The top 24 do`s and donts!

Things to do and not to do when playing FML.

1. You must insert and amusing “middle” name into your screen name

2. You must never interact within anyone under the age of 18 as they seem to be better than you at everything, they know the answers to everything, they are quicker witted than you and all appear to want to go into politics’. God help us

3. Do not ever get chatting to anyone from a “mafia” based cult from Scotland.Do not interact with anyone who delivers milk and lives next to a graveyard...yes these people play fml

4. Learn how to sell utter rubbish for a profit...this will help your ebay career.

5. DO not ever get involved with discussions in the lobby full stop.

6. Never insert amusing adverts trying to sell mahogany sideboards in the market place..this isn’t Ebay.

7. Never Link any external sites in the lobby..even if its only for a cooling fan for a PC..this will get you a talking to by a support moderator.

8. Never offer to do Reports on your FA without first seeing a counsellor as the FML mail setup is worse than trying to send an EMAIL via AOL webmail.

9. Try and get the most irritating colour for your name so everyone puts you on ignore.

10. Try and help as much as you can in help even if there is 14 chat helpers online at once..you then get told “thanks but no thanks” when applying for a job

11. Learn the “foth” language..this includes “FU”, “FO” “Waxer” , “Cone” and “Kent”
12. Learn how to spam the EFA room with the devil emoticon

13. Remember your in a new world now and try not to discuss too much your previous worlds..even if you have been in more than you can actually remember

14. To remain unnoticed by anyone do not bid crazy money for youth players..as this will spark a 300 page discussion in your in box.

15. Never Argue with officially appointed people in the game..as they know best..honest.

16. The basics..no swearing, no racist jibes,talking about the church, or posting tasteless but highly amusing jokes that someone just text you on your iphone

17. Get as many Subscriptions as possible so it looks like you have too much time on your hands....and this way everyone get confused as to which gameworld you are in and then cancel them all at once and see people loose there jobs.

18. Get banned from ALL FML gameworlds then appear in a gw after the reset just incase SI run out of money.

19. Have the TV on whilst playing FML even tho your not actually watching it..thats what they invented I player and newsgroup download for. Turn it off, think of the Emissions!! vote green!

20. If you badly need a to go for a piss..go for a piss..”just one more game”, turns into an hour later and you have probably burst your bladder

21. Create an amusing blog to vent your frustrations on…but whatever you do don’t make it into a documentary

22. DO not sit up till midnight waiting for rankings to update..as they do every hour now!!

23. When signing into your chosen gw..please remember which world you in so you don’t make yourself look a right tit in help.

24. And Finnaly..do not whatever you do..feed a FML manager after midnight..and Deffinately do not let him see sunlight!! Oh and if you have a wife or family…make sure you have a picture of them on your desk so you don’t mistake them for being the cleaning company.

25. AND dont be embarrassed of your surname...just putting "Brad" or "Dave" or some other silly thing like "Don" or even the most annoying "SIR" in place of your full name is not good for your self esteem...man up!