Its been months since i posted a blog posting...but the time has come to vent some rants! and its all good in FML world...or is it..
In GW voller this evening (1 of my only 3 gw`s..well nearly) a fellow user was asked to move along from the tactics room for talking about tactics!! lovely..were playing family fortunes you see and im afraid..X eh oh (or whatever the noise is) you cant talk tactics in the tactics room...so run along nothing to see here..go talk in the lobby with the lobbyists..
The Lobbyists...a bunch of highly comical sometimes bordering on damm right offensive..but dare i say comical again!....walking a tightrope accross a cavern of muting and yellow cards...nah! cos we are always just on the right side of the line..i try to be funny most of the time....random facebook pictures of fellow users girlfriend has been high on the amusement list in valderamma this week..."well i say..dont bloody add me to facebook if you dont want the abuse" its not hard..Random lobby joke of the week..from fellow essex boy..chris sawya! "I failed my politics exam question, which was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer."
This evening i noticed when signing into voller or sancheez..i cant remember which one...there was a message about gameworldplus`s new podcast! i grabbed the old iphone 4..downloaded the explicit content..and with much excitement started to play it...i gotta be honest...you miserable gits!! its like 3 blokes in an empty pub all holding knives to there wrists!! liven it up lads!! a bit of humour is needed!! wahey!
The forums are boring me at the moment...FML is dying blah blah...MARC DUFFY IS A CONE blah blah...the m.e is shit blah blah...well lets pep it up a bit and add some amusing screenshots...cant wait for the youtube addition...theres going to be more videos with classic cockups than a video stream from youporn.com!!
Restart restarts...Ive restarted in all 3 of my gameworlds...and one word..just one..PACE...its easy..filter the available players..and just pick any with half decent stats and PURE pace...in one of my teams..the slowest player has 18 pace...its highly amusing watching them leg it past 14-18 rep teams..
Poundland...role up role up...24 rolls of kitchen towell for £1 or if you want..u can have 16 players for £16..thats just £1 each!! amazing bargains!!
So i thought what i would do...in valderamma is..all the Teams in the DFA would get there own season preview!! your nuts..no i clearly have too much time on my hands..i completed the task in 3 hours...and it was generally recieved well...if your gonna pay a fiver of your kids inheritance on a game..you may as well get involved..its only a game alan!!
Kev.
Thursday, 18 November 2010
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
The Final Whistle...The Return of the Toni Report!
The Final Whistle
Is back “phoenix from the flames of blissett” for a special editon!
Also returning Is the Toni Report!!! Our legendary shoot from the commentary box coach of the daggers brand and “getitupemutd”
First we check out on the Daggers FML Football Franchise…
Daggers UTD-GW Valderamma: The Youth Project: Regens and Academy built..no grads yet!! Ho ho!
Having just disposed of all but 2 senior players from the original pool of wannabee regens Daggers Utd are now focused on youth..Currently around 50th in the youth rankings..but probably should be a bit higher up..but until they sort out different youth categories for 16,17,18,19 and 21 this is where we will expect to see the Daggers Kids.
Dagenham and Romford UTD: GW Turkyilmaz: The 27-30 club!
All players are aged between 27-30 and all from the original pool except 1 player purchased.
Current Ranking 603rd, no youth team- The Paul Walker Cone Academy was built on 28th April current grads zero..the special bus hasn’t delivered any yet.
Dagenham and Romford AFC:GW Voller: the 21-30 club + mexio youth academy..total grads 3
Currently 776th in the world rankings…the long ball game being played here..5th in the 2nd run of EFA comps..and a healthy projected finance..current transfer fund 1m…this is for a rainy day or for when all the rest of the clubs go bust cos the owe the florist too much money for flowers!
Daggers Glory UTD: Gw Butragueno: The im not sure why ive got this account team!
Currently ranked 554th in the rankings and 9th in the reception football league standings..Youth academy in Holland..have received 2 grads and neither of them are going to be playing in “shexy football”
GET IT UP EM UTD! GW Lemerre: Simply a drunk subs..got home from a few lucky ones with the lads and thought it would be funny to get a 5th account! The mrs loves its..Sega 4.99 on the old daily text fro the bank! I`ll have to cancel a couple soon..once the old free subs run out on 3 of them from various prizes we won during the Christmas prize bonanza thing before reset!
The Toni Report
So FML is reset and we are all still bloody moaning..ive seen it all this last few weeks…sour grapes..moaning about AI winning the league, people telling us there quitting on the forums..and I bet they don’t…you cant put this down kids!! `Rage quitting` was quite a fasion for a few weeks…oh ive changed my mind…please can I have some money to get some more players..cos I think I learned from my mistakes..oh yeh sure..have some cash buddy…knock yerself out..you get some more attention..coochy coochy coo!
How about the big RT biting the dust…well im not to sorry to see he go..i was often in the headmasters office getting told off with smilies and party hats…the new regime has already flexed its muscle and caused chaos in the market place chat..its great..we can discuss why managers..are trying to flog 85k mv players for 1.7m!! KABOoOOOM! All we need is a few of the photo shop kids to do some nifty work with a rubber and an air brush and advertise him as a potential king of zamunda to the African nation of kiwake mular! And we have ourselves the next Didier drogba! Bingo!! Oh actually he`s not he`s a 3 star potential player that would probably only make it at some Sunday league team in the blue square league south league 2 reserve league!
The match engine is the main topic of discussion on the forums and the main reason for people quitting… …”if you cant beat em join em” its simple..stop moaning play narrow and stick 3 big lads up front!! I cant believe you haven’t thought of this “Double face palm!”
Is it me or do the games take longer to play now..i keep having to check with the bench to see if the lads are set to fast speed…I can now make a whole flask of coffee last a whole game!! It saves going back to the burger van ever ten minutes..speaking of burger vans..when can we get these from the Rep points store…Larry the Lion is the only amusing thing worth purchasing of late…having the black leopard mascot scares the kids..so that’s no good..give us a burger van to put on the pitch or a picture of an old rusty tractor!!
Back to the Car lot for toni this week…time for him to boof up the quiff and sell some cut and shutters to the poles!
“managing a football team is like making love to the wife
or failing that a beautiful women”
And finnally...
<:colour#4281545523>larsson lolby please <:default#>
<:colour#4281545523>we have 48 in the Keane Chat <:emoticon#67><:default#>
come on now..cant you boys all play in the same chat rooms..do u really have to stay on your own sects...its like the "Gracious church of our lord the saviour of FML" new age churches popping up everywhere...its a community thing i guess.. oh not its not..its a lets have our own private chat room because of the takeover the lobby kids in the main world..get it up em utd!!
After the first publish of the lastest final whistle..we had complaints from our avvid reader MR Matthew Thomas of farmer land in colchester...after trawling the acrhives of google images..i found a random matt thomas picture..i believe this is him...
If you see him talking rubbish in the EFA chat room in valderamma..dont worry its because he`s been smoking manure flavoured roll ups..give em up son!
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
The top 24 do`s and donts!
Things to do and not to do when playing FML.
1. You must insert and amusing “middle” name into your screen name
2. You must never interact within anyone under the age of 18 as they seem to be better than you at everything, they know the answers to everything, they are quicker witted than you and all appear to want to go into politics’. God help us
3. Do not ever get chatting to anyone from a “mafia” based cult from Scotland.Do not interact with anyone who delivers milk and lives next to a graveyard...yes these people play fml
4. Learn how to sell utter rubbish for a profit...this will help your ebay career.
5. DO not ever get involved with discussions in the lobby full stop.
6. Never insert amusing adverts trying to sell mahogany sideboards in the market place..this isn’t Ebay.
7. Never Link any external sites in the lobby..even if its only for a cooling fan for a PC..this will get you a talking to by a support moderator.
8. Never offer to do Reports on your FA without first seeing a counsellor as the FML mail setup is worse than trying to send an EMAIL via AOL webmail.
9. Try and get the most irritating colour for your name so everyone puts you on ignore.
10. Try and help as much as you can in help even if there is 14 chat helpers online at once..you then get told “thanks but no thanks” when applying for a job
11. Learn the “foth” language..this includes “FU”, “FO” “Waxer” , “Cone” and “Kent”
12. Learn how to spam the EFA room with the devil emoticon
13. Remember your in a new world now and try not to discuss too much your previous worlds..even if you have been in more than you can actually remember
14. To remain unnoticed by anyone do not bid crazy money for youth players..as this will spark a 300 page discussion in your in box.
15. Never Argue with officially appointed people in the game..as they know best..honest.
16. The basics..no swearing, no racist jibes,talking about the church, or posting tasteless but highly amusing jokes that someone just text you on your iphone
17. Get as many Subscriptions as possible so it looks like you have too much time on your hands....and this way everyone get confused as to which gameworld you are in and then cancel them all at once and see people loose there jobs.
18. Get banned from ALL FML gameworlds then appear in a gw after the reset just incase SI run out of money.
19. Have the TV on whilst playing FML even tho your not actually watching it..thats what they invented I player and newsgroup download for. Turn it off, think of the Emissions!! vote green!
20. If you badly need a to go for a piss..go for a piss..”just one more game”, turns into an hour later and you have probably burst your bladder
21. Create an amusing blog to vent your frustrations on…but whatever you do don’t make it into a documentary
22. DO not sit up till midnight waiting for rankings to update..as they do every hour now!!
23. When signing into your chosen gw..please remember which world you in so you don’t make yourself look a right tit in help.
24. And Finnaly..do not whatever you do..feed a FML manager after midnight..and Deffinately do not let him see sunlight!! Oh and if you have a wife or family…make sure you have a picture of them on your desk so you don’t mistake them for being the cleaning company.
25. AND dont be embarrassed of your surname...just putting "Brad" or "Dave" or some other silly thing like "Don" or even the most annoying "SIR" in place of your full name is not good for your self esteem...man up!
Thursday, 29 April 2010
Duffy in slur at Daggers Manager...
To the bat cave! oh no its the SI forums..
So...Richy T has been shuffled from power...theres a dedicated thread put up in memory of the "Great man" and i made a few comments...and eventually Duffy tells me to shut up...WELL `duffy` dont put these kind of posts in a public forum...i know anyone reading this (rik) will say STFU Kev..but nigh on short of putting flowers around the forum like they do when somone dies in a car crash...its just ludicrous..IF Rt was that well liked and well thought of at SI or Sega surely they would have found a job for him?
These things happen..i got out of supermarket management some months ago now because they were removing a tier of management..even tho i would have been safe for a while..things change quickly...as it does in any buisness..
I get all the "he done loads for me", "he helped me in my life", im sure he did..but the long and the short of it is...you were a moderator in a FOOTBALL MANAGEMENT SIMULATOR and he was all of a sudden your best mate..well great..im sure he pays your mortgage for you as well
People move on loose there jobs, homes every day..im sure he saw this coming and made plans for the future...did he do a good job...probably...i dont know..i had many an email from him regarding concerns with the game..his over-use of the emoticons was amusing and his script supplies were legendary...but was he really the "best fwend you can ever have" get a grip..
so ends the RT rant..and as DUFFY said to me in the nicest possible way STFU!
peace.
Saturday, 24 April 2010
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Its all about the Quick play!
Every time i sign into one of my 4 accounts..all i read is a bout Quick play this quick play that...last call...last reminder...starting at 8 blah blah!! What is going on?? Is that all people want now quick plays?? im a bit tired of it in all honesty...and lets be honest..there not really quick...they sometimes spread into the next day where people sign out after they start.
FML has gone down hill a bit lately and im just getting a bit tired of it...the continual lag is a nightmare..every night in my main account in valderdrama.
The biggest thing that is currently annoying me..is the continual mail messages when someone wins something with...oooh well done..up the st johns or up the greaves...get a grip people..those days have gone..your in new worlds now..forget all that and move on...its highly annoying...
what we need is some MR T type action...
"whats this home boy..you missing your old world? you want to play with your old buddies in the old world..chatting in the new world chat rooms with all your freinds...mix with the new boys in the new chat room...your old gameworld is gone
its finished..its been deleted...GET SOME NUTS"
Tommorow night...Daggers Manager to record an interview with the GW1 lads accross the pond...im not sure what to expect with in terms of questions...this all came about after i had a little dig on the facebook post around only speaking to fanboys and mods...then i thought..am i a fan boy?? nope...and im deffinatly not a mod..and never will be one..my rap sheet is bigger than the servers can handle!! ive only every had 1 yellow card amazingly in all my FML career...hopefully i`ll be good enough to go onto there broadcastable pod cast...i`ll try my best to give the views of the wider community and not the fan boy base!!
FML has gone down hill a bit lately and im just getting a bit tired of it...the continual lag is a nightmare..every night in my main account in valderdrama.
The biggest thing that is currently annoying me..is the continual mail messages when someone wins something with...oooh well done..up the st johns or up the greaves...get a grip people..those days have gone..your in new worlds now..forget all that and move on...its highly annoying...
what we need is some MR T type action...
"whats this home boy..you missing your old world? you want to play with your old buddies in the old world..chatting in the new world chat rooms with all your freinds...mix with the new boys in the new chat room...your old gameworld is gone
its finished..its been deleted...GET SOME NUTS"
Tommorow night...Daggers Manager to record an interview with the GW1 lads accross the pond...im not sure what to expect with in terms of questions...this all came about after i had a little dig on the facebook post around only speaking to fanboys and mods...then i thought..am i a fan boy?? nope...and im deffinatly not a mod..and never will be one..my rap sheet is bigger than the servers can handle!! ive only every had 1 yellow card amazingly in all my FML career...hopefully i`ll be good enough to go onto there broadcastable pod cast...i`ll try my best to give the views of the wider community and not the fan boy base!!
Tuesday, 30 March 2010
Lag or a Blag!
ITs not often i find myself blogging something serious and thought provoking...but theres a first time for everything!!
right lets do some maths...10 gw`s with 1000 users in each..thats 10,000 subscribers or paying customers as the great british supermakets would say...so 10,000*4.99 is 50,000 give or take a few ££ as there are subbers who still have freebies offerings from previous gw`s...
So to the point...50k per month turnover for FML roughly...not alot really is it..when u pay out wages and power and server stuff etc..
so why has the lag been so appauling in all worlds since launch...i found myself defending Sega/SI over the last few days but actually if you look its just poor management. From what ive heard its about personal data being retrieved from the old gw`s which while the old gw`s are still running are taking up valuble server space for the new compacted gw`s
Lets look at this futher..when the restart happened i think most peeked at around 350-390 online at once...as to be expected to try out the shiny new gameworlds..this has now dropped from what ive seen to around 180-220 in most worlds..im only judging this on what ive seen in the worlds im in.
but why hasnt the data retrieval been done over the last few months? why has beta not shown up all the bugs that have now been shown up since restart..the academy fiasco..well maybe because beta is poorly managed..the bug posting process is terrible..posting on a forum in the hope your post might be seen by a developer..just needs to be sharper so this kind of thing doesnt happen...im sure FM10 is played and played and played by paid beta testers to ensure retail is as good as possible..even then you find patches are released hours after retail release..but its an evolving game..even games like command and conquer 4 have already had patches applied to them...
the biggest problem SI have with FML is always going to be the funding..its such a NICH market mmo..and especially football management games..its the biggest game on the planet with millions being spend worldwide...will this ever happen to an MMO game like FML? well probably not as to SEGA its not the next sonic the hedgehog..its a football sim to a very small in comparison market...will we see versions on the iphone or console? i doubt it...theres so much more to get right before they even look at this...get the basics like lag and gameplay with finances and academies before the nice stuff...im sure most would settle for that.
will we be playing FML in 12 months time? im not sure i can answer that..you hear FM 2.0 will have the 3d Engine from FM09/10 in...but surely the current servers cant handle the current game let alone overloading it with more graphical content...
whats the answer? who knows...but i do feel theres too many people slapping people on the backm in beta...the in word is the `fanboys` the people who say yes to everythying..im not sure even tho they say the do..actually lads..that ideas a piling steaming pile of portsmouth finances..just dire..
you have to have objective views in an evolving game like this..maybe its the way its put accross...
on the whole the game is better and will last longer..but get the basic right first before anything!
right lets do some maths...10 gw`s with 1000 users in each..thats 10,000 subscribers or paying customers as the great british supermakets would say...so 10,000*4.99 is 50,000 give or take a few ££ as there are subbers who still have freebies offerings from previous gw`s...
So to the point...50k per month turnover for FML roughly...not alot really is it..when u pay out wages and power and server stuff etc..
so why has the lag been so appauling in all worlds since launch...i found myself defending Sega/SI over the last few days but actually if you look its just poor management. From what ive heard its about personal data being retrieved from the old gw`s which while the old gw`s are still running are taking up valuble server space for the new compacted gw`s
Lets look at this futher..when the restart happened i think most peeked at around 350-390 online at once...as to be expected to try out the shiny new gameworlds..this has now dropped from what ive seen to around 180-220 in most worlds..im only judging this on what ive seen in the worlds im in.
but why hasnt the data retrieval been done over the last few months? why has beta not shown up all the bugs that have now been shown up since restart..the academy fiasco..well maybe because beta is poorly managed..the bug posting process is terrible..posting on a forum in the hope your post might be seen by a developer..just needs to be sharper so this kind of thing doesnt happen...im sure FM10 is played and played and played by paid beta testers to ensure retail is as good as possible..even then you find patches are released hours after retail release..but its an evolving game..even games like command and conquer 4 have already had patches applied to them...
the biggest problem SI have with FML is always going to be the funding..its such a NICH market mmo..and especially football management games..its the biggest game on the planet with millions being spend worldwide...will this ever happen to an MMO game like FML? well probably not as to SEGA its not the next sonic the hedgehog..its a football sim to a very small in comparison market...will we see versions on the iphone or console? i doubt it...theres so much more to get right before they even look at this...get the basics like lag and gameplay with finances and academies before the nice stuff...im sure most would settle for that.
will we be playing FML in 12 months time? im not sure i can answer that..you hear FM 2.0 will have the 3d Engine from FM09/10 in...but surely the current servers cant handle the current game let alone overloading it with more graphical content...
whats the answer? who knows...but i do feel theres too many people slapping people on the backm in beta...the in word is the `fanboys` the people who say yes to everythying..im not sure even tho they say the do..actually lads..that ideas a piling steaming pile of portsmouth finances..just dire..
you have to have objective views in an evolving game like this..maybe its the way its put accross...
on the whole the game is better and will last longer..but get the basic right first before anything!
Friday, 26 March 2010
Its all about Alan!
The phrase of the moment..
`Thats Lovely Alan`
everyone knows a dave right...but i can bet your life you know an Alan as well...but the whole gag is based around confusion..
try it..if someone texts you..reply with `Thats lovely Alan` the recipitent will look at there phone in some confusion..yes yes..i know its dumb! but life is dumb!:-)
Back to footballing matters...The Daggers have had a patchy start to pre-season even with the early first games promise...so it was time to turn to the youth! yet again the big youth wage battle is on..and having missed out on a few during the early bouts of crazy wage paying i managed to snap a couple of kids up from the regens! who needs an academy and waiting 7-14 days for some right dodgy tatt to come out of it..you`d have a better chance of getting some promising kids from the local teen disco!
Amsuingly i did manage to force someone to pay 7k wages after a late minute 6999k wage bit! For what is no more than a shot in the dark and `his stats look good to me` sure 7k will be alright, after all i did get a right load of old hackney marsh rejects in my original dirty 50!
What you really need is David Gold and Sullivan to give you a team talk...that`l do the trick..i see Franco Zola has banned them from the dressing room...hmmm...i know you own the place lads...but id rather you didnt talk to the lads at the moment..there a bit sensitive and furnishing them with copies of the Sunday sport will just un-settle them.
I think i`ll get them into my dressing room with some topless lovelies! boost the old morale a bit..thats what we need in the RP store..some good old adult smutt!! you give us the finger and a pile of poo..how bout some tits! theres plenty of tits in the world! may as well have a emoticon to go with them!
The Drunken late night purchase...had a few too many blue cans or green ones with world cup tokens on them? made some terrible purchases...shame!! have you not learnt yet...we`ve been beta testing this for 2 years now and we still purchase tatt!! its like a drunken ebay bid!
Have SI not learnt yet...they have opened a new LIVE world..Franscescoli!! i really hope for there sake its not full of quad accounters just looking to start again...i am guilty of this..i do have 4 subs going at the moment..2 regen and 2 returning stars..although i can be buggered if i can tell the diference..theres not one name i recognised in my starting 50 in the RS worlds..some people got kieron dyer and andy johnson! whats all that about! i thought they were suposed to be all even these pools..oh my mistake! there both inj in here as well!! shame
More from the Daggers in the next few days when i can think of something else to rant about!!
`Thats Lovely Alan`
everyone knows a dave right...but i can bet your life you know an Alan as well...but the whole gag is based around confusion..
try it..if someone texts you..reply with `Thats lovely Alan` the recipitent will look at there phone in some confusion..yes yes..i know its dumb! but life is dumb!:-)
Back to footballing matters...The Daggers have had a patchy start to pre-season even with the early first games promise...so it was time to turn to the youth! yet again the big youth wage battle is on..and having missed out on a few during the early bouts of crazy wage paying i managed to snap a couple of kids up from the regens! who needs an academy and waiting 7-14 days for some right dodgy tatt to come out of it..you`d have a better chance of getting some promising kids from the local teen disco!
Amsuingly i did manage to force someone to pay 7k wages after a late minute 6999k wage bit! For what is no more than a shot in the dark and `his stats look good to me` sure 7k will be alright, after all i did get a right load of old hackney marsh rejects in my original dirty 50!
What you really need is David Gold and Sullivan to give you a team talk...that`l do the trick..i see Franco Zola has banned them from the dressing room...hmmm...i know you own the place lads...but id rather you didnt talk to the lads at the moment..there a bit sensitive and furnishing them with copies of the Sunday sport will just un-settle them.
I think i`ll get them into my dressing room with some topless lovelies! boost the old morale a bit..thats what we need in the RP store..some good old adult smutt!! you give us the finger and a pile of poo..how bout some tits! theres plenty of tits in the world! may as well have a emoticon to go with them!
The Drunken late night purchase...had a few too many blue cans or green ones with world cup tokens on them? made some terrible purchases...shame!! have you not learnt yet...we`ve been beta testing this for 2 years now and we still purchase tatt!! its like a drunken ebay bid!
Have SI not learnt yet...they have opened a new LIVE world..Franscescoli!! i really hope for there sake its not full of quad accounters just looking to start again...i am guilty of this..i do have 4 subs going at the moment..2 regen and 2 returning stars..although i can be buggered if i can tell the diference..theres not one name i recognised in my starting 50 in the RS worlds..some people got kieron dyer and andy johnson! whats all that about! i thought they were suposed to be all even these pools..oh my mistake! there both inj in here as well!! shame
More from the Daggers in the next few days when i can think of something else to rant about!!
Thursday, 25 March 2010
Daggers UTD arrive in Vallderrama!
The Daggers have made the jump from Blissett to there new home of Valderama..and where not playing golf!
Although we have left our coaching team behind us,im sure Swiss Toni and Louis Balfour will soon be making a guest appearence in the blog over the next few weeks.
It looks like the new breed are making a good start to there new careers.
With our Legendary Blog coming with us, hopefully this will be the new home of Daggers Utd!! *shakes rattle and waves scarf*
So pull up a comfy sofa, grab a beer from the fridge or stick the kettle …and get on board!
its gonna be one hell of a ride!
Kev.
Although we have left our coaching team behind us,im sure Swiss Toni and Louis Balfour will soon be making a guest appearence in the blog over the next few weeks.
It looks like the new breed are making a good start to there new careers.
With our Legendary Blog coming with us, hopefully this will be the new home of Daggers Utd!! *shakes rattle and waves scarf*
So pull up a comfy sofa, grab a beer from the fridge or stick the kettle …and get on board!
its gonna be one hell of a ride!
Kev.
Thursday, 18 March 2010
The Crowd are on the Pitch....
14 months have gone and Blissett as it is now will soon be blowing the final whistle..
14 Seasons ago / A crack set of Football Teams where sent to a bad FML GAMEWORLD by a Football Management Tribunal court for a foul they didn't commit and a goal that was clearly in!
These Teams promptly escaped from Duffy & Collyer maximum security Compounded GAMWORLD to join Blissett. Today, still wanted by Richie `the General` Tebutt and the support team mods from SI headquarters, they survive as Football managers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can join .. BLISSETT!!
its been a hell of a journey...bit like going round on the tube and getting stuck on the northern line for 3 hours..
How did the Daggers fair over the last 14 months....i would say `Iain Dowie` winning 22 official FA titles (most of them youth, ill say that before bradley starts meh meh at me!), but in reality the daggers would have ended up in the championship..just like Hull will be with Dowie at the helm.
But its been a blast...from the Early bad boy days of Swiss Toni..to the Current Daggers Argies!! its kept me sane from the real world..6 months not working and it kept me going!!
The weekly blog with snippets from the real world of football kept us entertained.
The Banter will always be the best thing about a game like this...the discussions the arguements..the bar room brawls...the car crashes the cone factor..the molloy factor..the bradleee factor...the Ross Factor...and durn durn durn..the Jason Factor!! i quote "The FA:user#632> says: (23:20):08 nobody seems to ever want to give help on tactics in here" please note the time...its 23:20..yes PM and do you know why jason!! cos were all going to bed cos were a bit knackered!! we`ll leave you with Cleon and Bradley...the night boys!!
A Fair few have come and gone in the last 14 months...but the hardcore have kept at it from the start...The Cream of blissett...the sunbed hoggers...theres a few to mention...Ally, Tom , Stephen (even tho he did bugger off for a bit) Matty Mollloy, Arne, Bart, The Good Life..(leanne) apparently, lase, Jeff, the list goes on...then theres the mods...a fair few have been to blissett to learn the ropes....i had nothing to do with any of them leaving honest....Glenno!! the legend went awol..then they gave Bradleee the powers of the force!! even Diccon got his little shield!! The organisers...Eric `mcd`s wifi` Western, Gary `up your pineapple fritter` your knicked son Harrison! Ben `SON` Hibbert, legends in there own right..the list goes on and on!!
Its difficult to remember them all, its the community that makes this game..the Trialist world cups, the google powered quizzes, the youth FA with more competitions than u can ever think of, the who can get muted first game, XFACTOR WEEK, There was even a song written about some welsh bloke...good times have been had by all...
a few highlights from previous blogs...
The Diccon Brown Column..Training Guru!
"Being as it holiday time, this week's seen my players on a world tour.
First stop was Spain where players were left in the centre of Madrid wearing signed Ronaldo shirts. Those that were left have proven agility and will never be phased by anything again
Next was Africa for speed training with cheetahs
USA included entry into the Ultimate Fighting Championship where da Costa my red and yellow card expert excelled. He has since dyed his hair red and yellow to celebrate.
France saw players perfecting their Gallic shrug to help in protesting their innocence.
After Skeleton Bobsled in Austria none of my players are worried by diving headers anymore.
And after a final stop in Amsterdam now has my wingers flying."
The Toni Report
Have you been hurt in an accident that wasn’t your fault? Would you like to keep 100% of the compensation! GOD im glad im back at work...i couldn’t suffer anymore daytime TV..its getting more like America every day! Although i have missed watching home and away for the fit lovely`s and countdown and deal or no deal...but hey thats what the V+ is for!! You have to be kidding me...your not gonna record that tat are you...erm no! So with not as much time to while away the hours playing FML, it’s good to be back in the working class. Its good for the soul...if you have to play a computer game this much you have problems..serious problems...get help! Its also come to my attention that am calling everyone SON at the moment at work...im going to take Ben Hibbert to court for corrupting me!! And im sure i`ll be able to keep 100% of the compensation! Its what that advert said!! Blissett the gameworld the legends...is having an average of 35-40 managers at any one time good? Not really...is it good that all official FA games are delayed for a week?? Hell no! Is it good for Official SI appointed people to be condescending to customers? Hell yeah! Of course it is! Its in the Official appointed book for all officially appointed people surely! Theres some good and some bad but theres not much point in moaning...CAN WE HELP? HELL no! Cos your not an officially appointed person and anyway we don’t like the way you talk...you`ve had enough chances i tell ya! Maybe im a bit too jazzy for you? Or maybe i actually enjoy the game and don’t want to be mugged off but power crazy people with extra buttons to press! Being an officially appointed person in an online MMO might float some peoples boat..but for me channel 424 on Virgin Media is better than that! Toni.
A few Classic Lobby Quotes:
Sam Worger says: (16:34:48) I can tell if there going to be a superstar when there in the womb!
Ross Allan says: (16:39:51)
A moderator said to me what part of don’t swear don’t you understand I said well would you believe me if I suffered from dyslexia
Jim _: says: (16:35:41) Ah man my cat just put her foot in my coffee
Andrew Hunter says: (19:03:36)
It’s me who needs money, that tom guy keeps tempting me with nice youths
Brad: says: (12:43:08)What exactly is the problem, I was eating pie so was afk..
Jim Hamilton says: (22:59:09)
'life getting you down? try new JML Swine Flu!'.
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (21:02:01)
Leather jackets from Burton with built in hoodies, gives you that Justin Timberlake look
Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:32:24) I Like them HEAVY
theres more than i can type in here...just funny times!! its the bit we all forget about...after all its just a football manager game!!
so where to next...not sure really...will we be here in another 14 months time..possibly...or will we all be playing settlers 7, Command and Conquer 4 or the new CIV game at the end of the year...of course we`ll still be here..you just cant put it down..not matter how much it annoys the hell out of you..football manager is in the blood...well not really...its just part of the routine now...will you be checking back every hour to see where your ranked..will you be sitting up at midnight to get the regens in...will you be bantering in the lobby...who knows...but for now we`ll put the final few nails in the coffin of the Great Blissett gw and float her down the River Nile....we`ll end on a song..to the Mod Legend of Blissett..the one and only....Deano Philpin..a legend in his own Toy shop...
If i havent given you a mention its because im wiping away the tears...its been emotional lads and michy!! have a good final week in blissett...and dont forget to save yourself a sunbed in the new worlds before the germans get there first!:-)
Kev.
14 Seasons ago / A crack set of Football Teams where sent to a bad FML GAMEWORLD by a Football Management Tribunal court for a foul they didn't commit and a goal that was clearly in!
These Teams promptly escaped from Duffy & Collyer maximum security Compounded GAMWORLD to join Blissett. Today, still wanted by Richie `the General` Tebutt and the support team mods from SI headquarters, they survive as Football managers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can join .. BLISSETT!!
its been a hell of a journey...bit like going round on the tube and getting stuck on the northern line for 3 hours..
How did the Daggers fair over the last 14 months....i would say `Iain Dowie` winning 22 official FA titles (most of them youth, ill say that before bradley starts meh meh at me!), but in reality the daggers would have ended up in the championship..just like Hull will be with Dowie at the helm.
But its been a blast...from the Early bad boy days of Swiss Toni..to the Current Daggers Argies!! its kept me sane from the real world..6 months not working and it kept me going!!
The weekly blog with snippets from the real world of football kept us entertained.
The Banter will always be the best thing about a game like this...the discussions the arguements..the bar room brawls...the car crashes the cone factor..the molloy factor..the bradleee factor...the Ross Factor...and durn durn durn..the Jason Factor!! i quote "The FA:user#632> says: (23:20):08 nobody seems to ever want to give help on tactics in here" please note the time...its 23:20..yes PM and do you know why jason!! cos were all going to bed cos were a bit knackered!! we`ll leave you with Cleon and Bradley...the night boys!!
A Fair few have come and gone in the last 14 months...but the hardcore have kept at it from the start...The Cream of blissett...the sunbed hoggers...theres a few to mention...Ally, Tom , Stephen (even tho he did bugger off for a bit) Matty Mollloy, Arne, Bart, The Good Life..(leanne) apparently, lase, Jeff, the list goes on...then theres the mods...a fair few have been to blissett to learn the ropes....i had nothing to do with any of them leaving honest....Glenno!! the legend went awol..then they gave Bradleee the powers of the force!! even Diccon got his little shield!! The organisers...Eric `mcd`s wifi` Western, Gary `up your pineapple fritter` your knicked son Harrison! Ben `SON` Hibbert, legends in there own right..the list goes on and on!!
Its difficult to remember them all, its the community that makes this game..the Trialist world cups, the google powered quizzes, the youth FA with more competitions than u can ever think of, the who can get muted first game, XFACTOR WEEK, There was even a song written about some welsh bloke...good times have been had by all...
a few highlights from previous blogs...
The Diccon Brown Column..Training Guru!
"Being as it holiday time, this week's seen my players on a world tour.
First stop was Spain where players were left in the centre of Madrid wearing signed Ronaldo shirts. Those that were left have proven agility and will never be phased by anything again
Next was Africa for speed training with cheetahs
USA included entry into the Ultimate Fighting Championship where da Costa my red and yellow card expert excelled. He has since dyed his hair red and yellow to celebrate.
France saw players perfecting their Gallic shrug to help in protesting their innocence.
After Skeleton Bobsled in Austria none of my players are worried by diving headers anymore.
And after a final stop in Amsterdam now has my wingers flying."
The Toni Report
Have you been hurt in an accident that wasn’t your fault? Would you like to keep 100% of the compensation! GOD im glad im back at work...i couldn’t suffer anymore daytime TV..its getting more like America every day! Although i have missed watching home and away for the fit lovely`s and countdown and deal or no deal...but hey thats what the V+ is for!! You have to be kidding me...your not gonna record that tat are you...erm no! So with not as much time to while away the hours playing FML, it’s good to be back in the working class. Its good for the soul...if you have to play a computer game this much you have problems..serious problems...get help! Its also come to my attention that am calling everyone SON at the moment at work...im going to take Ben Hibbert to court for corrupting me!! And im sure i`ll be able to keep 100% of the compensation! Its what that advert said!! Blissett the gameworld the legends...is having an average of 35-40 managers at any one time good? Not really...is it good that all official FA games are delayed for a week?? Hell no! Is it good for Official SI appointed people to be condescending to customers? Hell yeah! Of course it is! Its in the Official appointed book for all officially appointed people surely! Theres some good and some bad but theres not much point in moaning...CAN WE HELP? HELL no! Cos your not an officially appointed person and anyway we don’t like the way you talk...you`ve had enough chances i tell ya! Maybe im a bit too jazzy for you? Or maybe i actually enjoy the game and don’t want to be mugged off but power crazy people with extra buttons to press! Being an officially appointed person in an online MMO might float some peoples boat..but for me channel 424 on Virgin Media is better than that! Toni.
A few Classic Lobby Quotes:
Sam Worger says: (16:34:48) I can tell if there going to be a superstar when there in the womb!
Ross Allan says: (16:39:51)
A moderator said to me what part of don’t swear don’t you understand I said well would you believe me if I suffered from dyslexia
Jim _: says: (16:35:41) Ah man my cat just put her foot in my coffee
Andrew Hunter says: (19:03:36)
It’s me who needs money, that tom guy keeps tempting me with nice youths
Brad: says: (12:43:08)What exactly is the problem, I was eating pie so was afk..
Jim Hamilton says: (22:59:09)
'life getting you down? try new JML Swine Flu!'.
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (21:02:01)
Leather jackets from Burton with built in hoodies, gives you that Justin Timberlake look
Andreas 'Kenny Dalglish' Timmelstad: (19:32:24) I Like them HEAVY
theres more than i can type in here...just funny times!! its the bit we all forget about...after all its just a football manager game!!
so where to next...not sure really...will we be here in another 14 months time..possibly...or will we all be playing settlers 7, Command and Conquer 4 or the new CIV game at the end of the year...of course we`ll still be here..you just cant put it down..not matter how much it annoys the hell out of you..football manager is in the blood...well not really...its just part of the routine now...will you be checking back every hour to see where your ranked..will you be sitting up at midnight to get the regens in...will you be bantering in the lobby...who knows...but for now we`ll put the final few nails in the coffin of the Great Blissett gw and float her down the River Nile....we`ll end on a song..to the Mod Legend of Blissett..the one and only....Deano Philpin..a legend in his own Toy shop...
If i havent given you a mention its because im wiping away the tears...its been emotional lads and michy!! have a good final week in blissett...and dont forget to save yourself a sunbed in the new worlds before the germans get there first!:-)
Kev.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Probably one of the funniest Forums posts..
And I'm sitting at my chair thinking "Well done lads, thats what I pay you for"...
But little did I know...
I am pretty convinced that the following conversation took place in my opponents bench-
-Assistant Coach:: Hey Coach, the medics are taking our Striker away, we need to make a sub
-Coach takes a look at his bench, sees only one guy sitting- :: Get him in
-Assistant Coach:: But but.. he's a Centre-Back?!?
-Coach sits back down on the bench and lights up a cigare-:: Bah, kids these days, they have no faith... WE'RE THE AI GDAMN IT, WE CANT LOSE!!!
Needless to say, 93 odd minutes later, my 4* squad lost 2-0 to a 3* squad filled with a bunch of 34yos , with a DC as a solo striker serving one goal, and scoring the second.His entire teams AQ fees added up where less than two of my U20s MV added up.
And while I sit there, watching the match stats, trying to think it rationaly, find out what kind of mistakes I did, try to understand why my 18acc,16pace-multiplestatsabove18mentals-18teqn-20dribble-3milion worth Wingers just got -TOTALLY- erased by some unknown 33yold 10acc-highermental13 fullbacks (who btw my niece would outrun if I dared telling her that we hid icecream by the corner flag) and how my DCs got outplayed by another DC, then something hit me.. and I saw a white light, and was promptly abducted by allies and ... well not exactly.
The clusterfck ragefit came, and it was the bookcase that paid the price, because hey, bookcases are much cheaper than 50inc plasmas or laptops.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE IN ALL HONESTY?!?
In between 3 seasons now, and with the 1.3 arrival, we have gone:
1) From semi decent playing goalkeepers, to goalkeepers playing like a candidate for the Special Olympics to Cyborg goalkeepers who enter the field carrying a wheelcart full of bricks and tar 5 minutes prior the game, and build a MOFOOKIN wall between the posts, then sit down and have tea
2) From DCs scoring 1 per two from corners, to DCs missing headers from 5 foot 8 jumping/10 heading forwards
3) From winning more than 65% of your games vs weaker teams, to getting a draw and consider it a 'good' result.
4) From the age of 'You have 18acc/18pace/12 finishing , dont worry 1 per 2 scoring is guaranteed' to the 'What? 20 first touch/20 finishing/20 off the ball/20 composure 1.9mil AQ Fee striker? We DONT CARE! Go miss 5 ccc's vs randomjoe WC goalkeeper.
5) From the age of 20% of the conceeded goals coming from tactical mistakes / player mistakes / own goals to 55% , yes for my team which is AEONS better than when I started, of the goals conceeded being mistakes ( missed header, missed interception , missed the bus, you name it) from defenders or goalkeepers (I even had mistake led to goal on my lone forward who plays so attacking that he rarely if ever gets back into our own pitch side)
6) From the age where you signed a DC with 130-150k AQ Fee and decisions/determination/positioning/influence/teamwork around 17 , and marking/tackling around 16 and you felt you are watching Beckenbauer reborn, to DCs with 20's in pretty much all important attributes puting the ball in your own net with the composure and attitude of the biggest HHN forward ( I have clips where the ball is 6 yards away from my posts, the closest opposing player is 15 yards away , and my DC just slides down and tackles the ball into my net )
7) From the age of actually sweating and spending your valuable skill points to unlock tactical skills which are by FAR the most important ones along with your players abilities to win a match, to the age of people clicking -Create tactics, -Find FOTM tact, click accept, and AFK to victories unheard off (Got examples of people who dont even select their initial squads, they let the AI handdle that as well so to speak)
8) From the age of clicking lineups and realising you're up against 460 and rushing into tactical changes to switch your team strat to perform against that formation to the age of conceeding from a 460 TWICE in the same match from 30 yard screamers coming from 12 long shot attribute players ( Holy hell, I mean alright, its predetermined that the match will be a 2-2 draw, but anyone with half a brain knows by now that 460 is all about controling the ball and luring your defenders outside to get through balls in or play one twos between amcs with high dribbling/flair options not shooting on freaking sight)
9) From the age of facing a very challenging opponent and try to outsmart them in the field to the age of watching the team captains pick coin sides in the middle, flip the coin, and who ever wins, get the 3 points for the day.
10) From the age of players actually being smart with getting cards to the age of players with mentals good enough for nuclear physics tackling twofooted a lone mc somewhere in the midfield after a cross ( WTF tackling a player with the ball in the air, what are they thinking?!) and getting insta red cards
11) From the age of red cards being actually a HEAVY drawback to the age where the team who goes man down at 15th-20th minute will 99% win the game ( The other 1% will be a draw )
12) From the age where you conceeded from a free kick and click on the scoring player and see Free Kicks 19+ and think 'well it figures' to the age of conceeding from a free kick and click on scoring player and see Free Kicks 12 and think 'well it figures'
13) From the age where a 17acc/17pace/18finishing WONDERKID striker would score .8 per game to the age where the same player scores .4 per game even when I specifically build a squad with players just to feed him with chances.
14) From the age of good fullbacks being actually in the database to the age of no-chance-in-hell-to-find-a-semi-decent-fullback-so-pick-someone-with-16acc/14jump/16tackling-and-pray.
Above mentioned examples may seem harsh or even unreal but more or less they have truth inside them.And yea I'm ****ed.And I'm trying to not care about it, but you know what.I want to care, because I like the 'competitiveness' of this game. Thats the only reason to even play it in the first place.Who cares about skins, or about pretty windows or even a 3D engine? I dont. I just want to play vs a human controlled teams and be spurred to get better day by day, learning from mistakes, shafling the cards and try to win as many games as possible.I'm sick and tired of trying to find excuses of why I lost XXX game, why the silly match stats say 25shots/15ontarget/5longshots/6 ccc vs 8 shots/3ontarget/5long shots/0ccc and lose 0-2, sick and tired when the opposition gets a red card in a midfielder before half time and finishes the game with 59% possetion, sick and tired of having 10% of my wins being wins where I got lucky in the field and 35% of my losses being losses where I TOTALLY dominated someone but , oh well you must lose.
Someone needs to come forward and explain things to the core:
-Are the games predetermined-fixxed? Because they sure do feel like that a lot of times.
-Do the hidden stats play a far bigger role than they are supposed to?
-Why does the game currently feel more luck-based than actually tactical based? (Yes I do have a big beef about tactics in game and the way teams perform, I played a two leg match recently, outcome in my home grounds was 3-0 where actually the opposing team ended with 0 shots , yes ZERO shots, then we play in his stadium, first half ends he has ZERO shots again, by 65th minute I'm ahead 2-0, he has 4 shots but none on target, by 73th minute and him having made all 3 subs, he gets his MC injured, but the STUPID DOT NEVER LEAVES THE FIELD , IT JUST STANDS THERE, AND I CANT SELECT THE PLAYER IN THE TACTICS LINEUP TO TELL MY MIDFIELDERS TO STOP TIGHT MARKING HIM BECAUSE DA DA DADADADA HE'S FREAKING DEAD, then all miraciously his team makes 3 shots and scores on all of them and I lose 3-2 because my stupid players kept staying on the injured guy. Btw both mine and his team are 4* rep clubs)
I just noticed this post has gotten freaking long, I wouldnt even read it myself personally, but bleh, I had to say these things. Got a lot more to add as well, but my hand is sore from punching the bookcase, and I need some coffee badly, so cheers, and pray to freakin Lucifer that 1.4 will bring a match engine that will actually -allow- us to do exactly what we are supposed to: Be actual managers.
But little did I know...
I am pretty convinced that the following conversation took place in my opponents bench-
-Assistant Coach:: Hey Coach, the medics are taking our Striker away, we need to make a sub
-Coach takes a look at his bench, sees only one guy sitting- :: Get him in
-Assistant Coach:: But but.. he's a Centre-Back?!?
-Coach sits back down on the bench and lights up a cigare-:: Bah, kids these days, they have no faith... WE'RE THE AI GDAMN IT, WE CANT LOSE!!!
Needless to say, 93 odd minutes later, my 4* squad lost 2-0 to a 3* squad filled with a bunch of 34yos , with a DC as a solo striker serving one goal, and scoring the second.His entire teams AQ fees added up where less than two of my U20s MV added up.
And while I sit there, watching the match stats, trying to think it rationaly, find out what kind of mistakes I did, try to understand why my 18acc,16pace-multiplestatsabove18mentals-18teqn-20dribble-3milion worth Wingers just got -TOTALLY- erased by some unknown 33yold 10acc-highermental13 fullbacks (who btw my niece would outrun if I dared telling her that we hid icecream by the corner flag) and how my DCs got outplayed by another DC, then something hit me.. and I saw a white light, and was promptly abducted by allies and ... well not exactly.
The clusterfck ragefit came, and it was the bookcase that paid the price, because hey, bookcases are much cheaper than 50inc plasmas or laptops.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE IN ALL HONESTY?!?
In between 3 seasons now, and with the 1.3 arrival, we have gone:
1) From semi decent playing goalkeepers, to goalkeepers playing like a candidate for the Special Olympics to Cyborg goalkeepers who enter the field carrying a wheelcart full of bricks and tar 5 minutes prior the game, and build a MOFOOKIN wall between the posts, then sit down and have tea
2) From DCs scoring 1 per two from corners, to DCs missing headers from 5 foot 8 jumping/10 heading forwards
3) From winning more than 65% of your games vs weaker teams, to getting a draw and consider it a 'good' result.
4) From the age of 'You have 18acc/18pace/12 finishing , dont worry 1 per 2 scoring is guaranteed' to the 'What? 20 first touch/20 finishing/20 off the ball/20 composure 1.9mil AQ Fee striker? We DONT CARE! Go miss 5 ccc's vs randomjoe WC goalkeeper.
5) From the age of 20% of the conceeded goals coming from tactical mistakes / player mistakes / own goals to 55% , yes for my team which is AEONS better than when I started, of the goals conceeded being mistakes ( missed header, missed interception , missed the bus, you name it) from defenders or goalkeepers (I even had mistake led to goal on my lone forward who plays so attacking that he rarely if ever gets back into our own pitch side)
6) From the age where you signed a DC with 130-150k AQ Fee and decisions/determination/positioning/influence/teamwork around 17 , and marking/tackling around 16 and you felt you are watching Beckenbauer reborn, to DCs with 20's in pretty much all important attributes puting the ball in your own net with the composure and attitude of the biggest HHN forward ( I have clips where the ball is 6 yards away from my posts, the closest opposing player is 15 yards away , and my DC just slides down and tackles the ball into my net )
7) From the age of actually sweating and spending your valuable skill points to unlock tactical skills which are by FAR the most important ones along with your players abilities to win a match, to the age of people clicking -Create tactics, -Find FOTM tact, click accept, and AFK to victories unheard off (Got examples of people who dont even select their initial squads, they let the AI handdle that as well so to speak)
8) From the age of clicking lineups and realising you're up against 460 and rushing into tactical changes to switch your team strat to perform against that formation to the age of conceeding from a 460 TWICE in the same match from 30 yard screamers coming from 12 long shot attribute players ( Holy hell, I mean alright, its predetermined that the match will be a 2-2 draw, but anyone with half a brain knows by now that 460 is all about controling the ball and luring your defenders outside to get through balls in or play one twos between amcs with high dribbling/flair options not shooting on freaking sight)
9) From the age of facing a very challenging opponent and try to outsmart them in the field to the age of watching the team captains pick coin sides in the middle, flip the coin, and who ever wins, get the 3 points for the day.
10) From the age of players actually being smart with getting cards to the age of players with mentals good enough for nuclear physics tackling twofooted a lone mc somewhere in the midfield after a cross ( WTF tackling a player with the ball in the air, what are they thinking?!) and getting insta red cards
11) From the age of red cards being actually a HEAVY drawback to the age where the team who goes man down at 15th-20th minute will 99% win the game ( The other 1% will be a draw )
12) From the age where you conceeded from a free kick and click on the scoring player and see Free Kicks 19+ and think 'well it figures' to the age of conceeding from a free kick and click on scoring player and see Free Kicks 12 and think 'well it figures'
13) From the age where a 17acc/17pace/18finishing WONDERKID striker would score .8 per game to the age where the same player scores .4 per game even when I specifically build a squad with players just to feed him with chances.
14) From the age of good fullbacks being actually in the database to the age of no-chance-in-hell-to-find-a-semi-decent-fullback-so-pick-someone-with-16acc/14jump/16tackling-and-pray.
Above mentioned examples may seem harsh or even unreal but more or less they have truth inside them.And yea I'm ****ed.And I'm trying to not care about it, but you know what.I want to care, because I like the 'competitiveness' of this game. Thats the only reason to even play it in the first place.Who cares about skins, or about pretty windows or even a 3D engine? I dont. I just want to play vs a human controlled teams and be spurred to get better day by day, learning from mistakes, shafling the cards and try to win as many games as possible.I'm sick and tired of trying to find excuses of why I lost XXX game, why the silly match stats say 25shots/15ontarget/5longshots/6 ccc vs 8 shots/3ontarget/5long shots/0ccc and lose 0-2, sick and tired when the opposition gets a red card in a midfielder before half time and finishes the game with 59% possetion, sick and tired of having 10% of my wins being wins where I got lucky in the field and 35% of my losses being losses where I TOTALLY dominated someone but , oh well you must lose.
Someone needs to come forward and explain things to the core:
-Are the games predetermined-fixxed? Because they sure do feel like that a lot of times.
-Do the hidden stats play a far bigger role than they are supposed to?
-Why does the game currently feel more luck-based than actually tactical based? (Yes I do have a big beef about tactics in game and the way teams perform, I played a two leg match recently, outcome in my home grounds was 3-0 where actually the opposing team ended with 0 shots , yes ZERO shots, then we play in his stadium, first half ends he has ZERO shots again, by 65th minute I'm ahead 2-0, he has 4 shots but none on target, by 73th minute and him having made all 3 subs, he gets his MC injured, but the STUPID DOT NEVER LEAVES THE FIELD , IT JUST STANDS THERE, AND I CANT SELECT THE PLAYER IN THE TACTICS LINEUP TO TELL MY MIDFIELDERS TO STOP TIGHT MARKING HIM BECAUSE DA DA DADADADA HE'S FREAKING DEAD, then all miraciously his team makes 3 shots and scores on all of them and I lose 3-2 because my stupid players kept staying on the injured guy. Btw both mine and his team are 4* rep clubs)
I just noticed this post has gotten freaking long, I wouldnt even read it myself personally, but bleh, I had to say these things. Got a lot more to add as well, but my hand is sore from punching the bookcase, and I need some coffee badly, so cheers, and pray to freakin Lucifer that 1.4 will bring a match engine that will actually -allow- us to do exactly what we are supposed to: Be actual managers.
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
Saturday, 7 November 2009
XFACTOR WEEK..AND WE SAY FAREWELL TO A LEGEND!
In Blissett this week its XFACTOR WEEK! with competitions, quizzes and our very own Blissett Kareoke Spectacluar with our very own king of the mic Gary Party ORG Harrison!!
We also say farewell to a Blissett Legend...no less then the EX mod..DEANO PHILPIN!
we have written a quick song in memory of this week of fun! to the tune of Dexy`s Midnight Runners song..oh gino!
they dont quite all fit but not far off
DEANO! DEANO! DEANO!DEANO!DEANO...
Back in 'FML in a sweaty Welsh club
Oh, DEANO
Before DEANO`s Machine and The Pembrokshire Club
Oh-oh-oh DEANO-o
On a night when Football didn't suit my boots
After a week of flunkin' and bunkin' Work
The lowest head in the crowd that night
Just practicin' steps and keepin' outta the fights in the lobby!
Academic inspiration, you gave me youth players
But you were Yilmaz`s lover
The Manager that won
But now just look at me
I'm looking down at you
No, Im not bein flash
Its what Im built to do!
OH YILMAZ!
That man took the stage, his sheep was swingin' high
Oh DEANO
This man was our mod, my FML, my high
Oh-oh-oh DEANO
The crowd they all hailed you, and chanted your name
But they never knew like we knew
USand you were the same
And now you're all over, your song is so tame, brrrrr
You modded me, you braded me, I'll remember your name
Academic inspiration, you gave me none
You were Philpin the manager
The Manager that won
But now just look at me
I'm looking up at you
No, Im not bein flash
Its down the youth ranks i go!
Oh DEANO, Woh-oh-oh DEANO
Oh DEANO, Woh-oh-oh DEANO
come back for more during the week!
We also say farewell to a Blissett Legend...no less then the EX mod..DEANO PHILPIN!
we have written a quick song in memory of this week of fun! to the tune of Dexy`s Midnight Runners song..oh gino!
they dont quite all fit but not far off
DEANO! DEANO! DEANO!DEANO!DEANO...
Back in 'FML in a sweaty Welsh club
Oh, DEANO
Before DEANO`s Machine and The Pembrokshire Club
Oh-oh-oh DEANO-o
On a night when Football didn't suit my boots
After a week of flunkin' and bunkin' Work
The lowest head in the crowd that night
Just practicin' steps and keepin' outta the fights in the lobby!
Academic inspiration, you gave me youth players
But you were Yilmaz`s lover
The Manager that won
But now just look at me
I'm looking down at you
No, Im not bein flash
Its what Im built to do!
OH YILMAZ!
That man took the stage, his sheep was swingin' high
Oh DEANO
This man was our mod, my FML, my high
Oh-oh-oh DEANO
The crowd they all hailed you, and chanted your name
But they never knew like we knew
USand you were the same
And now you're all over, your song is so tame, brrrrr
You modded me, you braded me, I'll remember your name
Academic inspiration, you gave me none
You were Philpin the manager
The Manager that won
But now just look at me
I'm looking up at you
No, Im not bein flash
Its down the youth ranks i go!
Oh DEANO, Woh-oh-oh DEANO
Oh DEANO, Woh-oh-oh DEANO
come back for more during the week!
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Classic Quotes from the World of FML
Ive not done a blog on the daggers for a while..so thought id give some time to letting you into the world of our support in the game and out of it..some of it is hilarious reading...
is calling someone a `mug` being a troll? apparently so!
anyway to some quoting..
"Moderators are here to ensure that the Gameworld runs smoothly and to ensure that everyone abides by the rules that make the game enjoyable for all."
enjoyable? gotta say some of the moderators are ok..good blokes..some are just on a big power trip..its not clever..its a game.
"it's really not great going into other Gameworlds, or to RT for that matter, to see how they run."
No? well maybe you should all visit some other worlds to see how there run properly
"We're not looking to apportion any blame on anyone for anything, and we're not trying to personally attack you either. There are just a few issues that I hope we can iron out."
seriosuly..who types this nonsense!
"If you have any questions for me, or anything that you would like to comment on then please do not hesitate to mail me, or another Moderator".
or maybe just ask a mod in another gameworld? oh not thats not allowed..sorry.
straight from the gw tonight...a classic quote from one of our most angry of moderators... says: (21:51:02)<:colour#0>
<:colour#4281545523>can you wank left handed<:default#>??
nice...a great example to set to the rest of the world..cheers.
"I'm sorry but I've removed your chatrights. It's nothing you've done or anything its more of a reshuffle purpose."
no we think your a tosser..now fuck off..cheers.(this wasnt me by the way)
finally another classic quote from an ingame moderator..baring in mind this was in a public chat area... says: (21:51:44)<:colour#0>
<:colour#4281545523>kev<:default#>
<:colour#4278522072> says: (21:51:52)<:colour#0>
<:colour#4281545523>fuck off<:default#>
what a guy!
now we move onto the lovely support team of football manager live..id love to meet there script writer...its bordering on stand-up!
"Moderators do not have to be the life and soul of the party within a gameworld to make it fun"
"I'm sure if you provide enough notice the Mod team will be able to get things organised for you."
"he cannot start offering out cash just because you tell him so, can he? ;)"
might want to get your facts right there!
I hope that this provides some fun and excitement for Blissett, but please have faith in the Moderators to do the right thing
so really..just keep the faith..40 managers on if your lucky and a `team of people to ensure you have a great experience in the game which you pay for` nice one.
A new edition the the classic quotes...This wasnt sent to me..but another victim of the Moderator Script Service..
Like I said earlier, your efforts to undermine moderators is not appreciated by anyone but we would sincerely like to offer you the chance to continue to contribute to the Gameworld. But it has to work two ways me old mate, you need to think before saying things in public that could undermine others appointed within the game by Sega/SI, and if you have an issue with something then we should be able to dicuss it properly in a Personal Message. If a decision is made that you don't like then thats unfortunate, but everything will not always be the way that we want it either.
for crying out loud..its a bloody game...this is getting worse..
KEEP THE FAITH!
is calling someone a `mug` being a troll? apparently so!
anyway to some quoting..
"Moderators are here to ensure that the Gameworld runs smoothly and to ensure that everyone abides by the rules that make the game enjoyable for all."
enjoyable? gotta say some of the moderators are ok..good blokes..some are just on a big power trip..its not clever..its a game.
"it's really not great going into other Gameworlds, or to RT for that matter, to see how they run."
No? well maybe you should all visit some other worlds to see how there run properly
"We're not looking to apportion any blame on anyone for anything, and we're not trying to personally attack you either. There are just a few issues that I hope we can iron out."
seriosuly..who types this nonsense!
"If you have any questions for me, or anything that you would like to comment on then please do not hesitate to mail me, or another Moderator".
or maybe just ask a mod in another gameworld? oh not thats not allowed..sorry.
straight from the gw tonight...a classic quote from one of our most angry of moderators...
<:colour#4281545523>can you wank left handed<:default#>??
nice...a great example to set to the rest of the world..cheers.
"I'm sorry but I've removed your chatrights. It's nothing you've done or anything its more of a reshuffle purpose."
no we think your a tosser..now fuck off..cheers.(this wasnt me by the way)
finally another classic quote from an ingame moderator..baring in mind this was in a public chat area...
<:colour#4281545523>kev<:default#>
<:colour#4278522072>
<:colour#4281545523>fuck off<:default#>
what a guy!
now we move onto the lovely support team of football manager live..id love to meet there script writer...its bordering on stand-up!
"Moderators do not have to be the life and soul of the party within a gameworld to make it fun"
"I'm sure if you provide enough notice the Mod team will be able to get things organised for you."
"he cannot start offering out cash just because you tell him so, can he? ;)"
might want to get your facts right there!
I hope that this provides some fun and excitement for Blissett, but please have faith in the Moderators to do the right thing
so really..just keep the faith..40 managers on if your lucky and a `team of people to ensure you have a great experience in the game which you pay for` nice one.
A new edition the the classic quotes...This wasnt sent to me..but another victim of the Moderator Script Service..
Like I said earlier, your efforts to undermine moderators is not appreciated by anyone but we would sincerely like to offer you the chance to continue to contribute to the Gameworld. But it has to work two ways me old mate, you need to think before saying things in public that could undermine others appointed within the game by Sega/SI, and if you have an issue with something then we should be able to dicuss it properly in a Personal Message. If a decision is made that you don't like then thats unfortunate, but everything will not always be the way that we want it either.
for crying out loud..its a bloody game...this is getting worse..
KEEP THE FAITH!
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
GAMEWORLD OPEN!
JOIN us NOW!
"Fans from clubs all over the world join Blissett, you'll feel right at home with the first class community spirit and many friendly, dedicated managers. Live a life of Blissett - Become a Blissett Legend."
9 Seasons ago / A crack set of Football Teams where sent to a bad FML GAMEWORLD by a Football Management Tribunal court for a foul they didn't commit and a goal that was clearly in!
These Teams promptly escaped from Duffy & Collyer maximum security Compounded GAMWORLD to join Blissett. Today, still wanted by Richie `the General` Tebutt and the support team mods from SI headquarters, they survive as Football managers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can join .. BLISSETT!! durn durn durn!!
Starring your Mods :-
Marcus the "Howling Mad Murdock" Cain, Cleon "The Hanibal" Hobson, who loves it when a plan comes together -, Deano `The Faceman` Philpin, Rich `the crazy white pimp driving fool` Gibson, and Andreas "B.A" Timmelstad, no messing with this guy, he wears tight fitting lycra suits just for fun, Mike `on the run from the rozzers` Howett and Brad `The AI King of fortune` Dick,...there football mod managers of fortune!!
Come join Blissett...with many Gameworld benefits.
With all New FA structure fully underway its a great time to join Blissett...WE also have managers to guide you through starting in an old Gameworld...It easier in an old gw..theres plenty of star players to pick up for nothing..we have the inside information!!
Can you really afford not too?
www.blissett.org.uk Website for all the goings on during the season
*Top Moderators (well so they say)
*A top lineup of in game Organisers who listen to managers needs and ideas
*Great Gameworld Competition
*Season ends 21st September so get in from 8pm onwards...welcoming chat in the lobby with our resident king of the one liner, matt molloy! *PICK up some decent players for all new teams
*A Massive Core of active manager on most nights..New and Established
*Lively Debate in the Lobby and FA rooms...all friendly..This isnt Whiteside!
*FULL youth setup in most FA`s where possible*A VAN load of players available (screenshots below)
*Good loan market from established managers to New Managers
*Loads of Managers on hand to help 22 hours a day
*Tactical Support network (we even have tactics to combat the 4-6-0)
*No hierachy of good and poor teams..we are ONE gameworld.
*We also have an award winning blog returning for the new season..funnier than ever before!
*Our own newspaper and FA reporters from ALL FA`s
*a Stable economy..no inflated wages or Market place.
*SUPER extra FA`s with the Youth FA running Quick play leagues and cups this season for managers on for more time than they should be!!
*With the 1.3 Patch due anytime now with a feast of fetures! you could win some tokens! woop! woop!...come join us before then and get the hang of it first!!
WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT FROM FML...its a great place to be...GET IN THERE NOW!!
ITS WHERE LEGENDS CHOOSE TO PLAY...BLISSETT...the best in FML Gameworlds...for a small taste of what goes on...check...http://thedaggers.blogspot.com/ a weekly look into the real world of football and FML...
IF you want to be involved in a great game and a great world...HIT the Transfer button now!! http://www.footballmanagerlive.com/gameworlds/ and search for the BEST..BLISSETT!!
were not looney`s honest!
"Fans from clubs all over the world join Blissett, you'll feel right at home with the first class community spirit and many friendly, dedicated managers. Live a life of Blissett - Become a Blissett Legend."
9 Seasons ago / A crack set of Football Teams where sent to a bad FML GAMEWORLD by a Football Management Tribunal court for a foul they didn't commit and a goal that was clearly in!
These Teams promptly escaped from Duffy & Collyer maximum security Compounded GAMWORLD to join Blissett. Today, still wanted by Richie `the General` Tebutt and the support team mods from SI headquarters, they survive as Football managers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can join .. BLISSETT!! durn durn durn!!
Starring your Mods :-
Marcus the "Howling Mad Murdock" Cain, Cleon "The Hanibal" Hobson, who loves it when a plan comes together -, Deano `The Faceman` Philpin, Rich `the crazy white pimp driving fool` Gibson, and Andreas "B.A" Timmelstad, no messing with this guy, he wears tight fitting lycra suits just for fun, Mike `on the run from the rozzers` Howett and Brad `The AI King of fortune` Dick,...there football mod managers of fortune!!
Come join Blissett...with many Gameworld benefits.
With all New FA structure fully underway its a great time to join Blissett...WE also have managers to guide you through starting in an old Gameworld...It easier in an old gw..theres plenty of star players to pick up for nothing..we have the inside information!!
Can you really afford not too?
www.blissett.org.uk Website for all the goings on during the season
*Top Moderators (well so they say)
*A top lineup of in game Organisers who listen to managers needs and ideas
*Great Gameworld Competition
*Season ends 21st September so get in from 8pm onwards...welcoming chat in the lobby with our resident king of the one liner, matt molloy! *PICK up some decent players for all new teams
*A Massive Core of active manager on most nights..New and Established
*Lively Debate in the Lobby and FA rooms...all friendly..This isnt Whiteside!
*FULL youth setup in most FA`s where possible*A VAN load of players available (screenshots below)
*Good loan market from established managers to New Managers
*Loads of Managers on hand to help 22 hours a day
*Tactical Support network (we even have tactics to combat the 4-6-0)
*No hierachy of good and poor teams..we are ONE gameworld.
*We also have an award winning blog returning for the new season..funnier than ever before!
*Our own newspaper and FA reporters from ALL FA`s
*a Stable economy..no inflated wages or Market place.
*SUPER extra FA`s with the Youth FA running Quick play leagues and cups this season for managers on for more time than they should be!!
*With the 1.3 Patch due anytime now with a feast of fetures! you could win some tokens! woop! woop!...come join us before then and get the hang of it first!!
WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT FROM FML...its a great place to be...GET IN THERE NOW!!
ITS WHERE LEGENDS CHOOSE TO PLAY...BLISSETT...the best in FML Gameworlds...for a small taste of what goes on...check...http://thedaggers.blogspot.com/ a weekly look into the real world of football and FML...
IF you want to be involved in a great game and a great world...HIT the Transfer button now!! http://www.footballmanagerlive.com/gameworlds/ and search for the BEST..BLISSETT!!
were not looney`s honest!
Monday, 6 July 2009
The Final Whistle Special Edition!
The Dagger Blog..The Final Whistle...
In tonight’s Action packed special edition we have our usual columns from the world of FML and the REAL world..that’s right you heard it here first FML is not real it’s a game!
Tonight’s contents include:
The Dagger Report- The news from the camp!
The Diccon Brown Column- the Guru of Training returns with a World Tour Special!
The Toni Report- Swiss Toni is back with his rule on the world!
On that Bomb shell- A new bit with thought provoking comment...ish.
First tonight we head over to the Ted Bovis Training camp deep in the heart of the East end...of Essex!
The Dagger Report
With Pre-season now fully behind us the lads were eager to get stuck into the SEFA youth leagues..The seniors were of no interest really except to give the RAVENS the run around for a few games then get tonked by some nasty older boys in some other games. Monday! The big kick off had arrived..it was rather like watching re-runs of JFK being shot in History lessons at school a million times..You just knew what would happen every time..yes he got shot..SO Tuesday came and went..oh and so did Wednesday and then i think it was Thursday after that then it was a bit of a blur and by the lap of gods it was FRIDAY!! Wooo! The weekend of the 1st week of a new season....We had a riot on our hands and the lads in the campsite were restless..they had beaten each other at FIFA 09 so many times they had blisters on their hands from using the controls to much or as i suspect it was probably from tonking one off too much whilst watching channel 424 on virgin tv cos nasty uncle Michael had put parental control on the other last night entertainment channels..there not for kids apparently. But the SEFA youth leagues were started HOOORRAAHHHH! We got off to a great start..unbeaten in the u17`s until that nasty grizzly Anglo-American team put our unbeaten run to an end..then a brutal tonking at the hands of those pesky ravens brought the good start to the u17`s Sefa league to an end...oh we did manage a credible draw against those hearts lads..The u21`s and 19`s have started well and with a few new recruits on the horizon...Im very happy with the start we have made to season 2 of youth camp!! Much Love...TED.
The Diccon Brown Column..Training Guru!
Being as it holiday time, this week's seen my players on a world tour.
First stop was Spain where players were left in the centre of Madrid wearing signed Ronaldo shirts. Those that were left have proven agility and will never be phased by anything again
Next was Africa for speed training with cheetahs
USA included entry into the Ultimate Fighting Championship where da Costa my red and yellow card expert excelled. He has since dyed his hair red and yellow to celebrate.
France saw players perfecting their Gallic shrug to help in protesting their innocence.
After Skeleton Bobsled in Austria none of my players are worried by diving headers anymore.
And after a final stop in Amsterdam now has my wingers flying.
The Rags!
Being as its the summer the top five in this edition are from that game England are really good at..yes you got it..Cricket!!
...Signs the Aussie attack isn’t what it used to be
5. Overhear Mitchell Johnson Bitch. “I’m not wearing that cap with these Trousers.
4. “intense training” involved painting toenail in front of Desperate housewives.
3. “ He our new Paul McGrath.” “No don’t you men Glenn McGrath? “NOPE” “Then may god have mercy on us all.
2.”...And in comes Hilfenhaus now, mincing in from the Cathedral Road end
1. “oh, you silly sausage” does not rank among the greatest sledges of all time
The Ashes got under way in Wales, and some Australians were not happy. Ricky pointing said “If he wanted impenetrable accent , unnecessarily stupid town name, sheep and misplaced national pride. We`d have stayed at home”
The Series promises to be close. And Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has warned that “we can`t take the Australians’ lightly and that “James Anderson” has huge responsibility”. Andrew Strauss thanks Radcliffe for his input and is now sweating on the verdict of the chuckle brothers.
Robbie Fowler will miss North Queensland furys opener of the season after picking up another injury but says he`s not there to enjoy the sun. “ I’m not here for a holiday” he said, whilst licking his 99, wearing a kiss me quick hat and riding a donkey.
Paddy Kenny could be suspended for 2 years after testing positive for the band stimulant ephedrine. Doctors also found generous traces of Curly Wurly.
In Kenny `s defence his prosecutors will struggle to say that the banned substance proved performance enhancing.
Roger Federer has revelead that he`s inspired by Mohamed Ali, Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. Alex Bogdanovis meanwhile says he`s inspired my Neil Kinnock, Frank Spenser, Sarah Palin and the Films of Rick Moranis.
The Toni Report
Have you been hurt in an accident that wasn’t your fault? Would you like to keep 100% of the compensation! GOD im glad im back at work...i couldn’t suffer anymore daytime TV..its getting more like America every day! Although i have missed watching home and away for the fit lovely`s and countdown and deal or no deal...but hey thats what the V+ is for!! You have to be kidding me...your not gonna record that tat are you...erm no! So with not as much time to while away the hours playing FML, it’s good to be back in the working class. Its good for the soul...if you have to play a computer game this much you have problems..serious problems...get help! Its also come to my attention that am calling everyone SON at the moment at work...im going to take Ben Hibbert to court for corrupting me!! And im sure i`ll be able to keep 100% of the compensation! Its what that advert said!! Blissett the gameworld the legends...is having an average of 35-40 managers at any one time good? Not really...is it good that all official FA games are delayed for a week?? Hell no! Is it good for Official SI appointed people to be condescending to customers? Hell yeah! Of course it is! Its in the Official appointed book for all officially appointed people surely! Theres some good and some bad but theres not much point in moaning...CAN WE HELP? HELL no! Cos your not an officially appointed person and anyway we don’t like the way you talk...you`ve had enough chances i tell ya! Maybe im a bit too jazzy for you? Or maybe i actually enjoy the game and don’t want to be mugged off but power crazy people with extra buttons to press! Being an officially appointed person in an online MMO might float some peoples boat..but for me channel 424 on Virgin Media is better than that! Toni.
On that Bombshell!
“The game is great as long as you want to play long term.... I think those that come in and expect to win divisions in there first season are abruptly dragged back to reality- and after their prams have been emptied of toys, they disappear.”
Thats it for the Blog this week...next weeks edition will possibly be on Sunday night! If your lucky! Have a good week! See you on the other side!
Kev.
Friday, 26 June 2009
The Final Whistle 26-06-09
The Dagger Blog Of Blissett...
Sponsored this week by the job centre plus!
In this weeks smaller than usual Issue..i blame it on the boogie.
The Dagger Report-Kids progressing well? we ask Ted.
The Rags- Our usual top 5 and dig into the daily`s
The Diccon Brown Training tip...he`s not pissed you know!
The Toni Report-Satirical reporting from the world of FML.
Firstly this will be the last blog for a while, I will be returning to the working class of great britain next week and as of yet are unsure what kind of hours i will be workig. I hope youve enjoyed reading over the last few months..if you havent well i dont care, its been fun writing it and keeping the majority amused, i think ive done ok with that bit!
The Dagger Report.
So how are the kids doin TED? not bad..they`ve trained hard this week and are looking forward to a brand new campsite on tuesday, there perticulary excited about the new tactics whiteboard being installed...pass...SHOOT! its not difficult i tell them...but joking aside they have had a great season and there progression has been nothing short of superb. On a sad note our young mexican lad has been crippled for 5 days after a disgracefull tackle by some hooligin in an u17`s SEFA game..dirty buggers. IF he wanted the rolex off of him im sure hector would have given it to him. On a scouting point of view ive been scouring the world for new talent..kids for next seasons u17 team..im suprised there has been none come up on the radar..but maybe now that singing superstar bloke has karked it they may come out of hiding..we need some new blood in the campsite for next seasons adventures into the SEFA dungeons league! Thanks Ted, an incitefull comment as ever!
The Rags
Our top 5 this week if for that Scottish Tennis player..
Signs weight of expectation will get to Andy Murray
5.Takes courtside advice from a sock on his right hand called "DR Sockingdon"
4.Strops-Mid Match "Wheres the Queen? Lazy.I have to look at her mush every time i lick a stamp
3.No more Highland spring v Evian controversy. Why whats he been drinking..ah sweet sweet turps.
2.Runs out onto centre court,Arms out stretched, wearing a cape
1."change ends" sorry?- I thought you said underpants.
Other Tennis News..
Alex Bogdanovic insits he`s getting better every year. By the time his 73 he`ll have progressed to the status of utter dog shit!
Jelena Jankovic defended womens tennis this week. "Citing all the personalties that we have" she was then asked to name one other than serena williams and her head exploded.
Hull City fans are preparing chants for transfer target Michael Owen. To play along with the crowd. Owen will sit on the floor for 90 mins and cry into his hands for a full 90 minuetes.
Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce has been given all the transfer kitty from the santa cruz deal to man city. He not sure wether to buy a striker a midfielder or make a bid for the town of blackburn.
Patrick Vieria Could join PSG this week, but coach Antoine Kombouare says his wages could be a problem. As for the fact that he`s now absolute bobbins!
Stoke Manager Tony Pulis has told his players that they can expect big changes in the dressing room next season. Yes the showers will be made from a chrome aluminium composite.
And finally to rugby news where Gareth Hock, the Wigan Rugby league player has tested posotive for Cocaine.The club were stunned. An inquest is being held to discover how anyone living in Wigan can afford Cocaine!
The Diccon Brown Coaching Tips.
Back to basics If your youngens continually pass the ball across the goal tie them hands and feet to a roof above a crocodile pit… see how they then will do anything to get balls away from the mouth (of the goal).
If strikers can't score take them clubbing in east London… if they still can't score shoot them… it's for their own good really.
Midfielders who dwell on the ball put in the electric chair version of Mastermind… any time they get an answer wrong crank up the crank up the juice… see who starts to understand a simple pass often works wonders.
And if your keeper is having trouble with where he should be in relation to the goal half John Bobbit him… apparently if you're lacking in that area it's all about positioning.
The Toni Report
Afte blogging and reporting in Blissett for the last few months with a mixture of Real life comment from the real world and some very entertaining discussions and comic genius from the lobby. This will as already mentioned be the last blog for a while. Its been fun and has kept the old brain cells ticking over for the last 3 months whilst ive been away from work.
So what have we learnt from FML as SI/Sega launch a new pro-world and the mass rush from blissett didnt quite happen and Des Oconner has a new album out..what more can you want...we lost a few but nothing to worry about..Im sure with 1.2 arriving on Tuesday and some new marketing from those SEGA lads im sure we will see an influx of new blood to the gameworld..you never know we might even get some people come back to spend there £15m fortunes. Good lad i say! A few thankyou`s..big one to Diccon for the training reports, always amusing. All the managers who appeared in the blog and made some of the transcripts in the early editons amusing and to the mods for allowing me to post the blog within FML...im sure at times it was a little too JAZZY! but there you go..thats what its all about..a very Jazzy Football management SIM!
A parting ..this was probably one of my favourite rants from blogs past..the manager in question is now plying his trade in Whiteside..and if you get a min listen to the pod cast here...the dagger blog gets a mention at 57 mins if you get bored!
http://www.fm-britain.co.uk/2009/05/13/episode-20-vincent-eintracht/
Vincent 'Red Card' Lavezzi: (16:38:17)
And now the FML classified results starting in the Boreclays Premiership .
Stadium Investor 0 ..Team investor 2
Long term planner 0 ..Short term 1
Wreckless Wage FC 4 ..Conservative Utd..1
AI vs active player (courtesy of Diccon Brown)
Artificial City 2 . Sporting Newbie 1
Very funny stuff...a great rant..i wont broadcast the rest as the kids are watching!!
Thats it! Its been a blast!
Kev.
Friday, 19 June 2009
The Final Whistle 19-06-2009
THE FINAL WHISTLE- The final Say in a week of Football and FM Live.
The week’s Issue is sponsored by Setanta Sports.Show me the money!
In tonight’s action packed issue..
The Dagger Report- Ted Bovis and his youth camp.No tower blocks here!
Diccon Brown`s Training Tips- Tonight we go back to nature
The Rags- No top 5 tonight.Don’t do Korean gags.It’s not the done thing.
The Toni Report- From the Boardroom of the Daggers.Toni`s take on the week
The Final Thought...Just a Thought that’s all.
The Dagger Report
First we kick off with a report from Ted Bovis- Youth and First team coach of Daggers!
Its been a good week of development with these lads, the dressing rooms have been cleaned up, the mold has been removed from the shower tray and the tramp can now piss outside..simple as, there’s no room now for any slapdash changing rooms. This may have something to do with the demands of a certain young man from Mexico. The board went all out for this lad, bidding a meagre 50k wages for this lad...they finally landed the boy for 36k! But he`s gonna be great i tell you...he`s already a dab hand at the karaoke in the ballroom during the evening entertainment sessions. I’m a bit concerned though by the 60 inch plasma he had delivered from ARGO this week...its keeps the lads awake at night..Im also a bit concerned he may fall out of his bunk bed if he gets a bit carried away with the wii remote whilst playing fifa 09. But anyway how are the rest of the lads shaping up...very well..it’s been a good first season...bang in the goals and a few mishaps at the back..it’s all good learning for them...i just wish they’d be more careful when knocking 40 yard cross field passes across their 18 yard box..be careful lads!
Diccon`s training Tips:
Nature vs. Nurture
Well it's not in my nature to nurture so this week the lads are going back to nature.
Yellowstone Park style.
Defenders are training as foresters, practicing felling safely in the area, the mids are learning whittling to get their creativity going, the strikers are sent off hunting anyone without a brace when they get back gets shot and the keepers are off with the bears... well if they can cope with those one on ones...
The Rags
A look into the funnies from the daily rags in London...a few of the best ones from the real world of sport and football
North Korea qualified for World Cup 2010, where they will most likely exit at the group stages. OR, as the Korean press will report it: “KIM JONG Il Hat-trick inspires world cup glory”.
Sky player means you can watch the ashes on the computer at work. It’s great news for cricket lovers, who can follow the action. And better news for HR departments, as those pesky cutbacks are made a little easier “HOWIZEEEE”...well out of a job!
Amanda Holden was at ROYAL ASCOT on Tuesday, apparently she won. Its hard to tell as she tends to look startled most of the time
The IRAN football team showed support for Mir Hosseien Mousavi by wearing green armbands this week. England once showed comparable levels of unity when lampsy and wazza split a round of cristal.
Sheikh Hamden Bin Mohamed al Maktoum is under investigation for horse doping offences. Suspicions were aroused when the horse was found in its stable listening to early Genesis and laughing hysterically at the Queens hat.
Jenso Button says its his talent and not his car that is taking him to the formula 1 title. He has to be commended. Not for winning but for keeping a straight face when he said that.
And Finally, Chelseas Didier Drogba was this week banned from four Champions League games, meaning the only appalling acting and Tuesday and Wednesday evenings can be seen on Hollyoaks..for those that don’t know its a British Teen Soap thing!
The Toni Report
“Im currently the 3rd team in my gameworld and my stadium avg attendance was 45k. But my winger (one of my best player) get injured for 4 days so i stop to play official games.”
Ive lost 10k avg attendance during this period
“Wenger says to Fergie..sorry we cant play this week...fabregas isnt felling well and adebeyor has a nose bleed..can we make it the week after??”
“oh yeh sure...dont worry..i hope they feel better soon and to be honest tevez and rooney have the flu anyway.”
hang on you stopped playing Official games during the injury periods....WHY?? thats the game surely...alot of people do this..doesnt make sense to me..if this was FM08/09 you couldnt do it...this annoys alot of people..
"oh im not playing any games until all my players are fit and my team is in form"
rubbish...buy more players for your squad.
“It depends if you think that fml is a real simulator of football managing or not. I think its only fantasy football, thats why i want to play when my team is full fit and not when my team cant play with all my better players.”
This was the amusing conversation i had with some chap on the forums this week..ive just realised im doing it all wrong...so in that case if ANY of my players get injured or loose form thats it im not playing *stamps feet*
Rubbish its a football management sim where its more true to life than you think...clubs are snapping up young kids on crazy wages...WHY?? well every other mug does so i might as well...36k for a 16 year old..is that too much? Well not really..but is 200k a week for a diving over paid pre-maddonna who goes down well in the box but hacks a mean freekick..well dam right it is...thats just bonkers! And is anyone really worth £80m?? Hmmmmm....no but its like buying a house...if someone wants to give you 200k for your 3 bed semi in suburbia then you take it don’t you! Its the old its only ever gonna be worth what people are prepared to pay...so 80m seems reasonable to me...Fergie can pick up a few players for that and maybe pay for the lads to have a night out? Remember the last time you did that fergie!
To the second week of a new season and SEFA is going well for its maden season, England are out of the 20-20 cricket and England u21 have coasted into the semi`s where no doubt they`ll be sent packing after missing a few penalties.
FML this week...The usual 40 suspects trudging away from around 8pm and all the dual account maniacs will be doing battle in the Pro world on Tuesday...will Swiss Toni be making an appearance there? Maybe-maybe not...am i losing the will to live? Not yet!
Toni
The Final Thought
You know strange as it may seem..even football ultimately isnt that important in life..it’s meant to be entertainment..same as FML..if it’s not then time to take a break..Get laid more it helps a lot!
Have a good week
Kev.
Friday, 12 June 2009
The Final Whistle 12-06-2009
The Final Whistle. The Dagger Blog of Blissett GW..12-06.2009
Is This week Sponsored by the IPHONE 3GS!! Why don’t they launch it just after i get one!(oh they did)
In this Weeks Limited Kebab edition-
The Dagger Report- Winds of change at the CCS Arena
The Lobbyists- A welcome return to the banter from the lobby
The Rags- Our usual top shelf look at the Press..it’s all `Real` you know!
The Toni Report- From the Boardroom at the Daggers Stadium..Toni`s thoughts on the world
The Dagger Report- With Ted Bovis..Hi-De-HI!
Swiss Toni and Jesse`s Love affair with Pardo and CO finally came to an end last Sunday afternoon as winds of change swept through the CCS arena as the old guard was wiped away and a steady airport moving walkway was installed and near on 40 brand new kids were ushered into the Holiday complex newly built near the Daggers Training complex..well i say complex..its more of a bit of grass with an old brick built changing room with shower where tramps piss and you can knock your boots off on those brush things attached to the walls and where the windows are slightly yellow with green mold on..nice tho. The start of the season loomed and these lads were itching to get on with developing into the best group of kids the world have ever seen....ive joined the managers who constantly scour the markets for that elusive 5 star player!! Although im sure all teams will gladly play the daggers kids at senior level...be afraid..the daggers kids are getting better! See you in a few seasons!! Ted.
The Lobbyists
The funny bits from the lobby this week!
Sam Worger says: (16:34:48) I can tell if there going to be a superstar when there in the womb!
Jim _: says: (16:35:41) Ah man my cat just put her foot in my coffee
Sam Worger says: (16:42:17) the wage auctions are like airports, you go in with your bag packed with great players, and when you arrive at the end BA have lost your baggage
Gary Harrison says: (16:45:02)I still can’t believe u don’t get square sausage in England....UN believable
Ross Allan says: (16:39:51)
A moderator said to me what part of don’t swear don’t you understand I said well would you believe me if I suffered from dyslexia
The Rags
A quick look at what’s happening in the world with our usual dip into the daily rags and blah!
This Week`s top 5..
Things to ask yourself before spending £80m on a footballer...
5.Tell me, why is the western world so hated?
4.Whats our motivation: the acquisition of a rare talent, or the thought of sir Alex Ferguson going absolutely mental?
3.Can he give the same qualities as he did at man utd: Grit gile and the ability to be a complete git
2.Have Denilson,Crespo,Veron and Shevchenko not taught us that big money signings do not always work?
1.From Fransico Franco to Ronaldo-What is it about real Madrid and deplorable right wingers
Ronaldo spent Wednesday night with Paris Hilton: OR as the union is now know, ORANGE Wednesday.
RONALDO AND PARIS? Well they are both well known for going down easily
He`s Sulky self obsessed and strangely orange. But like him or or not, Phill Brown did a great job keeping Hull in the top flight.
Congratulations to Bob Crow and the striking tube workers! Because in future when we think of selfish, overpaid greedy whinging tossers we wont be thinking of footballers..Nice one.
I belong to jesus! “KAKA once trilled. Has football not had enough 3rd party ownership?
THE FA`s descision to reimburse England ticket due to the tube strike could cost them £1m. To cover the amount David Beckham will belch into a hanky and sell on ebay.
And Well done to man city for summing the club up yesterday. “yeah, We`ll hold the Gareth Barry press conference on Thursday morning. Quite news day=loads of coverage. Oh hang on i hear theres a spot of news from Madrid!
England coach Fabio Capello looks utterly appalled by his team's start in Almaty and he is in lively form on the bench, even appearing to brush against Stuart Pearce at one point. Steady on, Fabio. He's not called Psycho for nothing.
The Toni Report
From the boardroom of the Daggers Utd CCS Arena we find Swiss Toni in thoughtful mood..thats not a word you normally associate with the Daggers Director of football!
In just a little over 3 hours time the Gameworld will shudder at the prospect of a 16year old Mexican going for i would say atleast 50k wages...crazy stuff, makes the 80m Ronaldo deal look almost sensible. So which lucky manager will have a 16 year old on mega bucks? We shall see at just after midnight tonight. Its not right really is it? Well no but theres not really much choice unless you want to while the night away trudging through senior game after senior game..just becomes pointless..theres only every gonna be a handfull of managers who ever get to that elusive no1 spot..but does it matter? No not really, its about the community spirit and banter in the lobby...who are we kidding eh! Its a football management sim which is so highly addictive its caused a melt down on people lives...its caused FML managers to have a faster typing speed than some of the best typist in the world! Its the 2nd biggest cause now of obesity in the world with more food consumed the the EU food mountain...even pot noodle sales are up! TO those managers who don’t login anymore? What can i say...have you got anything else better not to do? Well yes you probably have, but you can’t just help having a little peak to see if your fiancés allow you to purchase a 2m super youth! We know who you are! “I HATE THIS GAME AND IM RUBBISH AT IT” sure you are!
Have a good week...keep it real..
Kev.
Friday, 5 June 2009
The Final Whistle 05-06-2009
The Dagger Blog, Blissett Gamworld Edition
The week sponsored by The Job Centre Plus.
The Dagger Report- Today will mostly be with Jesse the Coach
The Diccon Brown Column- Training Methods from the Legend himself!
The Rags-A look into the real world and the end of the season
The Toni Report- booted again!
The Dagger blog is back after last week’s break because of world cup fever hitting the GW..With Toni Flying out to Mexico to take charge of a The Mexicans and taking them to a creditble Semi Final spot..Losing to Poland...but they did manage to beat the Brazilians!
The Dagger Report
The end of another AEFA season saw Daggers UTD relegated back to the championship...but fear not because the Board of the Daggers has decided to take the whole shabang to a new FA..SEFA!! SUPER! WHY i hear you cry...our maybe you don’t mind the team wanted to play more human v human games and 60 games a season is so much better than 40.and with the completion of the 22,000 all seater stadium complete oh i lied theres still 1 block of terracing for nostalga purposes .it just never seemed 40 games is never going to be enough...it promises to be an exciting time for all SEFA teams..with 36 signed up to date and a weekend push to fill it up..It will be the most active FA that’s for sure...so don’t delay join SEFA today! Ud have thought they’d pay me for all the advertising wouldn’t you?
The Diccon Brown Column
This week’s training Methods.
This week, after some poor form, my team have been sent back to school.
Strikers are studying geography, they cant find the net, let's see if they can even find what country they're in.
Keepers are taking shop, they've been relying on the woodwork so much they may as well learn how to use it properly.
The midfield are supervising the playground so they can learn to break up play.
And the defence are driving the school bus, hopefully they can learn to park it.
The Rags
A quick look at what’s happening in the world with our usual dip into the daily rags and blah blah blah!
This Week`s top 5..
....Jobs Tony Adams thinks he can do next.
5. Pop on a dress, and hey presto you`ve got yourself a new fern britton!
4.Be the architect of Celtics celebrations next season and drive the open top bus
3.Cheif senator to her highness queen Estrada, ruler of Zoltan 5 of the alpha nebula
2.Do to expense-fiddling MP`s what he did to that brick wall in 1990
1. Manager a well-know competitive outfit..The Runcorn branch of Tesco
* Tony Adams says he`s in the running for the Celtic job. Yes, the Scottish giants are bored of the perennial two-horse race and fancy a relegation battle
* Steve Bruce had managed clubs based in Huddersfield, Sheffield, Croydon, Wigan and now Sunderland. Bruce either A) wants to climb the managerial ladder; or B) Shares the same booking agent as bobby davro
* Bruce said he want to take Sunderland forward. That either means a top ten finish, or hot running water for everyone.
* Big brother is back! A group of desperate wannabes are thrown together and expected to survive in harmony whilst providing entertainment, even though the nation knows it will end in tears and despair. Rumour has it Mike Ashley is looking to buy the rights
*Susan Boyle fell short of the final of Britains got Talent Last week. An eccentric Scot who lairises opinion, got a bit for their britches ,does like the media, and bottle it on the big stage. On the bright side she`s being lined up as the next manager of Man Utd.
* Roberto Martinez returns to wigan as manager. When he last played for the latics he was the most exotic thing to come to the area since the introduction of the inside toilet.
And finally..I was going to write a gag regarding Australian Cricketer Andrew Symonds but I don’t wanna upset Myron.
The Toni Report
Ah..the toni report, now how can we survive a week without some edgy comment from the king of controversy..its a tricky one. Last week Toni was hauled before the FA committee and stripped once again of his chat helper status...the ever controversial, hard hitting coach of Daggers Utd was described this week as “a blunt instrument”...nice! probably true but never one to shy a way from controversy..although he has found that the IGNORE manager button works a bloody treat..i wonder how many use it on him...does he really care? Not really..its only a game! With the announcement this week of 3 more gameworld`s on route and one of them being a pro-world...will you be leaving? I hope not..many of us remember the Tom`s fiasco.. One final thought for anyone who is going to join the new pro world - GOOD LUCK! At first it may seem like a great idea to go and join 999 other pro-managers however I imagine the reality will be anything but. It will be worse than Toms ever was; a world jammed full of short-term thinking, glory hunting hoppers. JP will be abundant and prices will be astronomical from the start. It will be carnage. Granted there might be the odd exception but I'll bet a pound to a penny that this new gameworld will be an unqualified disaster, full of bitching and endless moaning and problems.
See you all in SEFA for some human on human fun!
Have a good one..
Kev.
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