The Dagger Blog Of Blissett...
Sponsored this week by the job centre plus!
In this weeks smaller than usual Issue..i blame it on the boogie.
The Dagger Report-Kids progressing well? we ask Ted.
The Rags- Our usual top 5 and dig into the daily`s
The Diccon Brown Training tip...he`s not pissed you know!
The Toni Report-Satirical reporting from the world of FML.
Firstly this will be the last blog for a while, I will be returning to the working class of great britain next week and as of yet are unsure what kind of hours i will be workig. I hope youve enjoyed reading over the last few months..if you havent well i dont care, its been fun writing it and keeping the majority amused, i think ive done ok with that bit!
The Dagger Report.
So how are the kids doin TED? not bad..they`ve trained hard this week and are looking forward to a brand new campsite on tuesday, there perticulary excited about the new tactics whiteboard being installed...pass...SHOOT! its not difficult i tell them...but joking aside they have had a great season and there progression has been nothing short of superb. On a sad note our young mexican lad has been crippled for 5 days after a disgracefull tackle by some hooligin in an u17`s SEFA game..dirty buggers. IF he wanted the rolex off of him im sure hector would have given it to him. On a scouting point of view ive been scouring the world for new talent..kids for next seasons u17 team..im suprised there has been none come up on the radar..but maybe now that singing superstar bloke has karked it they may come out of hiding..we need some new blood in the campsite for next seasons adventures into the SEFA dungeons league! Thanks Ted, an incitefull comment as ever!
The Rags
Our top 5 this week if for that Scottish Tennis player..
Signs weight of expectation will get to Andy Murray
5.Takes courtside advice from a sock on his right hand called "DR Sockingdon"
4.Strops-Mid Match "Wheres the Queen? Lazy.I have to look at her mush every time i lick a stamp
3.No more Highland spring v Evian controversy. Why whats he been drinking..ah sweet sweet turps.
2.Runs out onto centre court,Arms out stretched, wearing a cape
1."change ends" sorry?- I thought you said underpants.
Other Tennis News..
Alex Bogdanovic insits he`s getting better every year. By the time his 73 he`ll have progressed to the status of utter dog shit!
Jelena Jankovic defended womens tennis this week. "Citing all the personalties that we have" she was then asked to name one other than serena williams and her head exploded.
Hull City fans are preparing chants for transfer target Michael Owen. To play along with the crowd. Owen will sit on the floor for 90 mins and cry into his hands for a full 90 minuetes.
Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce has been given all the transfer kitty from the santa cruz deal to man city. He not sure wether to buy a striker a midfielder or make a bid for the town of blackburn.
Patrick Vieria Could join PSG this week, but coach Antoine Kombouare says his wages could be a problem. As for the fact that he`s now absolute bobbins!
Stoke Manager Tony Pulis has told his players that they can expect big changes in the dressing room next season. Yes the showers will be made from a chrome aluminium composite.
And finally to rugby news where Gareth Hock, the Wigan Rugby league player has tested posotive for Cocaine.The club were stunned. An inquest is being held to discover how anyone living in Wigan can afford Cocaine!
The Diccon Brown Coaching Tips.
Back to basics If your youngens continually pass the ball across the goal tie them hands and feet to a roof above a crocodile pit… see how they then will do anything to get balls away from the mouth (of the goal).
If strikers can't score take them clubbing in east London… if they still can't score shoot them… it's for their own good really.
Midfielders who dwell on the ball put in the electric chair version of Mastermind… any time they get an answer wrong crank up the crank up the juice… see who starts to understand a simple pass often works wonders.
And if your keeper is having trouble with where he should be in relation to the goal half John Bobbit him… apparently if you're lacking in that area it's all about positioning.
The Toni Report
Afte blogging and reporting in Blissett for the last few months with a mixture of Real life comment from the real world and some very entertaining discussions and comic genius from the lobby. This will as already mentioned be the last blog for a while. Its been fun and has kept the old brain cells ticking over for the last 3 months whilst ive been away from work.
So what have we learnt from FML as SI/Sega launch a new pro-world and the mass rush from blissett didnt quite happen and Des Oconner has a new album out..what more can you want...we lost a few but nothing to worry about..Im sure with 1.2 arriving on Tuesday and some new marketing from those SEGA lads im sure we will see an influx of new blood to the gameworld..you never know we might even get some people come back to spend there £15m fortunes. Good lad i say! A few thankyou`s..big one to Diccon for the training reports, always amusing. All the managers who appeared in the blog and made some of the transcripts in the early editons amusing and to the mods for allowing me to post the blog within FML...im sure at times it was a little too JAZZY! but there you go..thats what its all about..a very Jazzy Football management SIM!
A parting ..this was probably one of my favourite rants from blogs past..the manager in question is now plying his trade in Whiteside..and if you get a min listen to the pod cast here...the dagger blog gets a mention at 57 mins if you get bored!
http://www.fm-britain.co.uk/2009/05/13/episode-20-vincent-eintracht/
Vincent 'Red Card' Lavezzi: (16:38:17)
And now the FML classified results starting in the Boreclays Premiership .
Stadium Investor 0 ..Team investor 2
Long term planner 0 ..Short term 1
Wreckless Wage FC 4 ..Conservative Utd..1
AI vs active player (courtesy of Diccon Brown)
Artificial City 2 . Sporting Newbie 1
Very funny stuff...a great rant..i wont broadcast the rest as the kids are watching!!
Thats it! Its been a blast!
Kev.
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