC just slides down and tackles the ball into my net )

7) From the age of actually sweating and spending your valuable skill points to unlock tactical skills which are by FAR the most important ones along with your players abilities to win a match, to the age of people clicking -Create tactics, -Find FOTM tact, click accept, and AFK to victories unheard off (Got examples of people who dont even select their initial squads, they let the AI handdle that as well so to speak)

8) From the age of clicking lineups and realising you're up against 460 and rushing into tactical changes to switch your team strat to perform against that formation to the age of conceeding from a 460 TWICE in the same match from 30 yard screamers coming from 12 long shot attribute players ( Holy hell, I mean alright, its predetermined that the match will be a 2-2 draw, but anyone with half a brain knows by now that 460 is all about controling the ball and luring your defenders outside to get through balls in or play one twos between amcs with high dribbling/flair options not shooting on freaking sight)

9) From the age of facing a very challenging opponent and try to outsmart them in the field to the age of watching the team captains pick coin sides in the middle, flip the coin, and who ever wins, get the 3 points for the day.

10) From the age of players actually being smart with getting cards to the age of players with mentals good enough for nuclear physics tackling twofooted a lone mc somewhere in the midfield after a cross ( WTF tackling a player with the ball in the air, what are they thinking?!) and getting insta red cards

11) From the age of red cards being actually a HEAVY drawback to the age where the team who goes man down at 15th-20th minute will 99% win the game ( The other 1% will be a draw )

12) From the age where you conceeded from a free kick and click on the scoring player and see Free Kicks 19+ and think 'well it figures' to the age of conceeding from a free kick and click on scoring player and see Free Kicks 12 and think 'well it figures'

13) From the age where a 17acc/17pace/18finishing WONDERKID striker would score .8 per game to the age where the same player scores .4 per game even when I specifically build a squad with players just to feed him with chances.

14) From the age of good fullbacks being actually in the database to the age of no-chance-in-hell-to-find-a-semi-decent-fullback-so-pick-someone-with-16acc/14jump/16tackling-and-pray.

Above mentioned examples may seem harsh or even unreal but more or less they have truth inside them.And yea I'm ****ed.And I'm trying to not care about it, but you know what.I want to care, because I like the 'competitiveness' of this game. Thats the only reason to even play it in the first place.Who cares about skins, or about pretty windows or even a 3D engine? I dont. I just want to play vs a human controlled teams and be spurred to get better day by day, learning from mistakes, shafling the cards and try to win as many games as possible.I'm sick and tired of trying to find excuses of why I lost XXX game, why the silly match stats say 25shots/15ontarget/5longshots/6 ccc vs 8 shots/3ontarget/5long shots/0ccc and lose 0-2, sick and tired when the opposition gets a red card in a midfielder before half time and finishes the game with 59% possetion, sick and tired of having 10% of my wins being wins where I got lucky in the field and 35% of my losses being losses where I TOTALLY dominated someone but , oh well you must lose.

Someone needs to come forward and explain things to the core:

-Are the games predetermined-fixxed? Because they sure do feel like that a lot of times.
-Do the hidden stats play a far bigger role than they are supposed to?
-Why does the game currently feel more luck-based than actually tactical based? (Yes I do have a big beef about tactics in game and the way teams perform, I played a two leg match recently, outcome in my home grounds was 3-0 where actually the opposing team ended with 0 shots , yes ZERO shots, then we play in his stadium, first half ends he has ZERO shots again, by 65th minute I'm ahead 2-0, he has 4 shots but none on target, by 73th minute and him having made all 3 subs, he gets his MC injured, but the STUPID DOT NEVER LEAVES THE FIELD , IT JUST STANDS THERE, AND I CANT SELECT THE PLAYER IN THE TACTICS LINEUP TO TELL MY MIDFIELDERS TO STOP TIGHT MARKING HIM BECAUSE DA DA DADADADA HE'S FREAKING DEAD, then all miraciously his team makes 3 shots and scores on all of them and I lose 3-2 because my stupid players kept staying on the injured guy. Btw both mine and his team are 4* rep clubs)

I just noticed this post has gotten freaking long, I wouldnt even read it myself personally, but bleh, I had to say these things. Got a lot more to add as well, but my hand is sore from punching the bookcase, and I need some coffee badly, so cheers, and pray to freakin Lucifer that 1.4 will bring a match engine that will actually -allow- us to do exactly what we are supposed to: Be actual managers.

2009-12-16T04:54:00.000-08:00

XFACTOR WEEK..AND WE SAY FAREWELL TO A LEGEND!

2009-11-07T06:14:00.000-08:00

In Blissett this week its XFACTOR WEEK! with competitions, quizzes and our very own Blissett Kareoke Spectacluar with our very own king of the mic Gary Party ORG Harrison!!

We also say farewell to a Blissett Legend...no less then the EX mod..DEANO PHILPIN!

we have written a quick song in memory of this week of fun! to the tune of Dexy`s Midnight Runners song..oh gino!

they dont quite all fit but not far off

DEANO! DEANO! DEANO!DEANO!DEANO...

Back in 'FML in a sweaty Welsh club
Oh, DEANO
Before DEANO`s Machine and The Pembrokshire Club
Oh-oh-oh DEANO-o
On a night when Football didn't suit my boots
After a week of flunkin' and bunkin' Work
The lowest head in the crowd that night
Just practicin' steps and keepin' outta the fights in the lobby!

Academic inspiration, you gave me youth players
But you were Yilmaz`s lover
The Manager that won
But now just look at me
I'm looking down at you
No, Im not bein flash
Its what Im built to do!
OH YILMAZ!

That man took the stage, his sheep was swingin' high
Oh DEANO
This man was our mod, my FML, my high
Oh-oh-oh DEANO
The crowd they all hailed you, and chanted your name
But they never knew like we knew
USand you were the same
And now you're all over, your song is so tame, brrrrr
You modded me, you braded me, I'll remember your name

Academic inspiration, you gave me none
You were Philpin the manager
The Manager that won
But now just look at me
I'm looking up at you
No, Im not bein flash
Its down the youth ranks i go!

Oh DEANO, Woh-oh-oh DEANO
Oh DEANO, Woh-oh-oh DEANO

come back for more during the week!

Classic Quotes from the World of FML

2009-10-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

Ive not done a blog on the daggers for a while..so thought id give some time to letting you into the world of our support in the game and out of it..some of it is hilarious reading...

is calling someone a `mug` being a troll? apparently so!

anyway to some quoting..

"Moderators are here to ensure that the Gameworld runs smoothly and to ensure that everyone abides by the rules that make the game enjoyable for all."

enjoyable? gotta say some of the moderators are ok..good blokes..some are just on a big power trip..its not clever..its a game.

"it's really not great going into other Gameworlds, or to RT for that matter, to see how they run."
No? well maybe you should all visit some other worlds to see how there run properly

"We're not looking to apportion any blame on anyone for anything, and we're not trying to personally attack you either. There are just a few issues that I hope we can iron out."
seriosuly..who types this nonsense!

"If you have any questions for me, or anything that you would like to comment on then please do not hesitate to mail me, or another Moderator".

or maybe just ask a mod in another gameworld? oh not thats not allowed..sorry.

straight from the gw tonight...a classic quote from one of our most angry of moderators... says: (21:51:02)<:colour#0>
<:colour#4281545523>can you wank left handed<:default#>??

nice...a great example to set to the rest of the world..cheers.

"I'm sorry but I've removed your chatrights. It's nothing you've done or anything its more of a reshuffle purpose."

no we think your a tosser..now fuck off..cheers.(this wasnt me by the way)

finally another classic quote from an ingame moderator..baring in mind this was in a public chat area... says: (21:51:44)<:colour#0>
<:colour#4281545523>kev<:default#>
<:colour#4278522072> says: (21:51:52)<:colour#0>
<:colour#4281545523>fuck off<:default#>

what a guy!

now we move onto the lovely support team of football manager live..id love to meet there script writer...its bordering on stand-up!

"Moderators do not have to be the life and soul of the party within a gameworld to make it fun"

"I'm sure if you provide enough notice the Mod team will be able to get things organised for you."

"he cannot start offering out cash just because you tell him so, can he? ;)"

might want to get your facts right there!

I hope that this provides some fun and excitement for Blissett, but please have faith in the Moderators to do the right thing

so really..just keep the faith..40 managers on if your lucky and a `team of people to ensure you have a great experience in the game which you pay for` nice one.

A new edition the the classic quotes...This wasnt sent to me..but another victim of the Moderator Script Service..

Like I said earlier, your efforts to undermine moderators is not appreciated by anyone but we would sincerely like to offer you the chance to continue to contribute to the Gameworld. But it has to work two ways me old mate, you need to think before saying things in public that could undermine others appointed within the game by Sega/SI, and if you have an issue with something then we should be able to dicuss it properly in a Personal Message. If a decision is made that you don't like then thats unfortunate, but everything will not always be the way that we want it either.

for crying out loud..its a bloody game...this is getting worse..
KEEP THE FAITH!

GAMEWORLD OPEN!

2009-09-22T02:29:00.000-07:00

JOIN us NOW!

"Fans from clubs all over the world join Blissett, you'll feel right at home with the first class community spirit and many friendly, dedicated managers. Live a life of Blissett - Become a Blissett Legend."

9 Seasons ago / A crack set of Football Teams where sent to a bad FML GAMEWORLD by a Football Management Tribunal court for a foul they didn't commit and a goal that was clearly in!

These Teams promptly escaped from Duffy & Collyer maximum security Compounded GAMWORLD to join Blissett. Today, still wanted by Richie `the General` Tebutt and the support team mods from SI headquarters, they survive as Football managers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can join .. BLISSETT!! durn durn durn!!

Starring your Mods :-

Marcus the "Howling Mad Murdock" Cain, Cleon "The Hanibal" Hobson, who loves it when a plan comes together -, Deano `The Faceman` Philpin, Rich `the crazy white pimp driving fool` Gibson, and Andreas "B.A" Timmelstad, no messing with this guy, he wears tight fitting lycra suits just for fun, Mike `on the run from the rozzers` Howett and Brad `The AI King of fortune` Dick,...there football mod managers of fortune!!

Come join Blissett...with many Gameworld benefits.

With all New FA structure fully underway its a great time to join Blissett...WE also have managers to guide you through starting in an old Gameworld...It easier in an old gw..theres plenty of star players to pick up for nothing..we have the inside information!!

Can you really afford not too?

www.blissett.org.uk Website for all the goings on during the season

*Top Moderators (well so they say)
*A top lineup of in game Organisers who listen to managers needs and ideas
*Great Gameworld Competition
*Season ends 21st September so get in from 8pm onwards...welcoming chat in the lobby with our resident king of the one liner, matt molloy! *PICK up some decent players for all new teams
*A Massive Core of active manager on most nights..New and Established
*Lively Debate in the Lobby and FA rooms...all friendly..This isnt Whiteside!
*FULL youth setup in most FA`s where possible*A VAN load of players available (screenshots below)
*Good loan market from established managers to New Managers
*Loads of Managers on hand to help 22 hours a day
*Tactical Support network (we even have tactics to combat the 4-6-0)
*No hierachy of good and poor teams..we are ONE gameworld.
*We also have an award winning blog returning for the new season..funnier than ever before!
*Our own newspaper and FA reporters from ALL FA`s
*a Stable economy..no inflated wages or Market place.
*SUPER extra FA`s with the Youth FA running Quick play leagues and cups this season for managers on for more time than they should be!!
*With the 1.3 Patch due anytime now with a feast of fetures! you could win some tokens! woop! woop!...come join us before then and get the hang of it first!!

WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT FROM FML...its a great place to be...GET IN THERE NOW!!

ITS WHERE LEGENDS CHOOSE TO PLAY...BLISSETT...the best in FML Gameworlds...for a small taste of what goes on...check...http://thedaggers.blogspot.com/ a weekly look into the real world of football and FML...

IF you want to be involved in a great game and a great world...HIT the Transfer button now!! http://www.footballmanagerlive.com/gameworlds/ and search for the BEST..BLISSETT!!

were not looney`s honest!

The Final Whistle Special Edition!

2009-07-06T14:13:00.000-07:00

The Dagger Blog..The Final Whistle...

In tonight’s Action packed special edition we have our usual columns from the world of FML and the REAL world..that’s right you heard it here first FML is not real it’s a game!

Tonight’s contents include:
The Dagger Report- The news from the camp!

The Diccon Brown Column- the Guru of Training returns with a World Tour Special!

The Toni Report- Swiss Toni is back with his rule on the world!

On that Bomb shell- A new bit with thought provoking comment...ish.

First tonight we head over to the Ted Bovis Training camp deep in the heart of the East end...of Essex!

The Dagger Report

With Pre-season now fully behind us the lads were eager to get stuck into the SEFA youth leagues..The seniors were of no interest really except to give the RAVENS the run around for a few games then get tonked by some nasty older boys in some other games. Monday! The big kick off had arrived..it was rather like watching re-runs of JFK being shot in History lessons at school a million times..You just knew what would happen every time..yes he got shot..SO Tuesday came and went..oh and so did Wednesday and then i think it was Thursday after that then it was a bit of a blur and by the lap of gods it was FRIDAY!! Wooo! The weekend of the 1st week of a new season....We had a riot on our hands and the lads in the campsite were restless..they had beaten each other at FIFA 09 so many times they had blisters on their hands from using the controls to much or as i suspect it was probably from tonking one off too much whilst watching channel 424 on virgin tv cos nasty uncle Michael had put parental control on the other last night entertainment channels..there not for kids apparently. But the SEFA youth leagues were started HOOORRAAHHHH! We got off to a great start..unbeaten in the u17`s until that nasty grizzly Anglo-American team put our unbeaten run to an end..then a brutal tonking at the hands of those pesky ravens brought the good start to the u17`s Sefa league to an end...oh we did manage a credible draw against those hearts lads..The u21`s and 19`s have started well and with a few new recruits on the horizon...Im very happy with the start we have made to season 2 of youth camp!! Much Love...TED.

The Diccon Brown Column..Training Guru!

Being as it holiday time, this week's seen my players on a world tour.

First stop was Spain where players were left in the centre of Madrid wearing signed Ronaldo shirts. Those that were left have proven agility and will never be phased by anything again

Next was Africa for speed training with cheetahs
USA included entry into the Ultimate Fighting Championship where da Costa my red and yellow card expert excelled. He has since dyed his hair red and yellow to celebrate.
France saw players perfecting their Gallic shrug to help in protesting their innocence.

After Skeleton Bobsled in Austria none of my players are worried by diving headers anymore.
And after a final stop in Amsterdam now has my wingers flying.

The Rags!

Being as its the summer the top five in this edition are from that game England are really good at..yes you got it..Cricket!!

...Signs the Aussie attack isn’t what it used to be

5. Overhear Mitchell Johnson Bitch. “I’m not wearing that cap with these Trousers.

4. “intense training” involved painting toenail in front of Desperate housewives.

3. “ He our new Paul McGrath.” “No don’t you men Glenn McGrath? “NOPE” “Then may god have mercy on us all.

2.”...And in comes Hilfenhaus now, mincing in from the Cathedral Road end

1. “oh, you silly sausage” does not rank among the greatest sledges of all time

The Ashes got under way in Wales, and some Australians were not happy. Ricky pointing said “If he wanted impenetrable accent , unnecessarily stupid town name, sheep and misplaced national pride. We`d have stayed at home”

The Series promises to be close. And Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has warned that “we can`t take the Australians’ lightly and that “James Anderson” has huge responsibility”. Andrew Strauss thanks Radcliffe for his input and is now sweating on the verdict of the chuckle brothers.

Robbie Fowler will miss North Queensland furys opener of the season after picking up another injury but says he`s not there to enjoy the sun. “ I’m not here for a holiday” he said, whilst licking his 99, wearing a kiss me quick hat and riding a donkey.

Paddy Kenny could be suspended for 2 years after testing positive for the band stimulant ephedrine. Doctors also found generous traces of Curly Wurly.
In Kenny `s defence his prosecutors will struggle to say that the banned substance proved performance enhancing.

Roger Federer has revelead that he`s inspired by Mohamed Ali, Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. Alex Bogdanovis meanwhile says he`s inspired my Neil Kinnock, Frank Spenser, Sarah Palin and the Films of Rick Moranis.

The Toni Report

Have you been hurt in an accident that wasn’t your fault? Would you like to keep 100% of the compensation! GOD im glad im back at work...i couldn’t suffer anymore daytime TV..its getting more like America every day! Although i have missed watching home and away for the fit lovely`s and countdown and deal or no deal...but hey thats what the V+ is for!! You have to be kidding me...your not gonna record that tat are you...erm no! So with not as much time to while away the hours playing FML, it’s good to be back in the working class. Its good for the soul...if you have to play a computer game this much you have problems..serious problems...get help! Its also come to my attention that am calling everyone SON at the moment at work...im going to take Ben Hibbert to court for corrupting me!! And im sure i`ll be able to keep 100% of the compensation! Its what that advert said!! Blissett the gameworld the legends...is having an average of 35-40 managers at any one time good? Not really...is it good that all official FA games are delayed for a week?? Hell no! Is it good for Official SI appointed people to be condescending to customers? Hell yeah! Of course it is! Its in the Official appointed book for all officially appointed people surely! Theres some good and some bad but theres not much point in moaning...CAN WE HELP? HELL no! Cos your not an officially appointed person and anyway we don’t like the way you talk...you`ve had enough chances i tell ya! Maybe im a bit too jazzy for you? Or maybe i actually enjoy the game and don’t want to be mugged off but power crazy people with extra buttons to press! Being an officially appointed person in an online MMO might float some peoples boat..but for me channel 424 on Virgin Media is better than that! Toni.

On that Bombshell!

“The game is great as long as you want to play long term.... I think those that come in and expect to win divisions in there first season are abruptly dragged back to reality- and after their prams have been emptied of toys, they disappear.”

Thats it for the Blog this week...next weeks edition will possibly be on Sunday night! If your lucky! Have a good week! See you on the other side!

Kev.

The Final Whistle 26-06-09

2009-06-26T12:12:00.000-07:00

The Dagger Blog Of Blissett...

Sponsored this week by the job centre plus!

In this weeks smaller than usual Issue..i blame it on the boogie.

The Dagger Report-Kids progressing well? we ask Ted.

The Rags- Our usual top 5 and dig into the daily`s

The Diccon Brown Training tip...he`s not pissed you know!

The Toni Report-Satirical reporting from the world of FML.

Firstly this will be the last blog for a while, I will be returning to the working class of great britain next week and as of yet are unsure what kind of hours i will be workig. I hope youve enjoyed reading over the last few months..if you havent well i dont care, its been fun writing it and keeping the majority amused, i think ive done ok with that bit!

The Dagger Report.

So how are the kids doin TED? not bad..they`ve trained hard this week and are looking forward to a brand new campsite on tuesday, there perticulary excited about the new tactics whiteboard being installed...pass...SHOOT! its not difficult i tell them...but joking aside they have had a great season and there progression has been nothing short of superb. On a sad note our young mexican lad has been crippled for 5 days after a disgracefull tackle by some hooligin in an u17`s SEFA game..dirty buggers. IF he wanted the rolex off of him im sure hector would have given it to him. On a scouting point of view ive been scouring the world for new talent..kids for next seasons u17 team..im suprised there has been none come up on the radar..but maybe now that singing superstar bloke has karked it they may come out of hiding..we need some new blood in the campsite for next seasons adventures into the SEFA dungeons league! Thanks Ted, an incitefull comment as ever!

The Rags

Our top 5 this week if for that Scottish Tennis player..

Signs weight of expectation will get to Andy Murray

5.Takes courtside advice from a sock on his right hand called "DR Sockingdon"

4.Strops-Mid Match "Wheres the Queen? Lazy.I have to look at her mush every time i lick a stamp

3.No more Highland spring v Evian controversy. Why whats he been drinking..ah sweet sweet turps.

2.Runs out onto centre court,Arms out stretched, wearing a cape

1."change ends" sorry?- I thought you said underpants.

Other Tennis News..

Alex Bogdanovic insits he`s getting better every year. By the time his 73 he`ll have progressed to the status of utter dog shit!

Jelena Jankovic defended womens tennis this week. "Citing all the personalties that we have" she was then asked to name one other than serena williams and her head exploded.

Hull City fans are preparing chants for transfer target Michael Owen. To play along with the crowd. Owen will sit on the floor for 90 mins and cry into his hands for a full 90 minuetes.

Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce has been given all the transfer kitty from the santa cruz deal to man city. He not sure wether to buy a striker a midfielder or make a bid for the town of blackburn.

Patrick Vieria Could join PSG this week, but coach Antoine Kombouare says his wages could be a problem. As for the fact that he`s now absolute bobbins!

Stoke Manager Tony Pulis has told his players that they can expect big changes in the dressing room next season. Yes the showers will be made from a chrome aluminium composite.

And finally to rugby news where Gareth Hock, the Wigan Rugby league player has tested posotive for Cocaine.The club were stunned. An inquest is being held to discover how anyone living in Wigan can afford Cocaine!

The Diccon Brown Coaching Tips.

Back to basics If your youngens continually pass the ball across the goal tie them hands and feet to a roof above a crocodile pit… see how they then will do anything to get balls away from the mouth (of the goal).

If strikers can't score take them clubbing in east London… if they still can't score shoot them… it's for their own good really.

Midfielders who dwell on the ball put in the electric chair version of Mastermind… any time they get an answer wrong crank up the crank up the juice… see who starts to understand a simple pass often works wonders.

And if your keeper is having trouble with where he should be in relation to the goal half John Bobbit him… apparently if you're lacking in that area it's all about positioning.

The Toni Report

Afte blogging and reporting in Blissett for the last few months with a mixture of Real life comment from the real world and some very entertaining discussions and comic genius from the lobby. This will as already mentioned be the last blog for a while. Its been fun and has kept the old brain cells ticking over for the last 3 months whilst ive been away from work.

So what have we learnt from FML as SI/Sega launch a new pro-world and the mass rush from blissett didnt quite happen and Des Oconner has a new album out..what more can you want...we lost a few but nothing to worry about..Im sure with 1.2 arriving on Tuesday and some new marketing from those SEGA lads im sure we will see an influx of new blood to the gameworld..you never know we might even get some people come back to spend there £15m fortunes. Good lad i say! A few thankyou`s..big one to Diccon for the training reports, always amusing. All the managers who appeared in the blog and made some of the transcripts in the early editons amusing and to the mods for allowing me to post the blog within FML...im sure at times it was a little too JAZZY! but there you go..thats what its all about..a very Jazzy Football management SIM!

A parting ..this was probably one of my favourite rants from blogs past..the manager in question is now plying his trade in Whiteside..and if you get a min listen to the pod cast here...the dagger blog gets a mention at 57 mins if you get bored!

http://www.fm-britain.co.uk/2009/05/13/episode-20-vincent-eintracht/

Vincent 'Red Card' Lavezzi: (16:38:17)
And now the FML classified results starting in the Boreclays Premiership .
Stadium Investor 0 ..Team investor 2
Long term planner 0 ..Short term 1
Wreckless Wage FC 4 ..Conservative Utd..1
AI vs active player (courtesy of Diccon Brown)
Artificial City 2 . Sporting Newbie 1
Very funny stuff...a great rant..i wont broadcast the rest as the kids are watching!!

Thats it! Its been a blast!

Kev.

The Final Whistle 19-06-2009

2009-06-19T13:25:00.001-07:00

THE FINAL WHISTLE- The final Say in a week of Football and FM Live.

The week’s Issue is sponsored by Setanta Sports.Show me the money!

In tonight’s action packed issue..

The Dagger Report- Ted Bovis and his youth camp.No tower blocks here!

Diccon Brown`s Training Tips- Tonight we go back to nature

The Rags- No top 5 tonight.Don’t do Korean gags.It’s not the done thing.

The Toni Report- From the Boardroom of the Daggers.Toni`s take on the week

The Final Thought...Just a Thought that’s all.

The Dagger Report

First we kick off with a report from Ted Bovis- Youth and First team coach of Daggers!

Its been a good week of development with these lads, the dressing rooms have been cleaned up, the mold has been removed from the shower tray and the tramp can now piss outside..simple as, there’s no room now for any slapdash changing rooms. This may have something to do with the demands of a certain young man from Mexico. The board went all out for this lad, bidding a meagre 50k wages for this lad...they finally landed the boy for 36k! But he`s gonna be great i tell you...he`s already a dab hand at the karaoke in the ballroom during the evening entertainment sessions. I’m a bit concerned though by the 60 inch plasma he had delivered from ARGO this week...its keeps the lads awake at night..Im also a bit concerned he may fall out of his bunk bed if he gets a bit carried away with the wii remote whilst playing fifa 09. But anyway how are the rest of the lads shaping up...very well..it’s been a good first season...bang in the goals and a few mishaps at the back..it’s all good learning for them...i just wish they’d be more careful when knocking 40 yard cross field passes across their 18 yard box..be careful lads!

Diccon`s training Tips:

Nature vs. Nurture

Well it's not in my nature to nurture so this week the lads are going back to nature.
Yellowstone Park style.

Defenders are training as foresters, practicing felling safely in the area, the mids are learning whittling to get their creativity going, the strikers are sent off hunting anyone without a brace when they get back gets shot and the keepers are off with the bears... well if they can cope with those one on ones...

The Rags

A look into the funnies from the daily rags in London...a few of the best ones from the real world of sport and football

North Korea qualified for World Cup 2010, where they will most likely exit at the group stages. OR, as the Korean press will report it: “KIM JONG Il Hat-trick inspires world cup glory”.

Sky player means you can watch the ashes on the computer at work. It’s great news for cricket lovers, who can follow the action. And better news for HR departments, as those pesky cutbacks are made a little easier “HOWIZEEEE”...well out of a job!
Amanda Holden was at ROYAL ASCOT on Tuesday, apparently she won. Its hard to tell as she tends to look startled most of the time

The IRAN football team showed support for Mir Hosseien Mousavi by wearing green armbands this week. England once showed comparable levels of unity when lampsy and wazza split a round of cristal.

Sheikh Hamden Bin Mohamed al Maktoum is under investigation for horse doping offences. Suspicions were aroused when the horse was found in its stable listening to early Genesis and laughing hysterically at the Queens hat.

Jenso Button says its his talent and not his car that is taking him to the formula 1 title. He has to be commended. Not for winning but for keeping a straight face when he said that.

And Finally, Chelseas Didier Drogba was this week banned from four Champions League games, meaning the only appalling acting and Tuesday and Wednesday evenings can be seen on Hollyoaks..for those that don’t know its a British Teen Soap thing!

The Toni Report

“Im currently the 3rd team in my gameworld and my stadium avg attendance was 45k. But my winger (one of my best player) get injured for 4 days so i stop to play official games.”

Ive lost 10k avg attendance during this period
“Wenger says to Fergie..sorry we cant play this week...fabregas isnt felling well and adebeyor has a nose bleed..can we make it the week after??”

“oh yeh sure...dont worry..i hope they feel better soon and to be honest tevez and rooney have the flu anyway.”
hang on you stopped playing Official games during the injury periods....WHY?? thats the game surely...alot of people do this..doesnt make sense to me..if this was FM08/09 you couldnt do it...this annoys alot of people..

"oh im not playing any games until all my players are fit and my team is in form"
rubbish...buy more players for your squad.

“It depends if you think that fml is a real simulator of football managing or not. I think its only fantasy football, thats why i want to play when my team is full fit and not when my team cant play with all my better players.”

This was the amusing conversation i had with some chap on the forums this week..ive just realised im doing it all wrong...so in that case if ANY of my players get injured or loose form thats it im not playing *stamps feet*

Rubbish its a football management sim where its more true to life than you think...clubs are snapping up young kids on crazy wages...WHY?? well every other mug does so i might as well...36k for a 16 year old..is that too much? Well not really..but is 200k a week for a diving over paid pre-maddonna who goes down well in the box but hacks a mean freekick..well dam right it is...thats just bonkers! And is anyone really worth £80m?? Hmmmmm....no but its like buying a house...if someone wants to give you 200k for your 3 bed semi in suburbia then you take it don’t you! Its the old its only ever gonna be worth what people are prepared to pay...so 80m seems reasonable to me...Fergie can pick up a few players for that and maybe pay for the lads to have a night out? Remember the last time you did that fergie!
To the second week of a new season and SEFA is going well for its maden season, England are out of the 20-20 cricket and England u21 have coasted into the semi`s where no doubt they`ll be sent packing after missing a few penalties.
FML this week...The usual 40 suspects trudging away from around 8pm and all the dual account maniacs will be doing battle in the Pro world on Tuesday...will Swiss Toni be making an appearance there? Maybe-maybe not...am i losing the will to live? Not yet!

Toni

The Final Thought

You know strange as it may seem..even football ultimately isnt that important in life..it’s meant to be entertainment..same as FML..if it’s not then time to take a break..Get laid more it helps a lot!

Have a good week
Kev.

The Final Whistle 12-06-2009

2009-06-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle. The Dagger Blog of Blissett GW..12-06.2009

Is This week Sponsored by the IPHONE 3GS!! Why don’t they launch it just after i get one!(oh they did)

In this Weeks Limited Kebab edition-
The Dagger Report- Winds of change at the CCS Arena
The Lobbyists- A welcome return to the banter from the lobby
The Rags- Our usual top shelf look at the Press..it’s all `Real` you know!
The Toni Report- From the Boardroom at the Daggers Stadium..Toni`s thoughts on the world

The Dagger Report- With Ted Bovis..Hi-De-HI!

Swiss Toni and Jesse`s Love affair with Pardo and CO finally came to an end last Sunday afternoon as winds of change swept through the CCS arena as the old guard was wiped away and a steady airport moving walkway was installed and near on 40 brand new kids were ushered into the Holiday complex newly built near the Daggers Training complex..well i say complex..its more of a bit of grass with an old brick built changing room with shower where tramps piss and you can knock your boots off on those brush things attached to the walls and where the windows are slightly yellow with green mold on..nice tho. The start of the season loomed and these lads were itching to get on with developing into the best group of kids the world have ever seen....ive joined the managers who constantly scour the markets for that elusive 5 star player!! Although im sure all teams will gladly play the daggers kids at senior level...be afraid..the daggers kids are getting better! See you in a few seasons!! Ted.

The Lobbyists

The funny bits from the lobby this week!

Sam Worger says: (16:34:48) I can tell if there going to be a superstar when there in the womb!

Jim _: says: (16:35:41) Ah man my cat just put her foot in my coffee

Sam Worger says: (16:42:17) the wage auctions are like airports, you go in with your bag packed with great players, and when you arrive at the end BA have lost your baggage

Gary Harrison says: (16:45:02)I still can’t believe u don’t get square sausage in England....UN believable

Ross Allan says: (16:39:51)
A moderator said to me what part of don’t swear don’t you understand I said well would you believe me if I suffered from dyslexia

The Rags

A quick look at what’s happening in the world with our usual dip into the daily rags and blah!

This Week`s top 5..

Things to ask yourself before spending £80m on a footballer...
5.Tell me, why is the western world so hated?
4.Whats our motivation: the acquisition of a rare talent, or the thought of sir Alex Ferguson going absolutely mental?
3.Can he give the same qualities as he did at man utd: Grit gile and the ability to be a complete git
2.Have Denilson,Crespo,Veron and Shevchenko not taught us that big money signings do not always work?
1.From Fransico Franco to Ronaldo-What is it about real Madrid and deplorable right wingers

Ronaldo spent Wednesday night with Paris Hilton: OR as the union is now know, ORANGE Wednesday.

RONALDO AND PARIS? Well they are both well known for going down easily

He`s Sulky self obsessed and strangely orange. But like him or or not, Phill Brown did a great job keeping Hull in the top flight.

Congratulations to Bob Crow and the striking tube workers! Because in future when we think of selfish, overpaid greedy whinging tossers we wont be thinking of footballers..Nice one.

I belong to jesus! “KAKA once trilled. Has football not had enough 3rd party ownership?

THE FA`s descision to reimburse England ticket due to the tube strike could cost them £1m. To cover the amount David Beckham will belch into a hanky and sell on ebay.

And Well done to man city for summing the club up yesterday. “yeah, We`ll hold the Gareth Barry press conference on Thursday morning. Quite news day=loads of coverage. Oh hang on i hear theres a spot of news from Madrid!

England coach Fabio Capello looks utterly appalled by his team's start in Almaty and he is in lively form on the bench, even appearing to brush against Stuart Pearce at one point. Steady on, Fabio. He's not called Psycho for nothing.

The Toni Report

From the boardroom of the Daggers Utd CCS Arena we find Swiss Toni in thoughtful mood..thats not a word you normally associate with the Daggers Director of football!
In just a little over 3 hours time the Gameworld will shudder at the prospect of a 16year old Mexican going for i would say atleast 50k wages...crazy stuff, makes the 80m Ronaldo deal look almost sensible. So which lucky manager will have a 16 year old on mega bucks? We shall see at just after midnight tonight. Its not right really is it? Well no but theres not really much choice unless you want to while the night away trudging through senior game after senior game..just becomes pointless..theres only every gonna be a handfull of managers who ever get to that elusive no1 spot..but does it matter? No not really, its about the community spirit and banter in the lobby...who are we kidding eh! Its a football management sim which is so highly addictive its caused a melt down on people lives...its caused FML managers to have a faster typing speed than some of the best typist in the world! Its the 2nd biggest cause now of obesity in the world with more food consumed the the EU food mountain...even pot noodle sales are up! TO those managers who don’t login anymore? What can i say...have you got anything else better not to do? Well yes you probably have, but you can’t just help having a little peak to see if your fiancés allow you to purchase a 2m super youth! We know who you are! “I HATE THIS GAME AND IM RUBBISH AT IT” sure you are!

Have a good week...keep it real..

Kev.

The Final Whistle 05-06-2009

2009-06-05T13:13:00.000-07:00

The Dagger Blog, Blissett Gamworld Edition

The week sponsored by The Job Centre Plus.

The Dagger Report- Today will mostly be with Jesse the Coach
The Diccon Brown Column- Training Methods from the Legend himself!
The Rags-A look into the real world and the end of the season
The Toni Report- booted again!

The Dagger blog is back after last week’s break because of world cup fever hitting the GW..With Toni Flying out to Mexico to take charge of a The Mexicans and taking them to a creditble Semi Final spot..Losing to Poland...but they did manage to beat the Brazilians!

The Dagger Report

The end of another AEFA season saw Daggers UTD relegated back to the championship...but fear not because the Board of the Daggers has decided to take the whole shabang to a new FA..SEFA!! SUPER! WHY i hear you cry...our maybe you don’t mind the team wanted to play more human v human games and 60 games a season is so much better than 40.and with the completion of the 22,000 all seater stadium complete oh i lied theres still 1 block of terracing for nostalga purposes .it just never seemed 40 games is never going to be enough...it promises to be an exciting time for all SEFA teams..with 36 signed up to date and a weekend push to fill it up..It will be the most active FA that’s for sure...so don’t delay join SEFA today! Ud have thought they’d pay me for all the advertising wouldn’t you?

The Diccon Brown Column

This week’s training Methods.

This week, after some poor form, my team have been sent back to school.
Strikers are studying geography, they cant find the net, let's see if they can even find what country they're in.

Keepers are taking shop, they've been relying on the woodwork so much they may as well learn how to use it properly.

The midfield are supervising the playground so they can learn to break up play.
And the defence are driving the school bus, hopefully they can learn to park it.

The Rags

A quick look at what’s happening in the world with our usual dip into the daily rags and blah blah blah!

This Week`s top 5..
....Jobs Tony Adams thinks he can do next.

5. Pop on a dress, and hey presto you`ve got yourself a new fern britton!
4.Be the architect of Celtics celebrations next season and drive the open top bus
3.Cheif senator to her highness queen Estrada, ruler of Zoltan 5 of the alpha nebula
2.Do to expense-fiddling MP`s what he did to that brick wall in 1990
1. Manager a well-know competitive outfit..The Runcorn branch of Tesco

* Tony Adams says he`s in the running for the Celtic job. Yes, the Scottish giants are bored of the perennial two-horse race and fancy a relegation battle

* Steve Bruce had managed clubs based in Huddersfield, Sheffield, Croydon, Wigan and now Sunderland. Bruce either A) wants to climb the managerial ladder; or B) Shares the same booking agent as bobby davro

* Bruce said he want to take Sunderland forward. That either means a top ten finish, or hot running water for everyone.

* Big brother is back! A group of desperate wannabes are thrown together and expected to survive in harmony whilst providing entertainment, even though the nation knows it will end in tears and despair. Rumour has it Mike Ashley is looking to buy the rights

*Susan Boyle fell short of the final of Britains got Talent Last week. An eccentric Scot who lairises opinion, got a bit for their britches ,does like the media, and bottle it on the big stage. On the bright side she`s being lined up as the next manager of Man Utd.

* Roberto Martinez returns to wigan as manager. When he last played for the latics he was the most exotic thing to come to the area since the introduction of the inside toilet.

And finally..I was going to write a gag regarding Australian Cricketer Andrew Symonds but I don’t wanna upset Myron.

The Toni Report

Ah..the toni report, now how can we survive a week without some edgy comment from the king of controversy..its a tricky one. Last week Toni was hauled before the FA committee and stripped once again of his chat helper status...the ever controversial, hard hitting coach of Daggers Utd was described this week as “a blunt instrument”...nice! probably true but never one to shy a way from controversy..although he has found that the IGNORE manager button works a bloody treat..i wonder how many use it on him...does he really care? Not really..its only a game! With the announcement this week of 3 more gameworld`s on route and one of them being a pro-world...will you be leaving? I hope not..many of us remember the Tom`s fiasco.. One final thought for anyone who is going to join the new pro world - GOOD LUCK! At first it may seem like a great idea to go and join 999 other pro-managers however I imagine the reality will be anything but. It will be worse than Toms ever was; a world jammed full of short-term thinking, glory hunting hoppers. JP will be abundant and prices will be astronomical from the start. It will be carnage. Granted there might be the odd exception but I'll bet a pound to a penny that this new gameworld will be an unqualified disaster, full of bitching and endless moaning and problems.

See you all in SEFA for some human on human fun!
Have a good one..
Kev.

The Final Whistle 22.5.2009

2009-05-22T13:16:00.001-07:00

The Dagger Blog, Blissett Gamworld Edition

The week sponsored by mostly being a chat helper
In this weeks end of the Premiership Season edition!
The Dagger Report- With NEW COACH! Jesse! Who will be mostly training players better than Toni!
The Diccon Brown Column- Training Methods from the Legend himself
The Rags-A look into the real world and the end of the season
Sex or Football? Read on!
The Toni Report- is anybody there?

The Dagger Report

After 25 games in charge of the Daggers in the AEFA premiership, Swiss Toni has been moved to the Board Room and Jesse has been put in tempary charge of Team affairs that’s unless he has to have heart bypass surgery and we have to get someone from match of the day in to give it a go. It all started so well..some promising performances have turned into a shocking run of results. The daggers are now predicted to finish 3rd bottom and yo-yo back to the championship. It might be good for them some say, but playing this game is all about winning isn’t it? There’s player unrest in the Daggers Dressing Room and Loss of form to key players..The normal Solid Defence is leaking more than member of parliaments expenses sheet and Pardo just can’t score! With the Sale of the entire youth academy to a Columbian drug cartel in exchange for some Columbian footballers who each came with there own suitcases full of Columbian coffee beans, the Cartel was set up as part of the youth acadamey...looks a bit dodgy to me! But i just train them..and keep them away from white lines says jesse...who this week will mainly be overseeing our return to the championship!

The Diccon Brown Column
This week my team have been learning some of the lesser celebrated aspects of the fine game. Strikers have been at the local diving pool, scoring bonus points for distance and number of tumbles in the air, girly shrieks was also encouraged. The defenders sent on computer courses to learn hacking. Keepers sent to church to get used to putting their hands together in front of a higher power so they can imply the striker, both of whose legs are still in the arms of the keeper, must have dived. And the Midfield have been sent to minder school so they know how to gather round one person looking intimidating for any time a ref might make a "wrong" decision.

The Rags

A quick look at what’s happening in the world with our usual dip into the daily rags and blah!

This Week`s top 5..from The premierships beleaguered French manager
Signs Arsene Wenger is losing interest at Arsenal,
5.Out: Frantic mimes From the Dugout. IN:The Macarena
4.Begins every team talk with a weary “ive never like you f***ckers!”
3.”What should we eat before matchdays gaffer? “Vienetta and chips, knock yerselfs out!”
2. “This match should be interesting considering i soacked all your jock straps in a vat of Raljex”
1.”ZUT alors! First i loose my tactics sheet now i loose my trousers!

But worse news this week for arsenal fans this week, Wenger could be off which could me yet another manager coming in and leading them to no trophy`s next season.
Burnley went on a four day trip to Portugal this week, to give them a chance to relax and unwind and to see what an aero-plane looks like close up!

The Clarets are relishing the playoff final and a chance to come to London. Or as their fans call is the big scary place where the queen lives

Cricket news now and Shoiab Akhtar is out of the 20-20 world cup due to “genital warts”.Pakistan will have an injury to deal with when he finds the person who leaked the news and punches him in the mouth.

Andrew Symonds has been dropped by Australlia for the Ashes Tour. But given he once missed training to go fishing, punched a man and admitted to ogling a team mates wife, Symonds will be celebrated in his homeland on a series of stamps.

The Ashes squad was picked by Merv hughes and David Boon. The only way they could get more Australlian is if they changed there official badge to a picture of Lou Carpenter severely beating Dame Edna with a didgeridoo

The last dance of the drowning clubs will be on show this weekend, with some hoping to continue their waltz in the top flight.

Hull City have a dodgy fixture as they host a club that has already won the Premier League, and is looking at adding another trophy to their long list of laurels. Sir Alex may choose to field a second string line-up in order to give some of his important players a rest before the final of the Champions League. This could prompt the Tigers to produce a confident performance, which may see them survive in the relegation battle.

There will be a heated game at Villa Park, where Newcastle will walk onto the pitch knowing that they will be playing one of the biggest games in the history of their club. Anything less than a win will see them playing in the Football League next season. However, even a win may not steady the Toon, since their fate depends on the results of Hull City, and Sunderland. Either one of the aforementioned teams would have to drop points if the roar has to reach Tyneside.

Elsewhere, Middlesbrough are mathematically out of contention, but a queer turn of events could see them avoiding the axe. But it appears highly unlikely that the tide will turn in their favour. Irrespective of their bleak chances, the team will want to put out a strong performance as they go out with their heads held high, or survive in style.

Footy or sex?

New research out today shows that over half of UK men think about football for 10 per cent of the day. The research, carried out by Sports Interactive and SEGA, creators and publishers of Football Manager Live, found almost two thirds (58 per cent) of men think about the beautiful game for more than an hour a day, with just 44 per cent thinking about sex for more than an hour. To aid focus while fantasising about footy, the creators of Football Manager Live have developed a unique 'Concentration Gum', which is available to subscribers of Football Manager Live, the new Massively Multiplayer Online Game from the creators of the Football Manager series. Miles Jacobson, Studio Director of Sports Interactive, said: "Traditionally it is well-documented that men think about sex all the time, but this research proves that men are more obsessed with the beautiful game than they are with the fairer sex. Some top football managers chew gum while concentrating on a big game - and if it works for Sir Alex Ferguson then it's good enough for us!"

The Toni Report

What is up with Blissett then...with no more than 40-60 managers on this world isn’t looking good is it? Why? Im not sure..it looked so bright at the start of the season when 40 odd new managers joined us...although this actually isn’t that good when you consider 85 new managers joined greaves in there pre-season. HMMM! There was a report on the FML website about the state of the economies in FML and Blissett has the worst. I think the biggest problem is that there are a crop of manager who seem to think there Steve Gibson, Nice Stadium steve..shit team..or nice Stadium, the team i really cant be bothered with. Then theres the crop of managers who seem intent on giving 15-16 yr old kids 20k wages! WHY! Your ruining our world, the kids are running riot, there buying fast sports cars and prostitutes they cant drive and there shooting isn’t good enough yet..20k wages! Ur mad!! Theres no answer to it as each to there own...The Dagger Board have spent 1.4m on the stadium trying to keep up...but alas my 1.4m wasn’t good enough...ooooh well is that all?? i spent 3.4m on mine just 5 mins ago...well good for you you mug, its a football management game..its not sim city! Go get urself a WII and a bag of wotsits and some good porno`s, i don’t really care!

To life in the championship once again..I hope the World doesn’t die and we have a spark of inspirtation from somewhere..you never know some mods might admit there wrong sometimes, maybe marriage will mellow them...listen to your community...cos if you don’t..there will be some big rubber hand waving as we close the door behind us, lets just hope they don’t open a new semi or pro gameworld as i think there will be a rush to the transfer button

Have a good one..
Kev.

The Final Whitle-Blissett Gw Edition 15.6.2009

2009-05-15T13:07:00.000-07:00

The Dagger Blog. Blissett Gameworld Edition 15/06/2009

Is this week proudly sponsored by Ally Dale (pure inspiration)Fragrance for Men?

In this week’s handy email sized Edition..

Life in the Prem...1st Team coach Swiss Toni and his first week`s report from the AEFA Prem
The Diccon Brown Column...Diccons guide to training methods
TV favourites....can you watch TV and play FML at the same time?
The Real World...Our usual dip into the freebies and online Forums..
The Toni Report...A Swiss eyed view at the Gameworld and what the state of play is

Life in the Prem

We managed to grab a minute with Daggers Utd first team coach Swiss Toni...”The first game of the season we suffered out first defeat and to be honest more than expected to the Morose Maruaders..but with a respectable 3-2 scorline..things didn’t look so bad..perticular pleasure came in the next 4 games...2 draws to Ben Hibberts Dynamos and a 2 wins against the much fancied Norfolk N Chance gave the daggers dressing room a glimmer of hope for the rest of the season...However with 2 defeats against Korsten and Buckfast the reality of premiership life had hit us.perticularly the next 4 games produced no wins although 2 draws against the Grizzlies and Pumas..the spirit was lifted....Next came BHA..Rikki Hawkins had rememeber which team to log in under and 2 defeats were again registered on the league table for the daggers, with a further Defeat against Puma`s it looks like its going to be a hard struggle from here on in. The youth side were fairing well with a couple of top class loans in from the Dublin Hearts we were doing well..amusingly because of an administrative cock up with the AEFA organisation the Daggers Board have decide to cash in on the youth wages and just Loan em in for the rest of the campaign!! Its like a branch of blockbusters in the dressing room when the youth have a game! I keep having to scan people membership cards and give them free bottles of coke and bags of revels!

The Diccon Brown Column
This weeks training Methods..

I gave the boys a week off for some team building exercises
Keepers went paintballing... or rather were tied up as the practice target dummies to help them get used to stopping shots. The defence were taken to see how castrato singers get their dulcet tones... they're now a lot more concerned about their tackles. Strikers had a stint as deep sea trawler men to help them find the net. Wingers took a week in intensive labour camps to help them learn about an end product. And the midfield were enlisted and sent to a war zone... one way or another I'll have midfield generals.

They're all now VERY keen to get back to training as normal

TV favourites....can you watch TV and play FML at the same time?

It occurred to me today that i sit playing FML in front of me and the TV is always on...so what is your top ten background TV programmes...i say background cos u don’t really watch them properly do you?
In no Particular order heres what normally on for me...

Top Gear on Dave or Dave Ja Vu...that’s witty isn’t it..genius
Mock the Week on Dave
Dragons Den on Dave
MOTD on BBC
MOTD on BBC 2
Casualty on BBC (the Mrs. has control here)
CSI on LIVING +1+2 or Channel 5
Only fools and Horses on Gold or +1
The Vicar of Dibley on Gold or +1
MASH on Comedy Central

Couldn’t think of a 10th...so its down to the flick through of all channels on the virgin box..stopping at Sons of Arnorchy, Have i Got news for you, Buzzcocks, The A-Team..and if im really desperate for some background TV sounds..setanta or skysports news, CNN or BBC news..

Or heres an IDEA...just turn the bloody thing off Cos your not REALLY watching it are you?? I’m sure I should really be out with the lads, down the pub, but hang on I’ve done all that for the last 20 years and besides i can always chat to them on MSN or they text me endless jokes about swine flu.. so now its come to this...with my 19th month old daughter safely tucked up in her sleepsuit kicking nine bells out of the bars on the COT..i can finnaly have some piece and quite..AHHHH. well almost cos the TV is on don’t forget!

The Real World
This week we look around the Forums and the bits of the freebies that are actually quite funny and topical!
When FML has taken over and that I can’t bring myself to play FM09 anymore..

Always been a complete addict to FM games, but FML just blows it to bits, every minute I was playing FM09 I felt like I was wasting good time that could be spent on FML. For a while I was playing both at the same time, but that just made me feel like I wasn’t paying enough attention to FML!!!!

Football manager is like your long term girlfriend that you were comfortable with and FML is like her bigger chested, smutty supermodel sister in law who started popping round to take you dogging when your long term girlfriend was at the gym etc

Although for comfort and nostalgia reasons you still hang out with your old girl friend every now and then but its not the same, the supermodel has you 100% under her thumb!

Thanks SI, you managed to quench one obsession whilst getting me hooked on something even more addictive!

INTERSTING...A New FA on the horizon?
The White Van Man FA (TWVM)

Monday to Thursday 6pm-10pm as he works 9-5

Friday no times as he’s off down the pub with his mates

Saturday 9am-12pm- bit of FML before he sets off to the pub before the match

Sunday 12pm-10pm what better way is there to spend a Sunday other then FML while watching footy on the box?

Our Top 5 this week comes from the Free London Paper...not the dodgy Lite one tho!
THINGS YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR FROM A FOOTBALLER

5” Of course i`ll sign your autograph, Junior. In exchange for your hot, Slutty looking mum`s phone number!
4.”Failed the breathalyser? HA! Well, thank god this isn’t a drugs test!
3.”Wait till they find out we`ve been claiming expenses!
2.The fans, the chairman, this clubs proud history. These are 3 things i ignored most when signing. I came for the cash!
1.”im on thousands a week.I don’t Train. I miss every other game. Tell me, why do the public not like us?

With Man Utd 1 point from the Title,Sir Alex has warned against complacentcy. HE began an impromptu conga, popped open a bottle of champagne, clapped his hands and chanted “easy,easy,easy”

Paul Gascoigne will be appearing on the next series of im a celebrity get me out of here. He`ll have to live rough,sleep outdoors and eat insects. It`ll be just like 2008 for him!

Harry Redknapp has banned booze at spurs after Ledley King staggered out of a nightclub.” You shouldn’t put diesel in a Ferrari, or in Kings case an Austin Allegro with a wonky tyre. "You've only got to go abroad in the summer to certain parts of the world, you see drunken kids laying around, acting like maniacs, causing problems and it's a problem we've had in this country for years now," added Redknapp.
King Himself took 2 steps forward and 8 steps back, 3 forward, eight back and six forward. Its not clear wether he was drunk, or trying to interpret Spurs recent history through the medium of dance

And finally this week Chelsea`s Ashley cole is sick on a hairdresser, Ledley King staggers from a nightclub and ends up weating his pants in a police cell , Arsenal Nicklas bendtner is caught with his jeans round his knees. The Pressure must be mounting on Fulham and West Ham to do something TRULY remarkable!

The Toni Report (sponsored by www.blissett.org)
Another week is over in FML and its business as usual really, the rantings from newbie’s about not having there cups started and that no bugger is on to play..there’s 450 million managers on in Shearer gw..well i know what would do then pal!! Only kidding...just take it easy! Join the fun in the lobby...tune in at 12:11 for a usual insite into everyone’s finances..oh look at me ive got a massive daily profit and your all shit!! Well thanks that`ll make me sleep easy now you sad people! Why do we play this game? Because we are all aspiring Football managers? Is it in the bloody that most Male Uk inhabaties just have to have some kind of football shoot up every day? Well it beat`s crack cocaine any day...apparently...and then theres the managers that comes on now and again just to check if his/her`s bank account has been boosted enough to be bothered to play at all, ah don’t worry i`ll be back in a couple of seasons by which time i`ll have 5-6 million in the bank and you can all sod off cos im going to be be the best...or there’s the manager who just hates the game! Did we force you to sign in tonight? No...its the drugs!! Get me to rehab!!

That’s it..have a good second week of Season 5 and rememeber...think of the environment...do you really need the TV on?
Kev Flack (Swiss Chat helper Toni)

The Final Whitle-Blissett Gw Edition 8.5.2009

2009-05-08T13:48:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle-The Dagger Blog Edition 8/5/2009
Is this week written in the Memory of Marcus Berg.
In this weeks Pre-Season edition:
Playoff Fever hits the daggers- The Swiss Toni Report-A step closer to the Promised Land!
Blissett Game world in hijack of Laudrup- Exclusive recruiting scandal!
The Diccon Brown comment-Musings from the legend that is
Childcatcher joins Blisett- New manager in youth poach exculsive
The Red tops- This Weeks look around the real world...get out more!!
Blog Exclusive-Muppets intimidate Ref shocker!

Playoff Fever hits the daggers- The Swiss Toni Report

The pressure is on now after a terrible run in the last 12 games resulted in 5 draws in a row a couple of out of character defeats and ending in 2 wins..but the daggers found themselves in the playoffs. Swiss Toni has been hard at work on the training pitch this week and after a bust up with Swedish Striker Marcus Berg...Berg was sold in a swap deal with Ally`s superstars for the impressive Marcos Aurelio...who scored an good 10 in 15 during this pre-season week. The playoffs loomed and the tension mounted as 7 managers came to watch the first of the games v Shaun Wrays mighty bob the badger with the much underated aliadiere leading the line...the first game was a great 2-2 draw..with a last gasp goal from the badgers...the 2nd game of the 3 team league saw another tight affair but with new signing Aurelio thrown on at HT in place of the tired looking Felippe Pardo..a winner late on sent the daggers faithfull into a pitch invasion where im sorry to report several were arrested for trying to take the turf so they could drop it off at Wembley from the final!

Childcatcher joins Blisett

In an exclusive interview with new manager “Morris Day” or is it Leigh eccletsone? We go undercover to see what our new manager has been up to with his big child catcher net..”I forgot to confirm my squad after the first 24 hours of me being in the Game world then just after midnight I went poaching..night fishing is the best you know...and poached myself some potentially good youths..and as i could sign them all on my initial squad...happy days!” Morris left the interview waving 2 fingers at me as he left...what a guy!
Morris Day: says: (10:07:19) “yeah, cos clearly with the 500k starting millions, the ability to sign regens at midnight should be missed.”
Morris Day: says: (10:07:37) “i took one player from one day, one player - then the rest last night and confirmed
Morris Day says: (10:07:52)my initial pick all expired cos i forgot to confirm - the hardship for you all.

Mexican Manager of the XFA premier league was not available to comment on the controversy which he uncovered in the early hours...i wonder if i can get him to find out how many teams ricki Hawkins has in the gameworld...hmmm!

Blisett Gameworld in hijack of Laudrup

We welcomed 26 new managers to the world this week after an intense advertising campaign on the SI forums...even hijacked the Laudrup game world advertisement...I’m amazed Swiss Toni wasn’t beaten up for it! Still we now have some great new managers in!!

The Diccon Brown Column
Signs you have been playing FML too much!
Diccon "something amusing here" Brown: says: (20:30:27)
gah I have the game on normal speed because they other guy go logged off and giving him a chance to get back but I think my eyes might be bleeding now... can anyone tell me... is my team kit bright red?

Training Tips

Diccon "something amusing here" Brown: says: (20:50:21) I have new training methods for my keeper
Diccon "something amusing here" Brown says: (20:51:28) he stands on the ground floor... I go to the second then drop his ipod, then tv... then family... see if his handling improves
I believe in darwinian training
anyone who survives can play
Diccon "something amusing here" Brown: > says: (20:53:14)
after all I only need 11
Diccon "something amusing here" Brown says: (20:53:34)
It's like takeshi's castle but more painful

So there we have it...forget ya delusion dallagio seats...get yourself a tower block for your training ground!
The Red tops
The top five this week is...Things overheard on the way home from Chelea v Barcelona
5.” Well look on the bright side, Billy. You can tell all your pals at school you were there on the night that `doing a Didier!` passed into the vernacular!”
4. “Drogbas set a bad example to the kids . Not with the tantrums..more the constant choking in front of goal.
3. I think the big winner this week was Joanna Lumley. Am i right guys? Guys? Anyone?
2. Didier should know by now that only Andy Gray gets to shout irritating gibberish Live on sky!
1.”its the night that keeps on giving-I now have to tell the mrs were not getting married in ROME!

Following on from the Doing a Didier, John Terry said controversial referee Tom Henning Ovrebo should face the consequences! Ah theres nothing quite like a member of the Terry family wanting to lay down the law

Incidently Ovrebo has been hidden away where nobody can find him. He`s been given his own chat show on ITV 2!

The players also went clubbing after the game, where the DJ was asked to play Barcelona by Freddie mercury. But they didn’t need reminding of someone who could deliver on the big stage!

Niclas Bendtner was thrown out of the boujis nighclub this week with his jeans round his thighs,having actually played well for Arsenal. He explained “i missed the liberating feeling of being embarrassingly exposed in public!

Muppets intimidate Ref shocker!

have a word with your players... as bad as chelsea for ref intimidation. Marcus Vinícius Belo's Goal:match clip#499701655> See link in GW email for view of the goal! And you think drogba was bad!! This referee has got ARMY protection from the Ghurkas!

So what have we all learnt from playing FML for 4 seasons now..I believe SI should be held accountable for Dave`s Increased viewing Figures, the Obesity rating from eating bags of cheesy puffs, youghurts, Kebab Flavour pot noodles and also for the Divorce rate going up, mainly due to the increased cranking up the grill for a late night snack and waking the whole house up...and also for the increased rate of sick days....not to mention the getting rid of the sqeeky seat tilt control on your computer chair because of the extra weight it is carrying...I think the game has gone to far when people send emails out like this...makes you well up for the lad..

Hey everyone,
This has been a great experience for me. Starting late into the game, I remember looking at all the top managers thinking how great it would be to have such a world class team. It all started with a few lucky signings, where i would see myself slowly climbing the ladder of success. I honestly dont see myself as a great manager, or even a tactical genious, but rather a manager, whom has gained his success by getting to make many friends, whom have guided me with their words of wisdom and infinate thoughts. At first i thought this was just a game, but for some reason, it started growing into me, becoming sort of an addiction. I would sit and think of new tactics, and slowly analyze how it went wrong during this and that game. Finally, i was able to make a team, which in my opinion " cant get better" and from there, we became number one on the world.. I thought by then, it would be the greatest feeling, but when i got there, i realized that the friendships i have gained are actually the greatest asset of my fml experience. I will not list names, as the list of managers goes on and on, and im sure most of them know who they are. I thank everyone for this great time, and i assure u, i shall be back soon. Im thinking a good 2 months will get me rested and eager to climb the ladder once again. I wish everyone the best in life, and hope that i have not offended anyone throughout my time here. I would also like to thank the moderators and all those whom have kept this game a fair one for everyone. Yes we have had our issues, but nonethless i know deep inside, all the moderators here were only trying to do good... Once again, thank you everyone.. and good luck..
Best regards,

My life...this guy needs to goto rehab...its a game!! Why has it got to this? Well the community and banter and chatting from the safety of your squeek free computer chair is probably one of the reasons....When i eventually return to work in the next few weeks i can safely say i wont be on here as much...but none the less...FML wont be un-installed just yet...surely it can only get better...they might even fix the AI fiasco and the ridiculously good uber player like Aguerro...its just not natural for someone to score 460 odd goals in as many games....just not realistic..nor is it realistic to score in the 95th minute of every game you loose!
Have a great Season 5! Catch u in the AEFA chat or maybe the lobby..

Kev `Swiss Toni` Flack

http://thedaggers.blogspot.com
COMING SOON! THE BLISETT OFICIAL NEWSPAPER!!! DONT FORGET TO VOTE FOR THE NAME!

2009-05-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle- Daggers Blog Edition 1.05.2009

This week is sponsored by a Muller Peach Yogurt

In this Weeks Bank Holiday Blog...

The Dagger Report....Live from the Managers office, With First Team Coach.Swiss Toni
The Diccon Brown Column...This week on 5 Reasons not to play FML with a Hangover
The Lobby Pullout...Live Ranting from the Blisett lobby now in a handy pullout section
The Great AI Scandal.. A view on the state of the Worlds on Artificial Gaming and what is an MMO?
The Tabloids...Our Weekly look at the world of real life sport
Blisett opens to the World on the 4th? This week our look at why you should get your mates to give up the social lives and wives, girlfriends, mates, companions, your Xbox, PS3 and any other game you have sitting on your shelf still cling wrapped.

The Dagger Report
First we head over to The Daggers Utd coaching centre to catch up with First Team coach Swiss Toni..”After last week the league table was looking grim for the daggers push for promotion but the sun was shining as the bags of balls were wacked round the training pitch and cones were dribbled round and the changing rooms were given a quick going over with a Tin of Dulux matt emulsion...and to our 7 game in the league this week ALL against AI which was a worry as our history againt the mighty AI machine of FML was not a pretty one....but non the less 7 played, 5 wins and 2 draws catapulted the daggers to 6th in the AEFA Div 1, with 2 teams above us on the borderline AI penalties a return to the top flight of the AEFA Federation is look good...with 15 goals in the bag things are looking good and with Pardo out inj for the majority of the last 7 games, Berg, Lombardi and Brahimi have take over goal scoring responsibilities to great effect...seems strange that Berg has been scoring since Pardo was injured...must be a 40k guilt thing!! So with the end of season approaching and only to play Brusdals who are currently top of the big clubs all is looking good particularly as the Dublin hearts dropped points this morning but followed up with a Fine 5-0 thrashing of favourites WKS....my tips for promotion are..The Daggers, Dublin Hearts, Bayern Munich, Blantyre and the outsiders Buckfast Bandits on the AI rule...” Thanks Toni for that insight into the toils of the AEFA D1...or is that toilet? I don’t know!

The Diccon Brown Column
5 reasons not to play with a hangover
Diccon "Chopper" Brown says: (21:26:28)
5: you don't care that auto select has put your star striker in goal
4: you're two nil down and too apathetic to even contemplate looking at the tactics screen
3: your head hurts
2: Everything that goes wrong only increases you’re already foul mood and the general feeling that the world has it in for you... and your head hurts
1: 5 injuries later you're still not making changes because the flashing lights as you switch between pages hurt your head... and your head hurts a lot.
Diccon Brown says: (15:56:18)
I have to say... I really couldn't be clever

Extra Pullout Special...How not to sell your player...or maybe..just maybe..anyway found this on a tour of another gameworld!

KEv "Swiss Toni Flack: says: (15:13:16)

“Rod Fanni for sale Great all round right back buy him for his skill buy him for his talent buy him for his name buy him purely because you would love your daughter to lose her virginity to him he is Rod FANNI. A great right back great stats, can also play centre back. He is 30 but still has 4 green arrows. Relatively cheap wage! Auction starts today at market value!”
Or failing that kind of advert...why not just use this one...always a winner..your players is mates of someone famous..
“Taking offers for this TOP CLASS forward, friend of Samuel Eto”!
The Lobby Pullout
Away from your keyboard too long ? Need some new youth players? Or what do you reckon to this swine flu pandemic?
Andrew Hunter says: (19:03:36)
It’s me who needs money, that tom guy keeps tempting me with nice youths
Brad: says: (12:43:08)What exactly is the problem, I was eating pie so was afk..
Jim Hamilton says: (22:59:09)
'life getting you down? try new JML Swine Flu!'.
So apparently this week....AFK means I’m away from keyboard eating a pie, Andrew hunter is being tempted by tom weir with some nice youths (someone call the police!)...and Jim Hamilton is convinced JML are now selling strains of Swine flu...lovely!

The GREAT AI SCANDAL!
Is it a scandal or is the lure of spending hours playing a Football management game beginning to ware off? When our merry band of beta testers started out on this road trip many months ago..we couldn’t be AFK without so much as grabbing a quick pukka from the fridge our sitting up till midnight waiting for your ranking to change and see how much your finances had been pumped up..but! Is the novelty waring off? I think it is for some I’m sad to say, its just not fun anymore i ve seen people say..Which brings me to the point...what is an MMO...heres the Web definition..` A massively multiplayer online game. A computer game in which a large number of players can simultaneously interact in a persistent world`..well this isn’t really happening is it...its not so many human v human games at the moment..its the AI situation that is really beginning to grind...so much so that our resident lobby ranter earned himself a bit of a kickin this week..SO whats the answer?? Maybe more official tournaments...shorten the off season maybe by a few days? Theres only so many friendlies tournaments you can play...maybe every 2 seasons hold a World cup during the off season? The community i think plays a massive role in these kind of games...just playing a football management sim just isn’t enough..being able to out witt human opponents online in a controlled environment...its the future isn’t it? Or is it playing fm09 over your laggy netgear network is the answer where you’re continually asking your buddies to HURRY UP!! So for now we`ll stick with the MMO then! I think the introduction of the much hyped 1.2 patch will make a huge difference..so stick in there! Its a great game even if it does get to you sometimes.. but never forget it’s only a game and you really really need to give the grass a cut!
The Tabloids – some humour from around the world of real sport!
You gotta love our top premiership managers..although there no a patch on there FML counterparts..are they?
Sir Alex Ferguson banters with the press ahead of United's Champions League semi-final with Arsenal.
"I thought he was coming to watch Middlesbrough - or maybe because we have good red wine in the directors' box."
Arsene Wenger on learning Sir Alex attended Arsenal's win over Middlesbrough on Sunday. United play Boro at the weekend.

"He is supposed to be our best ref, but if he's the best, I'd hate to see the worst."
Spurs boss Harry Redknapp after Howard Webb's dubious penalty award to Manchester United saw the champions turn a two-goal deficit into a 5-2 victory.

"If I'm given £6m to spend like I was last time, which included transfer fees, wages, signing on fees and agents' fees, then we'll all be in trouble.''
Wolves manager Mick McCarthy gets his excuses in early after recalling his last venture into the top flight with Sunderland.

"I want to help other clubs. I speak my mind and other chairmen should too. In fact, they can come and have lunch with me at Harrods, where I can serve them stags' testicles from my Scottish estate. We all need big balls in this business.''
Al Fayed presents his fellow-chairmen with an offer they can't refuse.
"If I wasn't up for challenges I'd be out walking my dogs today. I think my dogs need a break.''
Roy Keane reveals the real reason he returned to management with Ipswich.

"Our biggest mistake was turning up."
Sunderland manager Ricky Sbragia after watching his side capitulate to West Brom.

Five Live...there funny people aren’t they!

Alan Green: "Fair play..26 miles!!..I couldn't run 100 yards!"
Lawro: "You could if there was a buffet at the end of it."

In other news...

As swine fever sweeps the globe,i bet Sven Goran Eriksson is a relieved man, not for his tactical genius but his timing on leaving mexico!

The Symptons of swine flu are grim: not being yourself, you look jaded, you choke horribly..oh no wait thats lionel messi!

Graeme Souness ,Ruud Gulitt, and Glen hoddle were the former managers telling fergie and wenger what they should have done on sky during the champions league semi..Next week Jon Barrowman, Gok Wan and boy George give there tips on wooing the ladies!

Stephen Hendry says the buzz of recording a 147 this week cost him his place in the last 4. Fans knew he was delirous when he went from a state of “soporifically lifeless” to “Torpidly bland”

Finally this week...Get your mates into Blisett...you know it makes sense!

4 Seasons ago / A crack set of Football Teams were sent to a bad FML GAMEWORLD by a military court for a foul they didn't commit.

These Teams promptly escaped from a maximum security GAMWORLD to join Blisett. Today, still wanted by the support team at SI headquarters, they survive as Football managers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can join .. BLISETT!!

Starring your Mods :- Marcus the Hannibal Cain, Glen "Howling Mad Murdock" Fyrth -, Deano `The Faceman` Philpin, Rich `the crazy fool` Gibson, Super Sheff and introducing Andreas Timmelstad as the man with a tool for every occasion..

Come join Blisett...with many Gameworld benefits..
http://community.sigames.com/showthread.php?t=121486 for full member benefits!

To another fun filled week in The Blissett gameworld, will we see that much needed influx of new managers, will we set yet more de-activated accounts?? ( i hope not) will we see another Rant from our resident ranter? Hope so...he`s always game for a laugh..its D-Week for the Daggers both in real life and FML..one vying for that elusive playoff spot in League 2 and there FML counterparts aiming for the Premiership...Will Pardo and Berg fire us into the promised land?
In next weeks issues...A full report of who one what in Blisett...Have you voted for the Community manager of the year award yet?? No? Well ok you know what to do!!
Have a good one
Kev Flack.

The Final Whistle 24-04-2009

2009-04-24T13:56:00.003-07:00

The Final Whistle- Daggers Blog Edition 24.04.2009 http://thedaggers.blogspot.com/

And is sponsored by a 1 Ltr Bottle of Irn Bru

The weeks handy size pullout includes:

Swiss Toni`s Daggers report- First week back in the job-Pardo dropped exclusive

Training Trips with Diccon Brown- The hard man of trainings' top tips for keeping your players keen

Our Weekly Fashion tips- With our resident kings of fashion

Blisett get all sophisticated- Wine connoisseurs Andreas & Rich live from the lobby with comment from Sam Worger

PLUS our usual dip into the Real world with once again our featured paper- The Londoner

The Dagger Report

First we head over to the Daggers Training pitch this week to speak to First Team Coach Swiss Toni. I had to drop Pardo this week...we were on a 14 match losing streak and with Berg on the bench counting his 40k a week it was time to get him on the pitch. With our First AEFA D1 match of this week against a tough bob the badger line-up the daggers were back in form with a cracking 4-1 win, followed by a respectable 1-1 draw with the brudsals magicians. This was followed by back to back game against the jelly babies, honours even a 1-0 win at home and a 2-0 defeat away which was followed by another 1-0 defeat at the hands of Bayern munich. The League campaign was back into it stride with a 1-0 win against Ventotene FC before 1-1 draw and a 1-0 defeat finished this week's AEFA D1 for the daggers, we are currently sitting 2nd in the League after 2 cracking wins over Elmo live posting 7 goals in to games against the lacklustre Jon Harrod`s Live team. But having played many more games than the rest, mid-table safety looks like being on the cards for the daggers...maybe a cup run will lift the spirits on the Training pitch this next week after an Aggregate win to reach round 3 of the NON prem cup! SO Toni`s first week back....bit of a mixed bag really...heres a tip...don't keep changing ur tactics!!!

Training Tips with our resident king of the dodge ball..Diccon Brown

"Motivational team talks-always a winner"

Diccon Brown says: (22:43:14)

Yep, doing the Bull Run... the players that are left can start

"How to pick your starting 11"

Diccon Brown says: (22:44:10)

Any player that can dribble a ball through London without being forced to take a leaflet or free paper can start too.

Conditioning in the gym..not for Diccon`s lads..

Diccon "Chopper" Brown says: (22:14:39)

yep... can' afford footballs... I make them kick bricks

Our Weekly Fashion tips- With our resident kings of fashion

Richard now wielding his hammer...these tips were from his ORG days..

Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (21:02:01)

Leather jackets from Burton with built in hoodies, gives you that Justin Timberlake look

Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (21:02:33)

Colchester United shirts are in fashion, if only to annoy Glen

Brad was not in agreement with Rich`s tips this week and gave his youthful thoughts on the current teen fashion seen..

Brad :says: (13:46:00)

Woolen cardigan and colour-worn jeans from Burton give you the REAL Timberlake look

Brad . says: (13:46:27)

Throw in a waistcoat and you'll have Miss. Charlize theron jumping on you

Brad . says: (13:48:58)

Seriously though, Rich clearly doesn't know his Timberlake's from his Wesley snipes. Celebrity fashion is an ever-evolving medium

Yeh well thanks for that guys i`ll stick with my K-swiss trainers and combat`s...i think im getting old..do they still do farrah`s?

The Blisett Game went all wine bar on us this week. mind you don't fall through the bar lads..

Wine connoisseurs Andreas & Rich live from the lobby with comment from Sam Worger and other renound wine critics from the World...Stephen Brakin and Terry Morgan

Richard Gibson says: (19:27:24) Oyster Bay - its a New Zealand White

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad says: (19:29:32)white wine is for old ladies rich...

Richard Gibson: (19:30:51)I like red but I've found you have to spend considerably more to find a nice red compared to white

Stephen "AEFA Bhoy" Brankin says: (19:31:56)Lurgan is great for it!

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad:: (19:32:00)I like chilean and south african, merlot, pinot noir.. Those are good this year

Stephen "AEFA Bhoy" Brankin: (19:32:08)we have buckfast in almost every bar!

Richard Gibson: (19:32:08)I found a 2005 Paulinsberg Reisling , German wine that is fanastic, its about £12 a bottle

Richard Gibson says: (19:32:17) and its white

Terry "PFA Org" Morgan (19:32:17)i like Italian reds myself, lighter and easier to drink

Richard Gibson: (19:32:21) and so smooth

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:32:24) I Like them HEAVY

Paul "EEFA org" Walker says: (19:32:25)

we have it on almost every street , lol

Sam Worger says: (19:32:35)i lyk dr pepper, can get it bout £1 a bottle

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:32:46)rioja... mmm

Richard Gibson: says: (19:32:57)Terry, I am yet to find a Red that I REALLY enjoy

Stephen "AEFA Bhoy" Brankin: says: (19:33:00)we have it on the street (broken empties mostly) in every off licence! & on the optics of all bar one bar!

Richard Gibson: says: (19:33:09)There are quite a few nice ones but none that have truly made me go wow thats nice

Terry "PFA Org" Morgan: (19:33:14)I know what you mean, Rich. I have to be the mood for red

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:33:31)well if you like Riesling then I can see where the problem is Rich

Richard Gibson: says: (19:33:09)There are quite a few nice ones but none that have truly made me go wow thats nice

Terry "PFA Org" Morgan: (19:33:14)I know what you mean, Rich. I have to be the mood for red

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:33:31)well if you like Riesling then I can see where the problem is Rich

Richard Gibson: says: (19:33:09)There are quite a few nice ones but none that have truly made me go wow thats nice

Terry "PFA Org" Morgan: (19:33:14)I know what you mean, Rich. I have to be the mood for red

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:33:31)well if you like Riesling then I can see where the problem is Rich

Richard Gibson: says: (19:33:09)There are quite a few nice ones but none that have truly made me go wow thats nice

Terry "PFA Org" Morgan: (19:33:14)I know what you mean, Rich. I have to be the mood for red

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:33:31)well if you like Riesling then I can see where the problem is Rich

Richard Gibson says: (19:33:37)a fruity white wine is perfect

Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad says: (19:33:43) so is lemonade

Richard Gibson: says: (19:33:51) Andreas, its a 2005 Riesling, dont pigeonhole it

Sam Worger says: (19:33:51 )magners

Paul "EEFA org" Walker says: (19:33:53)

so is irn-bru

Richard Gibson:usersays: (19:33:55)

lol sam

So there you have it people..not only is FML for budding football managers alike...you get Wine tips from the members of The Blisett Gameworld...Lager and Lime anyone? Its good to see our Scottish managers being responsible with alcohol... Paul "EEFA org" Walker says: (19:33:59)Sam ur too young!!

With the World Snooker Championships in full swing this week and Stephen Hendry on the comeback trail we take a look at what the London Paper has to say on the one time Scottish Maersto of the green baize.

5 Ways to make Stephen Hendry more maraketable:

5: Hire Rafeal Benitez as your defensive coach

4: As a Homage to bullseye turn and ask the audience wether he should "gamble" or "play safe"

3: Did somebody say re-record "snooker loopy" as a power ballad? I believe they did

2: SCREAM "Im seven times world champion bitch" everytime he makes a tricky shot

1: Knock up the simply adorable Susan Boyle from Britains Got Talent

Stephen Hendry backed modern snooker this week by saying "the likes of Alex Higgins pissing in his plant pots and headbutting officials" having seen some of the snooker this week i cant think of anything id like watching more!

Liverpool fans will feel like classic matches are like London buses. You wait for ages for 1 to come along and 2 come along at once....any you come away feeling you`ve been savagely mugged.

Steven Gerard was a guest pundit this week for sky sports during the draw with Arsenal. He was erudite, insightfull and never once bought things back to himself. Andy Gray apologised and promised normal service would be resumed

Arsene Wenger this week said that Adebayor missed the Liverpool match this week due to a re-currence of `tiredness` He could also be a doubt for the weekend because of a recurrence of wingers size 11 up his backside...he must have been to one of diccons motivational seminars!

David Beckham wants to beat malaria. For a man who has never beaten a full back, i don't fancy his chances.

And finally Roy Keane is in at Ipswich and one well wisher was pleased "im thrilled to see him back in day-day management" barked roy`s tired dog Triggs!

So to another week in the Blisett gameworld..is there a hint of boredom setting in? Im not sure our heart is in it at the moment...i know what it is though...its British Summer time!!! Thats what it is...the world is all sitting outside on street cafe`s drinking Rumanian ruisling or a cheeky magners in a pint glass with ice!! Or is everyone `s Panini sticker album falling apart because they cant get that last gold badge cos the kids wont do swopsies in the playground...with the Agurro saga laid to rest in the history books ..will we ever see that elusive youth from Dublin hearts break the 1m barrier...have you all got your Juding potential skill yet?? If not just find out who`s bidding for all the potential superstars..then you don't need it...im pointing my finger at the welsh for this one!!

Louis Balfour im happy to report has settled nicely into his new role at our sister club in another world away...His name was cleared by the powers that be..which is niiiiiiiiceeee!!

Have a Good Week

Kev Flack

Sponsored by Swiss Toni....blockbusters..loans..blah blah.

2009-04-24T13:56:00.001-07:00

The Final Whistle 17-04-2009

2009-04-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle 17.04.2009
Is this week sponsored by Britain’s Next Top Male Model

In this week’s edition:

Louis Balfour Leaves the Daggers...Sacking exclusive
The Daggers Start to the season...Berg hasn’t started well..40k wages..Expensive? Hell yeh!
The world Shudders at the Arrival of Aiden Parry.

Diccon Brown..coaching tips exclusive

Fashion tips from Brad and Rich in the Lobby..Plimsolls or roll necks? We have the answers

Our usual Dip into Real Life Football funnies-This week from the free London Paper

The Worst Players in the World...We have them for you right here

But we start this week with an exclusive insight into the sacking of Daggers first team coach Louis Balfour who has not been seen since his sacking from the Chat helper team just a few days ago. I managed to catch up with Louis in his club last night...he is not a happy man and has vowed to return to Football coaching when the right opportunity arises..He has been offered a youth team role at the Daggers Sister Club Dagenham and Romford United. After our 3rd Round of shots and a few jazz tunes later he revealed to me that he had bumped into a Director of the UFFA board in the back corridors of Blisett, late one Monday evening....He was a new member of the Board and Louis wasn’t sure that bringing a stranger into the boardroom was a good idea..We like our talent home grown he told me...anyway after we had nearly wiped out the optics he also revealed to me that his Contract details and Picture had been altered overnight...he was outraged! ! It was like someone taking your PIN number and helping themselves to your bank account. Louis has taken his case to the board of FML in hope of some recompense. But for now Louis will be in the Jazz club every night unearthing young talent...niiiiiiiice! (I need some 16 yr olds for the youth Louis!

The Daggers Start to the Season in D1 or AEFA got off to a terrible start with the PARDO-BERG partnership not firing on all cylinders..so the coaching team at the daggers reverted back to 1 up front and Berg was dropped to the bench..Our firs t game of the new season was in the Non Prem cup and all started well a 5-2 win against Div 2 Soccer Kings with Pardo and Berg both scoring..but it all went wrong after this and we with our First League games against Tom Weirs Kids a 1-1 draw which we were happy with..a point on the board...we then suffered 3 home 1-0 losses to WKS Grunwald and Morose Maruaders and a poor performance away from home lead to another defeat..2-1 at the hands of Bayern Munich..after a Draw and a Win in our next games...the Season turned...we managed to avenge the defeat against WKS by beating them 5-2 back at the Kettering Lane Arena...then it got even better as we hammered 6 past the Bandits over 2 games..3-0 and 3-1..then a last min defeat to Tom`s hearts again a couple of indifferent results against Blantyre Celtic and we finish the first part of the season top of D1 but having played twice as many games..There are 14 managers yet to play so defeating the AI engine will be the key to success for many of us in AEFA D1 This season.

A New breed of manager transfers in..

It was late evening and the lobby was quite...the wind was blowing in the trees, small animals were preparing for an evening of scavenging of the bins, small children and women were sleeping peacefully upstairs..the kettle was on and a packet of biscuits sat innocently on the desk...then after dipping a garibaldi into the late night cuppa..I looked up and a shudder of universal shuddering happened...the Monitor flickered...the Hard drive almost gave up and the DVD drive ejected a disk for no apparent reason.

AIDEN PARRY had entered the Blisett game world.....

Bradley "Real Manager Award Winner 2009” says: (22:59:17)
You dont want young guys being in charge of your destiny
Diccon Brown: says: (22:59:24)
shudder
Kev `CHAT HELPER BALFOUR! NIiiiiice` Flack.: (23:02:26)
*dark clouds form*
Diccon Brown: says: (23:07:31)
Its ok kev it's not actually happened. There are no beasts rising from where the world has split open, no four horsemen of the apocalypse and the AI is still giving Bradley a shoeing so the world is all as it should be
Diccon...it has happened...the PARRY has landed!!! Be afraid..be very afraid...well unless your Molloy..who`s scared of no one. Who was quoted as saying “who is this Aiden Muppet anyway”.

This weeks Top Training tips with Diccon Brown,

Diccon Brown: (17:24:14)
I am shocked and disappointed... Hermosilla is a great wet lettuce, Your coaching staff have indicated that tenacious Paraguayan midfielder
spurred on by your cutting edge coaching, has been showing remarkable improvements recently.Their report went on to indicate they feel that the player is nowhere near ready for regular first team football and although his development is an encouraging sign for the future throwing him in at the deep end like this may damage his confidence and hamper his development.
Kev `Swiss Toni` Flack: (17:24:36) u bully diccon!
Diccon Brown: (17:25:24) Just because I share coaching tips with the trainer from dodgeballl what of it!!
Diccon Brown says: (17:27:33)
I'll just have to see if Juan Fernández Guillermo González Santos fancy taking his place in the first team to stop him getting his nappy wet!!

Next week..how to motivate your team...with `motivational lectures from Diccon`s motivational manual`.

High Fashion hits the Blisett Lobby..

The Blisett lobby has seen many topic covered but this is the first conversation ive seen on clothes. Blokes just don’t do clothes...or do they..we have the exlclusive transcript below...
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:02:15)
I’ve just been sent an email from a shop that i normally use
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:02:21) saying their baseball caps are now half price, down to £72
Brad . says: (11:02:26) lol, WHAT
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:02:31) yup
Brad .: says: (11:02:38) Are you THAT high class?
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:02:43) one of them has come down from £185
Brad says: (11:02:51)Wtf
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson
says: (11:02:55) nah im not that stupid
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:03:05)most i pay is £40-£50 for a poloshirt
Brad .: says: (11:03:05)is it made from albino children’s ears or something?
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:03:17)lol
Brad . says: (11:03:33)I spend a fortune on clothes
Brad says: (11:04:03) £25 minimum per t-shirt. Average of £70 on jeans, £70 on shoes, £60 on zippies....
Brad .: says: (11:04:12)No wonder I’m in the shit financially

Kev `Swiss Toni` Flack:: (11:04:14) zippies??
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:04:14) lol
Brad .:: (11:04:21)yeah, hoodys with a zip
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:04:30)you know what daps are brad?
Brad .: says: (11:04:37)Beermats?
Brad .: says: (11:04:43)Just a wild punt...
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:04:43)lol
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: (11:04:55) nah the white plimsoll type shoes
Brad .: says: (11:05:08)
I hate them
Brad .:: (11:05:14) Just buy proper shoes godammit
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: (11:04:30)you know what daps are brad?
Brad .: says: (11:04:37) Beermats?
Brad .: (11:04:43) Just a wild punt...
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:04:43) lol
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:04:55)nah the white plympsole type shoes
Brad .: says (11:05:08) I hate them
Brad . says: (11:05:14) Just buy proper shoes godammit<:emoticon#50>
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:05:18) i bought a Fred Perry pair the other day, £35, lol
Brad .: says: (11:05:24)lol
Brad .: says: (11:05:30) Urm...i love plimsoles, good choice rich
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:05:35)lol
Brad .: (11:05:49)I mean plimsoles were cool when you were doing gym in primary 1
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson:: (11:05:57) i dont think ive ever gone too overboard in clothes
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:06:07) most lavish was probably £90 pair of jeans, but that was a one off
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson:: (11:06:07) most lavish was probably £90 pair of jeans, but that was a one off
Brad .: says: (11:06:23) I have to spend 70 give or take 20quid
Brad .: says: (11:06:43) 6ft5 with a 31 waist. Trousers need to be good quality or they don’t fit me
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:06:44)i like Ralph Lauren Polo Shirts, or Crew
SO there we go bloggers...you want Loans you goto blockbusters..you want Deals on players you come to Swiss Toni...but however..you want Fashion Tips..you goto BRAD AND RICH...they have a whole range of tips for you, Baseball caps, Polo Shirts, Zippies, Plimsols, Fred Perry ones..and Rich has a special line in wasting £90 and if u look Bradley is a 6ft 5 18 year old..scary stuff!!

This week our weekly dip into the World of Real football focuses on the London Paper..the free one you get GIVEN if your anywhere near a London Tube Station every evening..I like the sales pitch...U want Free Paper to leave on the train at the other end?? HELL YEAH! It beats sitting listening to some blonde girl who clearly lives in Romford chat to her mates for a whole 25 mins..about how her night in Time & Envy went to the complete list of contacts on her nokia!....do people do this on purpose..the whole carriage could hear..she was putting me off my Reading of this quality daily!!

Tonight we kick off with our Regular Top 5 line-up...our victim this week is yet again Goose Hidwink!

Messages left on Guus`s Answering Machine

5. Gaffer? Physio. Another ones out for the Season with Heart Failure
4.” Clive Tyldlsey here. Was my `Wishe Wordsh` gag the shitties ever said by a human being?
3.Its Sammy Lee Here. Look sorry i spent Tuesday night saying i wanted to ********* tear you a new ********* and that your squad was a bunch of ******* ****** , OK?”
2.”Gaffer? Physio again. Petr chech`s out for the season. Its the worst case of suddenly shit-itis ive ever seen
1.”Ha ha he he ha ha .Tee hee. Ho Ho Ho, sorry, its lionel Messi
Other stories in the news this week....

Jenson buttons car had been classed as legal or was it his girlfriend?

Good Week for Alan Mcgregor and Barry Ferguson. After going on an 8 hour drinking bender then stick two fingers up at everyone on TV. Theyve been forgiven by rangers fans. And also Voted Most Scottish People ever!

Angel Cabrera won the Masters Golf on Sunday. It was the first time a Latin American had been seen in Augusta not holding a brush

Wayne Rooney is reportedly Going to call his sons James, After James Bond. Reports of a home movie called `for your pies only` are untrue

The Worst Player in the World??

Finally this week...Diccon Brown been scouring the Market Place to find the Worlds Worse players....do they belong to you??
James Tomlinson – Gareth Hughes - Daniel Boateng -Nick Buxton - Stephen Hackett - Kevin Doyle - Gareth Hughes - Billy Timothy -
Dan Parker -and the worst of the bunch! just piping Ricky DeFreitas - to the worst player signed
Have you got a story for the blog from your FA? Got something you want to get off your chest? Maybe a Season so far report or how your training facilities aren’t up to scratch? Hints and tips on how to get your stadium full or just a general Rant...then this is the place for you...If you have then mail me on FML...

As for the Daggers this week..whilst we get over the Departure of Louis and the return of Swiss Toni to the coaching team here at the Kettering Lane Arena...All i can say is....it was a treat being in the blue for a few days...but its good to be back!!!

Have a Good week
Kev Flack (Sponsored by Swiss Toni!)

The Final Whistle 10-04-2009

2009-04-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle ( No sponsor for this week)

TFW this week is written in memory of Vinnie Lavezzi, who has hung up his keyboard and mouse and decided to leave Blisett. We will miss his ranting. Blank Armband time.

Pre-season week, always a bit of a let down, wage auction chaos, poaching, transfer rumours, swap deals, ranting about playoffs and not getting emails Burak Akin: says: (19:50:10)
“i make my compliment about that playoff case... I am saying again that there is no such mail as you claimed in my all of the mailboxes... NOBODY HAVE TO RIGHT TO FORCE ME OUT OF PLAYOFFS... I won that right in season” yeh ok mate! Thanks for the `compliment` though!

...then there’s Pre-season warm up leagues and competitions...i organised the PRITT STICK league...sadly not enough have entered at the moment to get it going...
How did the Daggers Fair...well we finished 12th in D1B which considering half the team were youth i was very happy...any new signings for the Daggers? Just the one major wage auction...breaking the strict wage policy and paying 40k wages for Marcus Berg...not as crazy as some...one manager paid 50k wages...apparently he also gave him a new pair of boots, membership to the local Witham town health spar and a lunch voucher for the local harvester...i don’t know these footballers these days as if 50k wasn’t enough!

The sega goody bag arrived this week and to my wife’s amusement included along with a copy of FM09 and various other sega merchandise was a SEGA lip balm...after discussing the said Lip Balm with Paul walker I’m seriously worried about some of you Scottish lads..Maybe its the water up there...but...

can i have the lip balm?
Paul "EEFA org" Walker: says: (21:05:29)
ill gee u a kiss
You have been warned people.

AROUND THE WORLD

Being as the Blog will be appearing on the FML main site soon i thought id take a look round the blisset gameworld..bit like looking into the next store neighbours bedroom window..you see allsorts of shanigans going on....theres even some sibling rivalry going down. Now i have to becarefull here for legal reasons at it involves a 600k fine for 1 of 2 brothers who are in the Blisett gameworld. Ross Allen and Graeme Allen..managed to produce a cracking game where Allan`s Eleven won away from home..7-1!! Do you think they changed bedrooms..Home and away dressing room? I heard that ladbrookes were taking bit bets on there being more than 6 goals...so FML is not only full of good football its true to life with fines for teams, illegal betting scandals and discruntled managers being hauled before the board of mods and served with 600k fines...take the 5th is my advice!

I received a message from a source that i would not like to uncover...about bribery...he told me that a certain welsh manager had offered him cash+sheep for PATO...shocking revelations..

David Dickinson’s Real deals is now alive in the Market Place

Mr Wiggles: says: (09:53:47)
Harald Pinxten:player#200501?1402441434 cheap as chips
Kev `Football manager live..niiiiceee! Flack.:user#638> says: (09:55:16)
ITs like David Dickinson’s real deals in here!
Diccon Brown: says: (09:55:58)
Gets out the creosote and applies to face... Eliabe:player#19037258?2182328552 pacey 1 in 2 20yo striker (not bad as a lone striker). Just have too many young strikers.

END OF SEASON MANAGERS AWARDS

Because of the debacle of 2 in-active managers winning awards...I decided to set up a managers managers of the year award and im delighted to say Brad won this...he`s a good lad that one..there were a total of 22 votes..brad with 7 and myself with Tom Weir with 4 a piece.

Resident funny man..Diccon Brown had this to comment on the subject
Diccon Brown says: (08:54:36)
REAL not stupid AI fixed managers manger of the season that doesn't go to some bloke that signed up but never pplayed a singal game probably won't fit..
.i think he was saying you cant fit that into your profile..unlike Glen Fyrth...managers manager of the season...bah.

JUDGING POTENTIAL
For the first time in my FML playing days i have finally learnt JP!! Although Steve Drew found it midly amusing..thus..
Steve Drew: says: (21:50:40)
damn and drat to you ,you j.p.ist.lol
Steve Drew says: (21:51:51)
it reaches the parts ordinary scouting just doesnt reach

RANTING

A popular pastime ranting...and I came across this on the SI Forums...I think it was around the problems with the server outage in the states and the lack of support..thus
While your at it SI id like a server of my own...to be staffed by 999 chimpanzees that never bid for any players I like and throw every game . I want a cash boost of 10mil at the start of my GW and none of my players to ever get injured.

Also I wish for you to pay for me to play on my own server and send me regular emails congratulating me on how super I am as a manager...

Thanks
COMPETITION TIME
Daryl Griffiths: says: (08:56:38)
ii3oo3rjfodjeieiwjiueu

IF anyone can translate that for me...let me know...

The REAL WORLD

A popular dip into the Real world of Football and Sport from around the Red tops and evening papers. This week i have not been at work so ive trawled the interent for some funny bits and i came across a few classic quotes from our counterparts in the real world...some of them are real gems!
"What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?"
(STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live)
"And I suppose they [Spurs] are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than at any other time since the first half of this season, when they weren't ever in it anyway."
(JOHN MOTSON, BBC)
"....and the news from Guadalajara where the temperature is 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up."
(BRIAN MOORE)
"The game is balanced in Arsenal's favour."
(JOHN MOTSON)
"You have got to miss them to score sometimes."
(DAVE BASSETT)
"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley. . . unless somebody knocks us out."
(DAVE BASSETT)

Good old Dave Basett, he`s not the brightest torch in the dark is he!

As it was champions league time this week for our 4 BRITISH teams..i came across this:

The top 5. . . ... signs Champions League is getting too easy for English clubs

5. Rafael Benitez’s in-depth pre-match team talk replaced with a lively game of Pictionary
4. ‘Next George Best’? No. Ryan Giggs now known as ‘Next Judith Chalmers’
3. Pre-match energy drinks replaced with gin and tonic
2. Fans taking time out to learn foreign languages for away trips, rather than shouting slowly in English while miming
1. It’s becoming fiscally wiser for players to be paid in Air Miles

We`ve had many changes in blisett this week..new mods, Organisers, and chat helper..and blow me down they asked me to be a chat helper!! The idiots are taking over the Asylum..i have now relinquished my black card status and all seems to have been forgiven for my past mistermena`s in Lineker Gameworld...Well ive got to say whilst typing the blog tonight ive been watching RED DWARF..its a bit of a let down in all honesty...its ok...but ive seen better!!

So to season 4...and the Daggers will be in Div 2 of AEFA i think...but don’t worry we`ll be back..im off to order a milk shake and a crispy bar before the ship explodes...and don’t forget..smoke me a kipper ill be back for breakfast!

Have a good week!!

Kev Flack ( Sponsored by Louis Balfour)
http://thedaggers.blogspot.com/

The Final Whistle 03-04-2009

2009-04-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle (This week sponsored by a Sega Goody bag)

An award winning start to this week from TFW as we are the proud recipients of a Sega Goody bag!! Marvellous..What’s in it i hear you cry...not a clue! But as soon as pat bungs it through the letter box at some time around 2pm which is standard i believe from 1st class post these days. It was won after being entered into a community completion on the forums..actually it was a bit of a given where as there were 5 prizes and only 4 entries!! We also currently lead the way in voting to be included on the FM Live official site! Up the Blisett!! Get a vote in if you haven’t already...check my profile for the link!!

Well thats enough off all that molarchy!! Down to business...What a week it has been, The mighty Dagger Utd continued there freefall to the lower leagues after we run out of cotton wool for star Columbian striker Pardo after he was crocked twice this week! I’ve been scouring the transfer market for days trying to find a replacement for 600k but nothing..but I did manage to pick up some kids for youth development...they are the future you know! Witham town of AEFA DB1 finnally succomened to there first defeat of the season at the hand of Ben Hibberts Deal Dynamos...im not sure why they wear pink tho...may have something to do with the manager..eh babe!!

Rant of the week award this week...well its a difficult one as i had a bit of a rant in the lobby which sent Glen Fryth off to get some beers in...ive finally drove him to drink!! All it was i was a bit naffed off with the cock up with the clocks going forward and it throwing the Game into chaos...i wasn’t the only one effected..one manager had to change his screen res to fit all his AI games list into it!! I blame the farmers to be honest!

Comedy Line of the week has to be Diccon Brown...genius! All around the subject of Judging Potential Blah Blah..

Diccon Brown says: (21:22:09)

“My jp is sitting there going so what? he's just gone round three defenders, thrown in a couple of lollipops, flicked it up to launch it into the top corner from 40 yards out... he probably won't scrub up to much”

I came across this on the forums somewhere...you have been warned kids...

“I am unable to leave FML even if I want to because having a team on here is basically like being in a marriage...
a) we're contractually bound and we can't be arsed with the hassle
b) we've already put far too much effort and time in to quit now
c) we know we probably can't get better anywhere else
d) there is something comforting about the routine
e) we feel guilty when we sneak off to play Pro Evo/COD, etc or WORSE when we exercise our right to a social life, FML is always somewhere there in the sub-conscious
f) we become irrationally attached to our mediocre, underachieving youth teams, like they are pseudo-offspring and the next big, leaping improvement is just round the corner.

After scouring the local rags and Red Tops on my daily commute this week i found some snippets to keep you amused...Mainly arround the return of yet another prodigal son to the land of toon...this time it was of the shearer variety...ammusingly i read they delayed it by a day so it wasn’t on 1st of April!!
Top Five things said by Shearer this week

5.”Moaning to the ref, whinging behind the bosses back,elbowing,being selfish. If i catch any of you doing this I`ll think `now theres a chip of the old block!`”

4.”Im saying nothing, Its up to you to work out whats going on..Bit like when im on Match of the day!

3.”Its not about Alan Shearer. Its about Newcastle United winning matches...Well thats half the truth!

2.”Look at me and now look at Dowie. Now take the first thoughts that come into your mind and put them together. Thats what we need to do...Win UGLY!

1.” Alot been said about this striker.He`s an England Hero and still knows how to score. He`s not fit but he`s starting...Sit down Michael. Im talking about me!

Alan shearer has warned his Players to stay clear of nightlife for the next 8 weeks. Just one Ropey club at a time lads! Shearer also said he would be taking advice from his former managers. Kevin Keegan, Glenn Hoddle, Ruud Gullit, Graemhe Souness, Ian Branfoot. These are just 5 of the men he must ignore!

Diego Maradona`s Argentine were walloped 6-1 this week by Bolivia. Its not the first time he`s been hit for 6 and high thanks to a strong Bolivian Lineup!

Dart news now and Phil Taylor was hit by an Apple this week during his win over Jelle Klaasen in Glasgow. And it poses a question...what the hell was fruit doing in Scotland!

Finally this week Steve Bruce is a bit upset with Amr Zaki, saying “i have never worked with someone so unprofessional.” A Tearfull Paul Mcgrath wept “did i mean nothing to you!”

Into the final few days of the Season in blisett and another Edition of TFW has been read and digested..i resisted the urge to use the GOODY BAG pun as i thought it wood be in slightly bad taste..i just hope the sega one isn’t a black zip one eh!

Good luck to one and all is you leagues this week...and someone just someone put a stop to Dublin Hearts domination of the youth competions...you can find there manager getting even more smug in the Lobby each evening...nice bloke though!!

Have a good week!!

Kev Flack ( Sponsored by Louis Balfour)
http://thedaggers.blogspot.com/
vote for us here... http://community.sigames.com/showthread.php?t=115543

2009-03-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle (An amusing look at the Week in FML and Real life)
(This week sponsored by a Dodgy Football Agent from Witham Town)

Another week in the World has past and the FML Blisett game world has once again swung by very quickly...ive been back hard at work this week...apparently ! I think this game has gone too far now...its even appearing on Skysports new IRL..i received this message from Witham Town Manager Jon Ray just this morning..

“oh look what i found on sky sports news.....

WITHAM TOWN LOOK TO PARDO Witham Town legend Jon Ray has set his sights on Daggers utd striker Pardo in a deal that could reach as high as £1 million. Sources from the Ethan Ray stadium say that the form shown by Witham this season, who remain un beaten have forced Jon to look to the young south American.
Looks like its on then,,,,,,,,”

Jon, im not sure what satellite TV dish you have but I’m not sure it’s real!! Get a grip man!!

Im determined to keep hold of my star striker..although he was clobbered this week but A team of Muppets...keep your boys undercontrol mich!! As to the league..I think Mid-table for the Daggers will be our aim..then push onto the prem next season...then again! This is FML..
Rant of the week...once again our man Vinnie was in fine form in the lobby..thus..

Vincent 'Red Card' Lavezzi: (16:38:17)
And now the FML classified results starting in the Boreclays Premiership .
Stadium Investor 0 ..Team investor 2
Long term planner 0 ..Short term 1
Wreckless Wage FC 4 ..Conservative Utd..1
AI vs active player (courtesy of Diccon Brown)
Artificial City 2 . Sporting Newbie 1
Very funny stuff...a great rant..i wont broadcast the rest as the kids are watching!!

As its the international break once again this week and as England Prepare to Fit Beckham with yet another cap its been fairly quite on the back pages of the Red tops..but ive managed to unearth a few comical parades...if youve been reading there re-vamping Roy of the Rovers and it fittingly goes into our thoughts of FML..after all FML isn’t real either (wash my mouth out i hear you say!)
Some Suprises included in the revamp..here are the Top 5:
5: “you are the ref” asks what to do when a player threatens to slash your throat!
4: Melchester Rovers are 667m in Debt with the owners contemplating moving to Cardiff City and re-branding as Melchester Majic!
3:Its not the boots that make Billy run its the banned steroid THG
2: Gary Lineker `go for goal` quiz column is replaced by advice column on how to secure “top crumpet”
1: Roy Race misses the cup final!! No, not because of injury but because of of his court appearance after an altercation outside a melchester nightclub!!

So get your copy of Roy of the Rovers, looks like a good read to me!! I wonder if they`ll do the same to the beano and bring it bang up to date!! They might give Dennis a Hoodie and replace gnasher with a Pitbull!

I was also reading that research has found that smashing the ball at 65mph from the penalty spot give you a better chance of scoring from 12 yards, the research was from the no Shit Sherlock University!

Moving the IPL from Indian to South Africa this week has not pleased Kevin Pietersen as its going to cost him £150k!! A spokeman for the IPL said “we didn’t want to move it, just wanted to see the look on Pietersens face!

Goalkeeper Ben Foster this week is to bide his team at Manchester Utd and with a bit of luck will become the next Roy Carrol or Raimond Van der Gouw!

So to the exciting climax of the FML season and the joy of Playing AI games...great!! im not complaining..honest! The forums are awash of people moaning!! Just don’t play it then!

I do like the £2 a month offer to go into an old gameworld...ive forwarded it to all my mates...i can loan and sell them some of my tatt!! Marvellous!

As we fast approach the Easter break there will be many managers in Blisett glued to the TV channel DAVE over the Easter weekend...The boys from the DWARF are coming back to earth..SO SI...you`ll see significant number of managers not logging in over the 10,11,12 and 13th of April! You have been warned!!

Have a Great week and don’t forget its only a game kids!!
Kev Flack (Sponsored by Louis Balfour...niiiiiice!)

2009-03-22T05:29:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle (A look at the week in FML and Real life)

This week TFW is proudly sponsored by P&O Ferries

I haven't produced a copy of the rag for the Blisett Gw for a while and as ive bee in here quite a disturbing amount of time this week whilst being off sick ive picked up some very amusing conversations from in and around the game world.

Tell me something did he ever play for Arsenal? Just a thought..i could have sworn he played for Watford and ended up in Italy? No?

Rant of the week is a difficult choice so I'll leave you to decide which is the best rant!

Vincent `Red Card` Lavezzi kicked us off with a rant around 5 red card in 4 games, he was not a happy man and it also lead me to discover he`s not Italian either! He`s actually a Met Policemen from Croydon!! I was stunned to see his rant in the AEFA chat...some of which wont be repeated but this was the funniest i can show you:

Vincent 'Red Card' Lavezzi >says: (17:34:02)
..and TVB are showing their stuff here..what crackign play dominating the attack..amazing..but whats this..Ben hibbert appears to be talking to the third official..a vellum envelope has changed hands....omg a red card for being offside for lavezzi..amazing!

and the refs placing the ball for the freekick..1 yard out of the penalty area and demanding the wall leave the field!"

He now says he`s going to quit the game and travel round the world...dont go Vinnie its ok we know your not really Italian!

Second Rant of the week goes to An australlian manager who will remain nameless for legal reasons, who claims the training facilities at his club are sub-standard, im not sure but 13 players wont exactly win you many awards for team spirit and morale...i suggested that he takes his lads to dubai for a well earned brake...dont worry i wont be offering and more advice to managers who have played the game for 18 months...im not a moron you know!!
The sob story of this week has to be Matthew Malloy, this guy has an un-canny resemblance from someone from the muppet show...but you have to feel sorry for him as every time a P&O ferry passes his student digs he loses signal..but then again tourist`s chucking cheap French lager at you must be a bonus...

As for the daggers this week, well we currently sit proudly top of AEFA DB1, but we are realistic and aiming now for a top 6 finish as we moon walk back to the premiership..who are we kidding tho..probably end up 7th on goal difference..My only concern for the might daggers is having to play Pembrokshire FC`s AI towards the end of the season..."mod duties apparently"...get yourself a Brian Horton Deano!

Congrats to Tom Weir....now AEFA org...dont forget the DND button tom..good lad!
Whats been happening in the Premiership this week..well shock horror the top 4 do a merry dance and Man Utd still end up on top after losing 2 games in a row...the first times thats happened in 4 years apparently...Chelsea beaten by Spurs and With Liverpool Facing Villa its all to play for...

Since Jose has gone...we have lost a bit of character in the game...but hold on...Phill Brown is a contender for the post of most amusing manager tag. HE`s had an eventfull week..that dodgy coat last weekend and the spit tunnel at the emriates, he was an angry man,

TOP FIVE REASONS WHY HULL MANAGER PHILL BROWN IS SO ANGRY:

5: Someone just spat in his general direction, oh no hold on that was his wife brushing her teeth!
4: Penny dropped that `new Kevin Keegan` moniker is less about his penchant for attacking free flowing football and more about his thin skinned , over emotional dummy spitting persona!
3:Potentially corrosive effect of saliva on fake tan is no laughing matter
2:Relesead earpieces; surly demeanour and third person-speak make him and Brian Horton look like a criss-cross double act
1:Just dawned on him that he has to get back on the coach to Hull!

Has anyone seen the Ray winstone advert from the FA targeting parents for abusing referees. Good choice of person their to tell people to stop swearing and shouting! Next week GOK WAN will appear in a string of commercials criticising shrieking homosexuals!

Dider Drogba compared himself and his Chelsea teammates this week to being like "Five fingers on a hand" it was a flirting anology, given thats the exact same gesture most fans make when watching the striker in action!

The F1 championship will now be decided on who wins the most races, so what would happen if the same driver won the first 9 races of a 17 race season, surrendering the rest of the season pointless, Bernie Ecclestone put his fingers in his ears and said "fa nananana nan nanana i cant hear you!"

SO to another week in Blisett and yet more shananigans in the lobby no doubt..dont foregt lads..you cant play with 10 men up front...its just not cricket is it!!
Have a good week...

Kev Flack (Sponsored by Louis Balfour, from the local jazz club

The Final Whistle 13-03-2009

2009-03-13T15:16:00.000-07:00

The Final Whistle (This week sponsored by Shev Jamil of AEFA)
Musings from a week in football..FML and the real world!

Well, whats been hapnin it seems a while since my last Final Whistle! As the kids would say!!
“I was held down with a shotgun to my head as i lurked in the back corridors of Lineker, a shadow loomed over me and a voice said through my MSN messenger “kev u tit” get back to Lineker!!” I did it! It was 22:45, it was late i was confused and with 2 clicks i was back after 2 seasons absence i was back!!!! Not alot had changed really, i still managed to assemble a team of misfits and rejects, or players with wages people were trying to offload and with in a week im back in the top 300!! When i left i was 547th ranked in the world so thats not bad!! Although i have been assisted by the loan market!! My team is like a branch of blockbusters! (an ode to Terry Tibbs, gone but not forgotten!)

Ive amazingly been squeezed into AEFA championship...im not doing to bad and a few more old faces have returned to the fold..im a bit miffed at the £9m transfer budget of said manager..BOO! oh well..too the season ahead which has started well..i might actually not get relegated! Although John Batty has loaned me a cracking curry recipe!
Same old chat in the lobby, banter and general funiness! Its all part of the game. The most amusing shocking thing ive read in ages came in the new lets get tough rules sent from SI/SEGA..it reads...

LEGAL CONDUCT
- FML has its own economy and in-game method for trading players and competition rewards. You must not offer to sell players for real life money or any other real life benefits. This also includes auctioning players on real life auction websites.

I can’t believe some people would even consider it!! Hey ive got a player on EBAY as we speak..he`s not real but give me £10 and he`s urs!! Apparently WOW accounts are going for $1000 on ebay! Those crazy yanks eh!! Whats that old saying...”Only in AMERICA!” god bless em! I struggle to hide the £17.99 i spent in ASDA on a 2nd sub from the mrs!! I told her it was diesel for the motor!! Hmm..thats an odd price luv!! Not sure i could hide the oh yeh i spent a tenner on a fictional player on a Football manager game!

So whats been going on in the Real world of football....hang on..im getting a bit confused these days in separating FML from the Football in real life...as in real life the daggers are loosing more than winning and the top 4 in the premiership moon walk there way through Europe!! The Real Madrid capitulaitoion to the red side of the Mersey was shocking!! It does make me smile...oooh 4 ENGLISH clubs through to the last 8...how many English players tho!! 12 maybe??
Ah The premier league u cant beat it can u!! Well yeh you probably can but theres so much around the rest of the world!!

Ashley cole..what a great lad he is..Upon returning from Juventus he described how he came from behind an old lady and had given her a good spanking! Back to the dog house for you my lad!

An Arsenal Fan stabbed in the ARSE in Roma..just be thankfull Cockfoster aren’t in Europe!

Roma`s Defeat to Arsenal was a blow for coach Luigi Spaletti, but atleast he can console himself that he was named winner of the most Italian sounding name since Guispeppi Tutti Frutti!

Evertons Victor Anichebee..not having a good time is he..stamped on by Kevin Nolan in Newcastle, booed by Newcastle fans as he hobbles off the pitch. This week left distressed after being pounced on by police- while on crutches for looking in a jewellery shop window. Makes you proud to be English!

David Beckham says he is not fazed by being booed by LA Galaxy fans, a man who had an effigy of himself strung up by fans,what wont trouble him is the though of being jeered at by three fat men called corey!!

Sam Alardyce has told his Blackburn team to slim down a bit! He then said something else but it was hard to make out as he stuffed some cake into his fat face!

Aparently Gomes isn’t afraid of taking on the top 4 big boys!! Well im sure u`ll be ok against Birmingham, Wolves and Burnley Heurelho!

SO to another week in Lineker...have a good one..U`ll see Louis balfour lerking in the AEFA chat or the lobby...just don’t forget...only 1 line in the Market Place! This isn’t EBAY!

Cheers ALL

Kev Flack (sponsored by Louis Balfour..Football Club...niiiiiice!)

2009-03-02T15:45:00.000-08:00

The time had come to return home to the original home of witty banta! The Lineker AEFA room..its good to be home boyz..smoke me a kipper ill be back for breakfast!

The Final Whistle 20-2-2009

2009-02-20T12:26:00.001-08:00

he Final Whistle ( The weeks Musings from FML and The Real World)
The weeks edition is sponsored by the AEFA, The Home of Witty Banta
Bonjourno!
Ah the daily commute to Londinium Town, Marvellous isn't it..well no it isn't really. Ive found myself this week on a train every day to become one of those breed of commuters! Great....still atleast its better than sitting in a car shouting at idiots who cant drive properly..just check the mirror pal!!
Its amusing listening to some people on the train. There was a young lad today who was maybe 9 or 10 and he chatted to his young friend literally non-stop for 25 mins..i didn't have a CLUE what they were saying until..CORR look mummy (who was sitting opposite them) there building a new football stadium!! as the Train rumbled into Stratford. I had to say something, the poor lad was deluded..Its for the Olympics young man!!, his reply was What? What's the Olympics? Who`s in that then?? Then I thought to myself..stick to the football stadium theory as lets face it Some lucky London club will have the pleasure of half filling it after a bunch of athletes have hurled themselves round it, several sharp or round implements have been hurled and people have launched themselves into some sand!!

So whats been happening with the Mighty Daggers Utd in Blisset since the last final whistle..well very badly as it happens..we`ve done our best to get our premiership campain off to a great start and are now predicted to finish 4th Bottom! Even tho we have pulled off some great draws against the top sides. The Dagger youthers seem to have fared better and at this moment in time are challenging Deal Dynamos for the top of the AEFA U21. What concerned me more was the shocking defending of the senior boys against the mighty Witham Town, at one point I had to go to the toilet to cry!! It was that bad.
Controversy of the week was the KAKA debacle..enough said i guess, but i did receive a call from Jose all the way from Italy who wanted to buy Pardo off of me...i said..Jose mate..its a game..its not real life!! He mentioned something about watching seagulls and hung up!! What a guy!
Whats been happening in the Real World of Football this last few days...

Well the GOOSE has landed in West London...Goose Hoodwink! Has arrived to take over at Chelski!! His first New Conference he amused the gathered press huddle with something about Wenger planting Potatoes in the penalty box so they have something to lift in the spring...a Comic Genius if i do say so myself! Although a Chelsea source was heard saying after there first training session..."seems like a nice bloke, but....Very focused. There haven't been any jokes"
I do find the Managers New Conferences very funny, just tonight on Sky Sports news the journalist was more interested in Rafa`s contract than talking about football, why do they do this! Im sure Rafa was thinking...nosey sod!! Lets talk about how i can help you with your journalism career eh!!
Ah Dear old SIR Alex what a guy! Apparently he "DREADS" picking the Utd Team because everyone has done so well", so why the rest of us deal with the uncertainty of the economy, constant threat of unemployment, poverty and depression he has to decide wether to pick Park or Giggs as his side moon walk to the premiership title!
Good old Wayne Rooney was back with a goal with the first kick of the game! First chance and he slips one past the keeper. Wow. Rooney is now known as the Alfie Patten of Manchester United.

Its a sad day but i have to report that Swiss Toni has decided to leave the Daggers UTD Brand after 12 long seasons he has decided to move on and go back to selling used cars..good on ya Toni!! So Louis Balfour of the local Jazz club...niiice has now assumed the role of official Daggers Utd Spokes person. NIIIICE!!!
Have a Great week in FML
Dont forget its just a game!
Kev Flack (AKA as Louis Balfour...Niiiice)

2009-02-12T04:26:00.000-08:00

The Latest Edition of the Final Whistle published into Blisset and Molby

The Final Whistle (A weekly look on the funny things in FML and the real world)

Evening All, i used to write a weekly muse In gameworld Lineker, around life in general and some funny things I read in various daily rags, blogs and publications as well as some musings of my own,...since my transfer to Molby and also Blisset..shhhh don’t tell the mrs, i purchased a 2nd subs for molby from Asda for £17.99! a bargain as sainsburys didn’t have it..bloody amatures i say!!

So to the start of the season...in Blisset all was going well until my team suddenly decided to be rubbish!! The game is too random for my liking sometimes, but in molby all is looking good so far, except i lost my first 2 league matches...still it always happens..its become a tradition in the daggers teams to start badly. What concerened me mostly was the rise of Ethans Gooners Glory in molby..also EX lineker and Cantona..you can often find there manager throwing his toys out..he hates losing...dont we all!!
Banter from the lobby`s in both worlds was of its usual standard, we won’t mention the toy throwing of a mod..Take it easy boys it’s only a commercial!!
Theres been much talk about how has he got that team blah blah..he`s got henrik Larsson etc etc...why! they got those top players by playing the game..you`ll learn that youth is the future..unless your a spurs fan then old players are the future!! Which brings me on nicely to some amusing stuff from this weeks rags and publications...as well as some bit ive picked up from people in FML...
A Liverpool fan on the state of the Liverpool squad...do we think rafa`s lost the plot
"£60m on three players and all are fit and on the bench. Did I mention I've got three Ferrari's but keep them in the garage. Rafa, please don't go back to your old days!"
He seems to be in the press alot lately...this was very funny..had me laughing on the train today...you can often find me on a national express train heading back home to Romford, well Gidea Park to be exact, which is in Essex!
The comments were made surrounding the uproar with the quality coverage of the Everton v Liverpool FA cup game on ITV.
Rafa was asked after the game what he thought of the “tictacs” he replied that he thought that 442 was the right formation to play...you gotta hand it to the Spaniard he`s got the Lingo well under control!
So to the Transfer Window...nothing surprising really..Bargain of the window has to be the immense Emile Heskey to villa for 3m, best deal of the window has to be Palacios to Spurs for 14m, 13m profit.....Dave Whelan will be able to get some cheap gear on wholesale for JJB sports with that cash safely in his pocket!
Speaking of Spurs..There were some amusing things overheard from the training ground this week..Heres the top 4:
1“Just think-Last week you were training with Torres, this week Bent- Oh for god sake don’t cry”
2“You know my penchant for former players. Well link hands around this Ouija board and help me summon the spirit of Danny Blanchflower”
3”I know I shouldn’t say this but admit it, wouldn’t it be funny if we got relegated”
4”Keano, Jermain,Pascal, I’m not tight fisted but is there any chance of having your leaving presents back.

My favourite quote of the week from FML has to be..in the Market place:
“does anyone want to swap my 4 players for my Gold Badge” this is not a pannini sticker album mate.
Quality stuff..
So good luck to everyone’s first season in Molby and an exciting end to Season 1 in blisset..
Just to clear a few of things up:
A: That’s not me in the picture
B: I haven’t got a purple suit
C: I haven’t got a quiff or grey hair.
D: I don’t sell used cars
E: I don’t mind making love to beautiful women Paul!! Well the wife anyway!
All the best
Swiss Toni (AKA Kev Flack, Part of the Dagenham and Romford Management Franchise)