Is this week sponsored by Britain’s Next Top Male Model
In this week’s edition:
Louis Balfour Leaves the Daggers...Sacking exclusive
The Daggers Start to the season...Berg hasn’t started well..40k wages..Expensive? Hell yeh!
The world Shudders at the Arrival of Aiden Parry.
Diccon Brown..coaching tips exclusive
Fashion tips from Brad and Rich in the Lobby..Plimsolls or roll necks? We have the answers
Our usual Dip into Real Life Football funnies-This week from the free London Paper
The Worst Players in the World...We have them for you right here
But we start this week with an exclusive insight into the sacking of Daggers first team coach Louis Balfour who has not been seen since his sacking from the Chat helper team just a few days ago. I managed to catch up with Louis in his club last night...he is not a happy man and has vowed to return to Football coaching when the right opportunity arises..He has been offered a youth team role at the Daggers Sister Club Dagenham and Romford United. After our 3rd Round of shots and a few jazz tunes later he revealed to me that he had bumped into a Director of the UFFA board in the back corridors of Blisett, late one Monday evening....He was a new member of the Board and Louis wasn’t sure that bringing a stranger into the boardroom was a good idea..We like our talent home grown he told me...anyway after we had nearly wiped out the optics he also revealed to me that his Contract details and Picture had been altered overnight...he was outraged! ! It was like someone taking your PIN number and helping themselves to your bank account. Louis has taken his case to the board of FML in hope of some recompense. But for now Louis will be in the Jazz club every night unearthing young talent...niiiiiiiice! (I need some 16 yr olds for the youth Louis!
The Daggers Start to the Season in D1 or AEFA got off to a terrible start with the PARDO-BERG partnership not firing on all cylinders..so the coaching team at the daggers reverted back to 1 up front and Berg was dropped to the bench..Our firs t game of the new season was in the Non Prem cup and all started well a 5-2 win against Div 2 Soccer Kings with Pardo and Berg both scoring..but it all went wrong after this and we with our First League games against Tom Weirs Kids a 1-1 draw which we were happy with..a point on the board...we then suffered 3 home 1-0 losses to WKS Grunwald and Morose Maruaders and a poor performance away from home lead to another defeat..2-1 at the hands of Bayern Munich..after a Draw and a Win in our next games...the Season turned...we managed to avenge the defeat against WKS by beating them 5-2 back at the Kettering Lane Arena...then it got even better as we hammered 6 past the Bandits over 2 games..3-0 and 3-1..then a last min defeat to Tom`s hearts again a couple of indifferent results against Blantyre Celtic and we finish the first part of the season top of D1 but having played twice as many games..There are 14 managers yet to play so defeating the AI engine will be the key to success for many of us in AEFA D1 This season.
A New breed of manager transfers in..
It was late evening and the lobby was quite...the wind was blowing in the trees, small animals were preparing for an evening of scavenging of the bins, small children and women were sleeping peacefully upstairs..the kettle was on and a packet of biscuits sat innocently on the desk...then after dipping a garibaldi into the late night cuppa..I looked up and a shudder of universal shuddering happened...the Monitor flickered...the Hard drive almost gave up and the DVD drive ejected a disk for no apparent reason.
AIDEN PARRY had entered the Blisett game world.....
Bradley "Real Manager Award Winner 2009” says: (22:59:17)
You dont want young guys being in charge of your destiny
Diccon Brown: says: (22:59:24)
shudder
Kev `CHAT HELPER BALFOUR! NIiiiiice` Flack.: (23:02:26)
*dark clouds form*
Diccon Brown: says: (23:07:31)
Its ok kev it's not actually happened. There are no beasts rising from where the world has split open, no four horsemen of the apocalypse and the AI is still giving Bradley a shoeing so the world is all as it should be
Diccon...it has happened...the PARRY has landed!!! Be afraid..be very afraid...well unless your Molloy..who`s scared of no one. Who was quoted as saying “who is this Aiden Muppet anyway”.
This weeks Top Training tips with Diccon Brown,
Diccon Brown: (17:24:14)
I am shocked and disappointed... Hermosilla is a great wet lettuce, Your coaching staff have indicated that tenacious Paraguayan midfielder
spurred on by your cutting edge coaching, has been showing remarkable improvements recently.Their report went on to indicate they feel that the player is nowhere near ready for regular first team football and although his development is an encouraging sign for the future throwing him in at the deep end like this may damage his confidence and hamper his development.
Kev `Swiss Toni` Flack: (17:24:36) u bully diccon!
Diccon Brown: (17:25:24) Just because I share coaching tips with the trainer from dodgeballl what of it!!
Diccon Brown says: (17:27:33)
I'll just have to see if Juan Fernández Guillermo González Santos fancy taking his place in the first team to stop him getting his nappy wet!!
Next week..how to motivate your team...with `motivational lectures from Diccon`s motivational manual`.
High Fashion hits the Blisett Lobby..
The Blisett lobby has seen many topic covered but this is the first conversation ive seen on clothes. Blokes just don’t do clothes...or do they..we have the exlclusive transcript below...
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:02:15)
I’ve just been sent an email from a shop that i normally use
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:02:21) saying their baseball caps are now half price, down to £72
Brad . says: (11:02:26) lol, WHAT
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:02:31) yup
Brad .: says: (11:02:38) Are you THAT high class?
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:02:43) one of them has come down from £185
Brad says: (11:02:51)Wtf
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson
says: (11:02:55) nah im not that stupid
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:03:05)most i pay is £40-£50 for a poloshirt
Brad .: says: (11:03:05)is it made from albino children’s ears or something?
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:03:17)lol
Brad . says: (11:03:33)I spend a fortune on clothes
Brad says: (11:04:03) £25 minimum per t-shirt. Average of £70 on jeans, £70 on shoes, £60 on zippies....
Brad .: says: (11:04:12)No wonder I’m in the shit financially
Kev `Swiss Toni` Flack:: (11:04:14) zippies??
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:04:14) lol
Brad .:: (11:04:21)yeah, hoodys with a zip
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:04:30)you know what daps are brad?
Brad .: says: (11:04:37)Beermats?
Brad .: says: (11:04:43)Just a wild punt...
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:04:43)lol
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: (11:04:55) nah the white plimsoll type shoes
Brad .: says: (11:05:08)
I hate them
Brad .:: (11:05:14) Just buy proper shoes godammit
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: (11:04:30)you know what daps are brad?
Brad .: says: (11:04:37) Beermats?
Brad .: (11:04:43) Just a wild punt...
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:04:43) lol
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:04:55)nah the white plympsole type shoes
Brad .: says (11:05:08) I hate them
Brad . says: (11:05:14) Just buy proper shoes godammit<:emoticon#50>
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:05:18) i bought a Fred Perry pair the other day, £35, lol
Brad .: says: (11:05:24)lol
Brad .: says: (11:05:30) Urm...i love plimsoles, good choice rich
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:05:35)lol
Brad .: (11:05:49)I mean plimsoles were cool when you were doing gym in primary 1
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson:: (11:05:57) i dont think ive ever gone too overboard in clothes
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson says: (11:06:07) most lavish was probably £90 pair of jeans, but that was a one off
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson:: (11:06:07) most lavish was probably £90 pair of jeans, but that was a one off
Brad .: says: (11:06:23) I have to spend 70 give or take 20quid
Brad .: says: (11:06:43) 6ft5 with a 31 waist. Trousers need to be good quality or they don’t fit me
Richard 'XFA Org' Gibson: says: (11:06:44)i like Ralph Lauren Polo Shirts, or Crew
SO there we go bloggers...you want Loans you goto blockbusters..you want Deals on players you come to Swiss Toni...but however..you want Fashion Tips..you goto BRAD AND RICH...they have a whole range of tips for you, Baseball caps, Polo Shirts, Zippies, Plimsols, Fred Perry ones..and Rich has a special line in wasting £90 and if u look Bradley is a 6ft 5 18 year old..scary stuff!!
This week our weekly dip into the World of Real football focuses on the London Paper..the free one you get GIVEN if your anywhere near a London Tube Station every evening..I like the sales pitch...U want Free Paper to leave on the train at the other end?? HELL YEAH! It beats sitting listening to some blonde girl who clearly lives in Romford chat to her mates for a whole 25 mins..about how her night in Time & Envy went to the complete list of contacts on her nokia!....do people do this on purpose..the whole carriage could hear..she was putting me off my Reading of this quality daily!!
Tonight we kick off with our Regular Top 5 line-up...our victim this week is yet again Goose Hidwink!
Messages left on Guus`s Answering Machine
5. Gaffer? Physio. Another ones out for the Season with Heart Failure
4.” Clive Tyldlsey here. Was my `Wishe Wordsh` gag the shitties ever said by a human being?
3.Its Sammy Lee Here. Look sorry i spent Tuesday night saying i wanted to ********* tear you a new ********* and that your squad was a bunch of ******* ****** , OK?”
2.”Gaffer? Physio again. Petr chech`s out for the season. Its the worst case of suddenly shit-itis ive ever seen
1.”Ha ha he he ha ha .Tee hee. Ho Ho Ho, sorry, its lionel Messi
Other stories in the news this week....
Jenson buttons car had been classed as legal or was it his girlfriend?
Good Week for Alan Mcgregor and Barry Ferguson. After going on an 8 hour drinking bender then stick two fingers up at everyone on TV. Theyve been forgiven by rangers fans. And also Voted Most Scottish People ever!
Angel Cabrera won the Masters Golf on Sunday. It was the first time a Latin American had been seen in Augusta not holding a brush
Wayne Rooney is reportedly Going to call his sons James, After James Bond. Reports of a home movie called `for your pies only` are untrue
The Worst Player in the World??
Finally this week...Diccon Brown been scouring the Market Place to find the Worlds Worse players....do they belong to you??
James Tomlinson – Gareth Hughes - Daniel Boateng -Nick Buxton - Stephen Hackett - Kevin Doyle - Gareth Hughes - Billy Timothy -
Dan Parker -and the worst of the bunch! just piping Ricky DeFreitas - to the worst player signed
Have you got a story for the blog from your FA? Got something you want to get off your chest? Maybe a Season so far report or how your training facilities aren’t up to scratch? Hints and tips on how to get your stadium full or just a general Rant...then this is the place for you...If you have then mail me on FML...
As for the Daggers this week..whilst we get over the Departure of Louis and the return of Swiss Toni to the coaching team here at the Kettering Lane Arena...All i can say is....it was a treat being in the blue for a few days...but its good to be back!!!
Have a Good week
Kev Flack (Sponsored by Swiss Toni!)
No comments:
Post a Comment