The Dagger Blog..The Final Whistle...
In tonight’s Action packed special edition we have our usual columns from the world of FML and the REAL world..that’s right you heard it here first FML is not real it’s a game!
Tonight’s contents include:
The Dagger Report- The news from the camp!
The Diccon Brown Column- the Guru of Training returns with a World Tour Special!
The Toni Report- Swiss Toni is back with his rule on the world!
On that Bomb shell- A new bit with thought provoking comment...ish.
First tonight we head over to the Ted Bovis Training camp deep in the heart of the East end...of Essex!
The Dagger Report
With Pre-season now fully behind us the lads were eager to get stuck into the SEFA youth leagues..The seniors were of no interest really except to give the RAVENS the run around for a few games then get tonked by some nasty older boys in some other games. Monday! The big kick off had arrived..it was rather like watching re-runs of JFK being shot in History lessons at school a million times..You just knew what would happen every time..yes he got shot..SO Tuesday came and went..oh and so did Wednesday and then i think it was Thursday after that then it was a bit of a blur and by the lap of gods it was FRIDAY!! Wooo! The weekend of the 1st week of a new season....We had a riot on our hands and the lads in the campsite were restless..they had beaten each other at FIFA 09 so many times they had blisters on their hands from using the controls to much or as i suspect it was probably from tonking one off too much whilst watching channel 424 on virgin tv cos nasty uncle Michael had put parental control on the other last night entertainment channels..there not for kids apparently. But the SEFA youth leagues were started HOOORRAAHHHH! We got off to a great start..unbeaten in the u17`s until that nasty grizzly Anglo-American team put our unbeaten run to an end..then a brutal tonking at the hands of those pesky ravens brought the good start to the u17`s Sefa league to an end...oh we did manage a credible draw against those hearts lads..The u21`s and 19`s have started well and with a few new recruits on the horizon...Im very happy with the start we have made to season 2 of youth camp!! Much Love...TED.
The Diccon Brown Column..Training Guru!
Being as it holiday time, this week's seen my players on a world tour.
First stop was Spain where players were left in the centre of Madrid wearing signed Ronaldo shirts. Those that were left have proven agility and will never be phased by anything again
Next was Africa for speed training with cheetahs
USA included entry into the Ultimate Fighting Championship where da Costa my red and yellow card expert excelled. He has since dyed his hair red and yellow to celebrate.
France saw players perfecting their Gallic shrug to help in protesting their innocence.
After Skeleton Bobsled in Austria none of my players are worried by diving headers anymore.
And after a final stop in Amsterdam now has my wingers flying.
The Rags!
Being as its the summer the top five in this edition are from that game England are really good at..yes you got it..Cricket!!
...Signs the Aussie attack isn’t what it used to be
5. Overhear Mitchell Johnson Bitch. “I’m not wearing that cap with these Trousers.
4. “intense training” involved painting toenail in front of Desperate housewives.
3. “ He our new Paul McGrath.” “No don’t you men Glenn McGrath? “NOPE” “Then may god have mercy on us all.
2.”...And in comes Hilfenhaus now, mincing in from the Cathedral Road end
1. “oh, you silly sausage” does not rank among the greatest sledges of all time
The Ashes got under way in Wales, and some Australians were not happy. Ricky pointing said “If he wanted impenetrable accent , unnecessarily stupid town name, sheep and misplaced national pride. We`d have stayed at home”
The Series promises to be close. And Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has warned that “we can`t take the Australians’ lightly and that “James Anderson” has huge responsibility”. Andrew Strauss thanks Radcliffe for his input and is now sweating on the verdict of the chuckle brothers.
Robbie Fowler will miss North Queensland furys opener of the season after picking up another injury but says he`s not there to enjoy the sun. “ I’m not here for a holiday” he said, whilst licking his 99, wearing a kiss me quick hat and riding a donkey.
Paddy Kenny could be suspended for 2 years after testing positive for the band stimulant ephedrine. Doctors also found generous traces of Curly Wurly.
In Kenny `s defence his prosecutors will struggle to say that the banned substance proved performance enhancing.
Roger Federer has revelead that he`s inspired by Mohamed Ali, Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. Alex Bogdanovis meanwhile says he`s inspired my Neil Kinnock, Frank Spenser, Sarah Palin and the Films of Rick Moranis.
The Toni Report
Have you been hurt in an accident that wasn’t your fault? Would you like to keep 100% of the compensation! GOD im glad im back at work...i couldn’t suffer anymore daytime TV..its getting more like America every day! Although i have missed watching home and away for the fit lovely`s and countdown and deal or no deal...but hey thats what the V+ is for!! You have to be kidding me...your not gonna record that tat are you...erm no! So with not as much time to while away the hours playing FML, it’s good to be back in the working class. Its good for the soul...if you have to play a computer game this much you have problems..serious problems...get help! Its also come to my attention that am calling everyone SON at the moment at work...im going to take Ben Hibbert to court for corrupting me!! And im sure i`ll be able to keep 100% of the compensation! Its what that advert said!! Blissett the gameworld the legends...is having an average of 35-40 managers at any one time good? Not really...is it good that all official FA games are delayed for a week?? Hell no! Is it good for Official SI appointed people to be condescending to customers? Hell yeah! Of course it is! Its in the Official appointed book for all officially appointed people surely! Theres some good and some bad but theres not much point in moaning...CAN WE HELP? HELL no! Cos your not an officially appointed person and anyway we don’t like the way you talk...you`ve had enough chances i tell ya! Maybe im a bit too jazzy for you? Or maybe i actually enjoy the game and don’t want to be mugged off but power crazy people with extra buttons to press! Being an officially appointed person in an online MMO might float some peoples boat..but for me channel 424 on Virgin Media is better than that! Toni.
On that Bombshell!
“The game is great as long as you want to play long term.... I think those that come in and expect to win divisions in there first season are abruptly dragged back to reality- and after their prams have been emptied of toys, they disappear.”
Thats it for the Blog this week...next weeks edition will possibly be on Sunday night! If your lucky! Have a good week! See you on the other side!
Kev.
