The Final Whistle (An amusing look at the Week in FML and Real life)
(This week sponsored by a Dodgy Football Agent from Witham Town)
Another week in the World has past and the FML Blisett game world has once again swung by very quickly...ive been back hard at work this week...apparently ! I think this game has gone too far now...its even appearing on Skysports new IRL..i received this message from Witham Town Manager Jon Ray just this morning..
“oh look what i found on sky sports news.....
WITHAM TOWN LOOK TO PARDO Witham Town legend Jon Ray has set his sights on Daggers utd striker Pardo in a deal that could reach as high as £1 million. Sources from the Ethan Ray stadium say that the form shown by Witham this season, who remain un beaten have forced Jon to look to the young south American.
Looks like its on then,,,,,,,,”
Jon, im not sure what satellite TV dish you have but I’m not sure it’s real!! Get a grip man!!
Im determined to keep hold of my star striker..although he was clobbered this week but A team of Muppets...keep your boys undercontrol mich!! As to the league..I think Mid-table for the Daggers will be our aim..then push onto the prem next season...then again! This is FML..
Rant of the week...once again our man Vinnie was in fine form in the lobby..thus..
Vincent 'Red Card' Lavezzi: (16:38:17)
And now the FML classified results starting in the Boreclays Premiership .
Stadium Investor 0 ..Team investor 2
Long term planner 0 ..Short term 1
Wreckless Wage FC 4 ..Conservative Utd..1
AI vs active player (courtesy of Diccon Brown)
Artificial City 2 . Sporting Newbie 1
Very funny stuff...a great rant..i wont broadcast the rest as the kids are watching!!
As its the international break once again this week and as England Prepare to Fit Beckham with yet another cap its been fairly quite on the back pages of the Red tops..but ive managed to unearth a few comical parades...if youve been reading there re-vamping Roy of the Rovers and it fittingly goes into our thoughts of FML..after all FML isn’t real either (wash my mouth out i hear you say!)
Some Suprises included in the revamp..here are the Top 5:
5: “you are the ref” asks what to do when a player threatens to slash your throat!
4: Melchester Rovers are 667m in Debt with the owners contemplating moving to Cardiff City and re-branding as Melchester Majic!
3:Its not the boots that make Billy run its the banned steroid THG
2: Gary Lineker `go for goal` quiz column is replaced by advice column on how to secure “top crumpet”
1: Roy Race misses the cup final!! No, not because of injury but because of of his court appearance after an altercation outside a melchester nightclub!!
So get your copy of Roy of the Rovers, looks like a good read to me!! I wonder if they`ll do the same to the beano and bring it bang up to date!! They might give Dennis a Hoodie and replace gnasher with a Pitbull!
I was also reading that research has found that smashing the ball at 65mph from the penalty spot give you a better chance of scoring from 12 yards, the research was from the no Shit Sherlock University!
Moving the IPL from Indian to South Africa this week has not pleased Kevin Pietersen as its going to cost him £150k!! A spokeman for the IPL said “we didn’t want to move it, just wanted to see the look on Pietersens face!
Goalkeeper Ben Foster this week is to bide his team at Manchester Utd and with a bit of luck will become the next Roy Carrol or Raimond Van der Gouw!
So to the exciting climax of the FML season and the joy of Playing AI games...great!! im not complaining..honest! The forums are awash of people moaning!! Just don’t play it then!
I do like the £2 a month offer to go into an old gameworld...ive forwarded it to all my mates...i can loan and sell them some of my tatt!! Marvellous!
As we fast approach the Easter break there will be many managers in Blisett glued to the TV channel DAVE over the Easter weekend...The boys from the DWARF are coming back to earth..SO SI...you`ll see significant number of managers not logging in over the 10,11,12 and 13th of April! You have been warned!!
Have a Great week and don’t forget its only a game kids!!
Kev Flack (Sponsored by Louis Balfour...niiiiiice!)
Friday 27 March 2009
Sunday 22 March 2009
The Final Whistle (A look at the week in FML and Real life)
This week TFW is proudly sponsored by P&O Ferries
I haven't produced a copy of the rag for the Blisett Gw for a while and as ive bee in here quite a disturbing amount of time this week whilst being off sick ive picked up some very amusing conversations from in and around the game world.
Tell me something did he ever play for Arsenal? Just a thought..i could have sworn he played for Watford and ended up in Italy? No?
Rant of the week is a difficult choice so I'll leave you to decide which is the best rant!
Vincent `Red Card` Lavezzi kicked us off with a rant around 5 red card in 4 games, he was not a happy man and it also lead me to discover he`s not Italian either! He`s actually a Met Policemen from Croydon!! I was stunned to see his rant in the AEFA chat...some of which wont be repeated but this was the funniest i can show you:
Vincent 'Red Card' Lavezzi >says: (17:34:02)
..and TVB are showing their stuff here..what crackign play dominating the attack..amazing..but whats this..Ben hibbert appears to be talking to the third official..a vellum envelope has changed hands....omg a red card for being offside for lavezzi..amazing!
and the refs placing the ball for the freekick..1 yard out of the penalty area and demanding the wall leave the field!"
He now says he`s going to quit the game and travel round the world...dont go Vinnie its ok we know your not really Italian!
Second Rant of the week goes to An australlian manager who will remain nameless for legal reasons, who claims the training facilities at his club are sub-standard, im not sure but 13 players wont exactly win you many awards for team spirit and morale...i suggested that he takes his lads to dubai for a well earned brake...dont worry i wont be offering and more advice to managers who have played the game for 18 months...im not a moron you know!!
The sob story of this week has to be Matthew Malloy, this guy has an un-canny resemblance from someone from the muppet show...but you have to feel sorry for him as every time a P&O ferry passes his student digs he loses signal..but then again tourist`s chucking cheap French lager at you must be a bonus...
As for the daggers this week, well we currently sit proudly top of AEFA DB1, but we are realistic and aiming now for a top 6 finish as we moon walk back to the premiership..who are we kidding tho..probably end up 7th on goal difference..My only concern for the might daggers is having to play Pembrokshire FC`s AI towards the end of the season..."mod duties apparently"...get yourself a Brian Horton Deano!
Congrats to Tom Weir....now AEFA org...dont forget the DND button tom..good lad!
Whats been happening in the Premiership this week..well shock horror the top 4 do a merry dance and Man Utd still end up on top after losing 2 games in a row...the first times thats happened in 4 years apparently...Chelsea beaten by Spurs and With Liverpool Facing Villa its all to play for...
Since Jose has gone...we have lost a bit of character in the game...but hold on...Phill Brown is a contender for the post of most amusing manager tag. HE`s had an eventfull week..that dodgy coat last weekend and the spit tunnel at the emriates, he was an angry man,
TOP FIVE REASONS WHY HULL MANAGER PHILL BROWN IS SO ANGRY:
5: Someone just spat in his general direction, oh no hold on that was his wife brushing her teeth!
4: Penny dropped that `new Kevin Keegan` moniker is less about his penchant for attacking free flowing football and more about his thin skinned , over emotional dummy spitting persona!
3:Potentially corrosive effect of saliva on fake tan is no laughing matter
2:Relesead earpieces; surly demeanour and third person-speak make him and Brian Horton look like a criss-cross double act
1:Just dawned on him that he has to get back on the coach to Hull!
Has anyone seen the Ray winstone advert from the FA targeting parents for abusing referees. Good choice of person their to tell people to stop swearing and shouting! Next week GOK WAN will appear in a string of commercials criticising shrieking homosexuals!
Dider Drogba compared himself and his Chelsea teammates this week to being like "Five fingers on a hand" it was a flirting anology, given thats the exact same gesture most fans make when watching the striker in action!
The F1 championship will now be decided on who wins the most races, so what would happen if the same driver won the first 9 races of a 17 race season, surrendering the rest of the season pointless, Bernie Ecclestone put his fingers in his ears and said "fa nananana nan nanana i cant hear you!"
SO to another week in Blisett and yet more shananigans in the lobby no doubt..dont foregt lads..you cant play with 10 men up front...its just not cricket is it!!
Have a good week...
Kev Flack (Sponsored by Louis Balfour, from the local jazz club
This week TFW is proudly sponsored by P&O Ferries
I haven't produced a copy of the rag for the Blisett Gw for a while and as ive bee in here quite a disturbing amount of time this week whilst being off sick ive picked up some very amusing conversations from in and around the game world.
Tell me something did he ever play for Arsenal? Just a thought..i could have sworn he played for Watford and ended up in Italy? No?
Rant of the week is a difficult choice so I'll leave you to decide which is the best rant!
Vincent `Red Card` Lavezzi kicked us off with a rant around 5 red card in 4 games, he was not a happy man and it also lead me to discover he`s not Italian either! He`s actually a Met Policemen from Croydon!! I was stunned to see his rant in the AEFA chat...some of which wont be repeated but this was the funniest i can show you:
Vincent 'Red Card' Lavezzi >says: (17:34:02)
..and TVB are showing their stuff here..what crackign play dominating the attack..amazing..but whats this..Ben hibbert appears to be talking to the third official..a vellum envelope has changed hands....omg a red card for being offside for lavezzi..amazing!
and the refs placing the ball for the freekick..1 yard out of the penalty area and demanding the wall leave the field!"
He now says he`s going to quit the game and travel round the world...dont go Vinnie its ok we know your not really Italian!
Second Rant of the week goes to An australlian manager who will remain nameless for legal reasons, who claims the training facilities at his club are sub-standard, im not sure but 13 players wont exactly win you many awards for team spirit and morale...i suggested that he takes his lads to dubai for a well earned brake...dont worry i wont be offering and more advice to managers who have played the game for 18 months...im not a moron you know!!
The sob story of this week has to be Matthew Malloy, this guy has an un-canny resemblance from someone from the muppet show...but you have to feel sorry for him as every time a P&O ferry passes his student digs he loses signal..but then again tourist`s chucking cheap French lager at you must be a bonus...
As for the daggers this week, well we currently sit proudly top of AEFA DB1, but we are realistic and aiming now for a top 6 finish as we moon walk back to the premiership..who are we kidding tho..probably end up 7th on goal difference..My only concern for the might daggers is having to play Pembrokshire FC`s AI towards the end of the season..."mod duties apparently"...get yourself a Brian Horton Deano!
Congrats to Tom Weir....now AEFA org...dont forget the DND button tom..good lad!
Whats been happening in the Premiership this week..well shock horror the top 4 do a merry dance and Man Utd still end up on top after losing 2 games in a row...the first times thats happened in 4 years apparently...Chelsea beaten by Spurs and With Liverpool Facing Villa its all to play for...
Since Jose has gone...we have lost a bit of character in the game...but hold on...Phill Brown is a contender for the post of most amusing manager tag. HE`s had an eventfull week..that dodgy coat last weekend and the spit tunnel at the emriates, he was an angry man,
TOP FIVE REASONS WHY HULL MANAGER PHILL BROWN IS SO ANGRY:
5: Someone just spat in his general direction, oh no hold on that was his wife brushing her teeth!
4: Penny dropped that `new Kevin Keegan` moniker is less about his penchant for attacking free flowing football and more about his thin skinned , over emotional dummy spitting persona!
3:Potentially corrosive effect of saliva on fake tan is no laughing matter
2:Relesead earpieces; surly demeanour and third person-speak make him and Brian Horton look like a criss-cross double act
1:Just dawned on him that he has to get back on the coach to Hull!
Has anyone seen the Ray winstone advert from the FA targeting parents for abusing referees. Good choice of person their to tell people to stop swearing and shouting! Next week GOK WAN will appear in a string of commercials criticising shrieking homosexuals!
Dider Drogba compared himself and his Chelsea teammates this week to being like "Five fingers on a hand" it was a flirting anology, given thats the exact same gesture most fans make when watching the striker in action!
The F1 championship will now be decided on who wins the most races, so what would happen if the same driver won the first 9 races of a 17 race season, surrendering the rest of the season pointless, Bernie Ecclestone put his fingers in his ears and said "fa nananana nan nanana i cant hear you!"
SO to another week in Blisett and yet more shananigans in the lobby no doubt..dont foregt lads..you cant play with 10 men up front...its just not cricket is it!!
Have a good week...
Kev Flack (Sponsored by Louis Balfour, from the local jazz club
Friday 13 March 2009
The Final Whistle 13-03-2009
The Final Whistle (This week sponsored by Shev Jamil of AEFA)
Musings from a week in football..FML and the real world!
Well, whats been hapnin it seems a while since my last Final Whistle! As the kids would say!!
“I was held down with a shotgun to my head as i lurked in the back corridors of Lineker, a shadow loomed over me and a voice said through my MSN messenger “kev u tit” get back to Lineker!!” I did it! It was 22:45, it was late i was confused and with 2 clicks i was back after 2 seasons absence i was back!!!! Not alot had changed really, i still managed to assemble a team of misfits and rejects, or players with wages people were trying to offload and with in a week im back in the top 300!! When i left i was 547th ranked in the world so thats not bad!! Although i have been assisted by the loan market!! My team is like a branch of blockbusters! (an ode to Terry Tibbs, gone but not forgotten!)
Ive amazingly been squeezed into AEFA championship...im not doing to bad and a few more old faces have returned to the fold..im a bit miffed at the £9m transfer budget of said manager..BOO! oh well..too the season ahead which has started well..i might actually not get relegated! Although John Batty has loaned me a cracking curry recipe!
Same old chat in the lobby, banter and general funiness! Its all part of the game. The most amusing shocking thing ive read in ages came in the new lets get tough rules sent from SI/SEGA..it reads...
LEGAL CONDUCT
- FML has its own economy and in-game method for trading players and competition rewards. You must not offer to sell players for real life money or any other real life benefits. This also includes auctioning players on real life auction websites.
I can’t believe some people would even consider it!! Hey ive got a player on EBAY as we speak..he`s not real but give me £10 and he`s urs!! Apparently WOW accounts are going for $1000 on ebay! Those crazy yanks eh!! Whats that old saying...”Only in AMERICA!” god bless em! I struggle to hide the £17.99 i spent in ASDA on a 2nd sub from the mrs!! I told her it was diesel for the motor!! Hmm..thats an odd price luv!! Not sure i could hide the oh yeh i spent a tenner on a fictional player on a Football manager game!
So whats been going on in the Real world of football....hang on..im getting a bit confused these days in separating FML from the Football in real life...as in real life the daggers are loosing more than winning and the top 4 in the premiership moon walk there way through Europe!! The Real Madrid capitulaitoion to the red side of the Mersey was shocking!! It does make me smile...oooh 4 ENGLISH clubs through to the last 8...how many English players tho!! 12 maybe??
Ah The premier league u cant beat it can u!! Well yeh you probably can but theres so much around the rest of the world!!
Ashley cole..what a great lad he is..Upon returning from Juventus he described how he came from behind an old lady and had given her a good spanking! Back to the dog house for you my lad!
An Arsenal Fan stabbed in the ARSE in Roma..just be thankfull Cockfoster aren’t in Europe!
Roma`s Defeat to Arsenal was a blow for coach Luigi Spaletti, but atleast he can console himself that he was named winner of the most Italian sounding name since Guispeppi Tutti Frutti!
Evertons Victor Anichebee..not having a good time is he..stamped on by Kevin Nolan in Newcastle, booed by Newcastle fans as he hobbles off the pitch. This week left distressed after being pounced on by police- while on crutches for looking in a jewellery shop window. Makes you proud to be English!
David Beckham says he is not fazed by being booed by LA Galaxy fans, a man who had an effigy of himself strung up by fans,what wont trouble him is the though of being jeered at by three fat men called corey!!
Sam Alardyce has told his Blackburn team to slim down a bit! He then said something else but it was hard to make out as he stuffed some cake into his fat face!
Aparently Gomes isn’t afraid of taking on the top 4 big boys!! Well im sure u`ll be ok against Birmingham, Wolves and Burnley Heurelho!
SO to another week in Lineker...have a good one..U`ll see Louis balfour lerking in the AEFA chat or the lobby...just don’t forget...only 1 line in the Market Place! This isn’t EBAY!
Cheers ALL
Kev Flack (sponsored by Louis Balfour..Football Club...niiiiiice!)
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